Steps Into The Unknown
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Right, here am I facing the end. And I'm taking a moment to look back. On garden gnomes and lawn mowers. And then the Doctor came and changed my life forever. Set after Doctor Who series three and not really set anywhere in the Torchwood timeline.
1. The Doctor

**Title: Steps Into The Unknown**

**Summary: Right, here am I facing the end. And I'm taking a moment to look back. On garden gnomes and lawn mowers. And then the Doctor came and changed my life forever...**

**Author's Note: Set after Doctor Who series three and not really set anywhere in the Torchwood timeline but given a place I would say after episode one series two. Thanks to Lady Clark-Weasley of Books for being my wonderful beta-reader. And just so you all know. M rated for sex and violence.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Torchwood_ or _Doctor Who_. But I do own all OC characters.**

* * *

You never realise what you have until it's gone…that's what the old saying is. Saying? No, I reckon it's a fact. I've done so much over the last few months and now I'm facing my fears and taking one last challenge. I've come so close to doing just this so many times recently but I'd always managed to escape everything but now it's happening… It's real.

He's here with me still; holding my hand and muttering words of comfort in my ear trying to make this easier for me. Yeah, sure I trust him but I can't quite hear what he's saying.

"I… I… I can't-," I hear myself mutter breathlessly. He takes my left shoulder putting pressure on it and making me wince. I gasp but he tries to smile and distract me from my misery.

"It'll be all over soon," he says now. I try to nod but somehow I can't. He knows how I feel as it happened to him before too.

"But… But… What… Then?" I managed to stutter feebly.

"You'll be safe," he says firmly. I can trust him… I can believe him. He wouldn't lie to me. Not before and not now. But why am I still so afraid? It's the unknown…it's the not knowing what comes next that frightens the living daylights out of me. Ironic that. Usually I'd laugh but here. Not now. I have so much else to worry about.

I've seen so much. I've done so much and now it's gonna end. Everything comes to an end eventually but it shouldn't be this way. It shouldn't be now.

"Safe…" I repeat, managing a weak smile. He smiles too.

"It's been a long time since any of us have felt safe," he says. He's right. I can trust him… I do trust him… I never didn't.

And now, standing on the edge I take a moment to look back… To remember how it all started…

* * *

I'd never really been an early bird yet there I was at seven in the morning, I repeat, seven in the morning, standing in the kitchen attempting to pour milk on my cornflakes. I might add that the cornflakes were also all over the table. That was all typical of my mornings.

It was Wednesday. I had to go and meet an old man whose lawn mower had been broken by a garden gnome lying on the grass. The catch was that it wasn't his gnome. I wasn't really in the mood for broken lawn mowers but I decided I had better go. It was my job after all. I was a journalist for the local paper, you know the type, the little village "newspaper" that promises to give aspiring journalists a good start in their career. Yeah right. I doubted I'd get much further than writing pointless articles about lawn mowers being massacred by gnomes. At least I was giving the local ladies a topic to gossip about over their tea and the men a crime to attempt to solve single-handed.

The doorbell rang then. I scowled. Who would want to ring _my _doorbell at this God forsaken hour? Reluctantly I pushed back my chair and padded through the house picking up the bunch of keys off the bread bin as I went. Don't ask why they were on the bread bin because I don't know. So yeah, I unlocked the front door realising too late that I was still wearing my slightly too revealing pyjama t-shirt and my scruffy pair of blue trackies. I felt even more stupid when I saw how good looking the visitor was. I stuck my head around the door to see what he wanted.

"Erm… Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hello…?" he said as though waiting for my name.

"Lia," I said.

"Does anyone else live here?"

"No, just me. Why?" I asked narrowing my eyes in suspicion.

"Come on, get out!" he demanded urgently pushing open the door and grabbing my hand to pull me outside. When he took my hand I felt something flutter in my chest and I had the electric shock you sometimes get from touching metal. I drew my hand back from his grip but he thought nothing of it. He probably suspected I was annoyed at him. Which I was.

"Excuse me? What the hell are you playing at?" I demanded trying to pull away from his grip. Was I being kidnapped? When that thought hit me I began to panic. I tried to scream but his hand was covering my mouth now. My heart was pounding and I could hardly control myself. I struggled and fought but he didn't let go.

"Stop! Stop struggling!" he urged. Stop struggling? How, exactly, did he intend I did that? Being dragged out of your house by a total stranger isn't the most relaxing thing in the world. The nerve of him to boss me around…

Then came the explosion. He forced me to the ground and we by lay there until the shaking stopped. It was only a few seconds but hell it scared me! The flutter in my chest was still there. It was like a second heart beat but that was impossible, right? The whole time he was touching me it was there.

When the shaking stopped he stood up without offering me a hand. As soon as he let go the beating stopped. The hairs on the back of my neck were static now.

"What…what was that?" I gasped staring back at my house. It seemed fine but I didn't know what havoc was going on inside.

"Just a small…pest infestation," he said but he noticed the disbelieving look in my eyes and carried on, "It was eggs hatching. Alien eggs."

"Alien?" I repeated, not sure I'd heard correctly.

"Alien," he confirmed. Wow… I was wondering what _that _would look like in the newspaper.

I tried not to laugh as my nosy neighbour, Mrs Hunter, appeared out of her house clearly hoping to get the latest gossip first.

"Who are you?" I demanded of the man suddenly.

"The Doctor."


	2. The Swarm

So yeah, he was called "the Doctor". That was a bit strange I thought dazedly. He had brown hair that was slightly out of place from diving around on the ground with me. I dreaded to think what sort of mess I was in.

"You mind if I come in for a look?" he asked walking purposefully towards my house without waiting for an answer. I sighed and followed his lead forcing a cheery wave to my neighbour.

"Everything alright petal?" she asked. And no, petal is not my name but that's what she calls me.

"Yeah… Yeah it's all good." I said – horribly aware of how fake that statement sounded. Oh well. She didn't need to know that alien eggs had just hatched next door to her, did she? No.

I closed the door and walked through into the kitchen. The Doctor was looking around curiously while I sat down at the table and sighed loudly. About ten minutes ago I'd been worried about garden gnomes sabotaging lawn mowers and now I had _aliens_ to worry about. Some random stranger who called himself the Doctor had just dragged me out of my house, which I might add looked perfectly fine. Alien eggs…wow…times really are a-changin'. I think it was Elton John that said that but don't hold me to it.

But anyway, the Doctor had pulled out a slim metal device with a blue bulb on the top. He pressed a button and it began to whirr. I watched in amazement as he held it to his ear and it began to flash rhythmically. It was mesmerising and I found my mouth hanging open so I closed it impatiently.

"Have you got a basement," he asked suddenly. I nodded not quite understanding what relevance that had to anything…unless the aliens where down there. Sounds a bit odd doesn't it; me talking about aliens?

"Can we go down there?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah," I said leading him out of the kitchen and to the door underneath the stairs. I opened it and made to take a step down but the Doctor stopped me.

"I'll go, you stay here," he said firmly. I scowled.

"No way. It's my house!" I countered just as firmly and I'm guessing he saw I meant it because he didn't argue. He took the first step downwards and fumbled for the light switch. A dim light flickered on and I cursed myself for never bothering to change the bulb.

The next thing that hit me was the horrible smell consuming the basement. I wrinkled my nose realising how it reminded me of burning rubber.

"What exactly are we looking for?" I asked carefully.

"We'll know when we see it," he said unhelpfully. I sighted loudly. I wasn't going to get an answer for my question.

Just then I heard a low growl. I peered around in the gloom trying to find the culprit.

"Where is it?" I whispered softly.

"Ssh…" the Doctor said pressing a finger to his lips to back up his point. I fell silent constantly aware of my heart pounding in my chest. The adrenaline was pulsing through my body. I could almost feel the presence of something lurking in the shadows. I looked at the Doctor and waited in the dim light.

There was a gently scuffling noise from behind a stack of cardboard boxes to out left. I bit my lip trying to keep my breath steady.

I took a tentative step towards the boxes, the sound of my blue slippers muffled buy the layer of dust on the floor. I vaguely thought about how I needed to bring the vacuum down here but my mind was too consumed with thoughts of aliens to care much.

Suddenly the stack of boxes toppled and I saw it…

It lay on the floor oozing some sort of green slime. In fact the whole creature didn't amount to much more than green slime itself. It was round and wet looking. Then it opened its eye. Singular. It only had one eye. I didn't know whether to scream and run or to go over to it. I wanted to get away from it but I was mesmerised. It was strange. And what's worse, that was the moment my life changed forever.

"The Swarm…" the Doctor breathed.

"The what?"

"The Swarm," he repeated. "They're nearly all gone now. The Time War imploded their planet. These ones here may well be the only ones left. But why…why are they here? Why Earth at this time? They're a logical race. They don't just do things randomly. Everything's well thought out. There must be something here that they want."

I stared. I was in complete shock but the little creatures grabbed my attention again. There were three of them gathered together oozing gently. The Sward as the Doctor had called them were one of the most fascinating creatures I'd ever seen. I'd never come across anything like them before. By now I'd completely forgotten about the lawn mower man.

"You can touch them if you want, they're harmless," the Doctor said nodding towards the Swarm. My eyes widened. I was interested, I wanted to know what they felt like. So slowly I walked towards to them and knelt down. One of them made a purring noise rather like a cat. I smiled. They were sort of cute in their own way. I patted the one on the left and it was rubbery and slimy.

Just then I felt an unbearable cramp in my stomach. I cried out in pain and the Doctor looked at me anxiously. My eyes were watering and my vision blurred. The world seemed to be spinning even faster than my heart was pounding. I couldn't think through my pain and sudden terror. There was a dull ache pulling at every muscle in my body making it near impossible to breathe. I kept my eyes tightly shut willing the pain to stop. I doubled over and fell to the floor.

Then miraculously it all stopped as suddenly as it had started. I lay on the ground for a moment longer trying to regain my self-control.

I opened my eyes and instantly wished I hadn't. Everything was a dull grey colour and all the shapes were blurring into one. I couldn't see much. Every nerve in my body was tingling and my sense of smell was so accurate that it nearly hurt. Sounds were amplified and terribly sharp. I trailed my tongue across my teeth and felt razor sharp daggers that sent a ripple of pain through my mouth. I tried to sit up and the world spun horribly.

"I think…" I began pausing when I heard how gravely my voice sounded, "I think I'm gonna throw up…"

The Doctor knelt down beside me; I couldn't exactly see him but my stronger senses were putting together a mental picture of my surroundings. I tried not to think about how I was feeling.

"You've changed…" the Doctor said gently trying to explain the situation to me.

"Huh?" I said. It was all I could manage.

"You've changed form. You're one of them."

"Fuck off."

"Not exactly one of them but you're a grown one. An adult."

"Fuck off," I repeated. I didn't like what I was hearing.

"Stop it. You're going to have to face it. There's nothing I can do!"

Then he reached out and touched my arm in what I could see was meant to be comforting. The pain slammed into me again and I screamed. The Doctor may well have let go of me but I didn't notice. I was blinded by my own panic and pain. It was unbearable, it really was. The pain began to ease and when I opened my eyes and my vision was no longer grey. It was back to normal; perfect 20:20 clarity. I looked around to see where the aliens were. Both species. I figured the Doctor was an alien too. That didn't bother me as much as it could have done. I'd just had Swarm or whatever hatching in the basement. More aliens weren't too much of a problem.

Suddenly I threw up on the floor. I felt tears stinging my eyes as my throat burned and my stomach heaved. The Doctor waited by my side apparently unsure of whether to touch me or not. I felt dizzy and finally my stomach was empty and I slumped to the ground inexplicably exhausted. I lay there for a few minutes in silence.

"You're not human?" the Doctor interrogated.

"Of course I'm human!" I snarled, sitting up and hugging my knees. How could he even suggest I wasn't?

"I don't think you are…"


	3. Given A Second Chance

"Where are the Swarm?" I asked changing the subject. I didn't want to analyse my pain as alien growing pains or whatever he was going to tell me. Anyway, he was being ridiculous. I touched a bloody alien and it hurt me. End of.

"Scared," he said pointing to the motionless cluster of Swarm on the ground.

"Scared?"

"You scared them," he said simply.

"Me?"

"Yeah, your panic upset them so they've gone into stasis to protect themselves. They do that to make their enemies think they're dead," the Doctor explained kneeling beside me. He didn't touch me but he did watch me concernedly.

"What now?" I asked.

"Tell me about yourself." It was more of an order than a question.

"I am human!" I said with more force than I meant to. The Doctor raised his eyebrows and I scowled furiously. How dare he question me?

"You changed when you touched those things. You changed in to a Swarm. An adult one. They pretty much have a human exterior but their internal make up is very different."

"Tell me."

"They're don't have stomachs. That's why you threw up. And they're sort of like…vampires. They survive on drinking blood. And once it's in their mouths they absorb it into their blood stream. That's how they survive. On blood."

"But you said they were harmless?"

"They don't need to eat when they're newly born. They survive on that slime that's covering them. Once they've eaten all that they start to evolve."

"So… Was I like a shape shifter?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah. A bit like that," he said casually.

"Are you an alien?" I asked him.

"Yup," he answered at once. So quickly that it surprised me.

"I felt something when you touched me," I said carefully not willing to admit that I was starting to believe him.

"I know," he said with a shadow crossing his eyes, "That's what worries me."

"So… I'm not human…"

* * *

The Doctor had put the frozen up Swarm in a big plastic box that I'd dug out from a pile in the basement. The lid was open so they could breathe.

I'd left the Doctor to his science stuff in the kitchen and gone up to have a shower and get dressed properly. I turned up the water temperature and breathed in the moist steam and tried to calm down. The water hit me but I didn't really feel it. My mind was reeling after everything I'd seen today – even if it was only half past seven. The lawn mower man might have to wait.

After ten minutes I stepped out of the shower and rubbed myself dry with the white towel hanging on the radiator. I flipped my wet hair out of my eyes and walked out of the bathroom tightly wrapped in my towel. I crossed the landing and went into my bedroom to get dressed. I found a pair of black denim jeans and a plain blue t-shirt. I found myself shivering so I pulled open my wardrobe and grabbed the first thing that came to hand; my black zip-up jumper. I pulled it on trying to warm myself up a bit.

I grabbed the hairdryer and let the hot air dry my hair (duh) and also warm my face and neck.

Eventually I padded downstairs in my white trainers with Velcro fasteners. I walked back in to the kitchen. My mouth fell open in shock. There were two more men in there. I frowned feeling irritated. What gave them the right to come in?

One of them was wearing a navy blue great coat and had his hands in his pockets leaning against the fridge. The second was a bit shorter but still taller than me. Only by a bit though. He was wearing a white shirt with the top buttons open and a leather jacket.

They were both incredibly good looking and I felt my anger melt away despite myself when one of them smiled at me. Then it all came flooding back when I realised just how shallow I was being.

"Hiya Lia," said the first man taking a step towards me with an outstretched hand, "Captain Jack Harkness." He winked. I blushed as I politely shook his hand.

"Owen Harper," said the other man nodding at me.

"Hi."

"So…the Doctor tells me you had a bit of an alien crèche in your basement?" Jack said, his eyes sparkling in slight amusement, yes, I was staring in his eyes.

"Um…" I said stupidly before mentally shaking myself. I heard the Doctor sigh.

"I…I…yeah. These Swarmy things hatched. And damn near caused an earthquake," I said. Owen sniggered and I grinned at him.

"Was this the first time you've come across anything… weird?" Jack asked. I laughed nervously.

"Yeah… I mean, half an hour ago I was wondering what I should be wearing to speak to an old man with a lawn mower broken by a garden gnome!" I said, my voice reaching a hysterical squeak and a high note that I didn't know I was capable of. I felt tears forming in my eyes and I brushed them away impatiently. However, no matter how hard I tried to stem them they kept coming. Dammit.

"Hey, don't worry!" Jack said stepping forwards and putting his hands on my trembling shoulders. His grip steadied me slightly and he helped me to a chair by the table. He must have thought I was a real idiot but if he did he didn't say anything. Something in my mind was telling me my hysteria was justified but I still felt stupid.

"And he thinks I'm an alien!" I said pointing to the Doctor accusingly. The Doctor looked up from the plastic box on the floor and watched me.

"I think you must be! Because-," he began.

"No!" I yelled. I'd thought I would be able to deal with what he was saying my mind had gone in to a state of denial. Owen picked up a glass off the draining board and filled it with water and handed it to me.

"Drink. It'll make you feel better," he assured me.

"Thanks…" I muttered sipping it.

"Listen to me," the Doctor said kneeling on the floor in front of me. His gaze locked on me and I adverted my eyes feeling like I was under examination. "How else do you explain what happened to you earlier?"

I blinked. I didn't have an explanation.

"Stomach bug?" I said lamely. I smiled slightly when I saw Owen and Jack do the same. The Doctor remained serious. He reached up and put his hands on either side of my head. I pulled away from his grip as the familiar flutter erupted in my chest, and no, it was not the romantic sort of flutter. I felt dizzy again but the Doctor didn't let go. He tilted my head back and my world spun horribly. I slumped sideways and only then did the Doctor let go. I was leaning against Jack's shoulder and he put a comforting arm around me. I opened my eyes after realising I'd closed them.

When I did open them I suddenly didn't know where the hell I was or even who the hell was with me. I felt my mind going numb and I pushed the darkness away. Then a man's voice penetrated the darkness.

"What are you?"

"I belong to a race called the Celludittons," I head a voice say. It didn't sound like mine but I knew it was mine because my mouth was moving.

"Tell me," the man's voice said. A series of images flooded my mind. They weren't images I recognised from anywhere. A planet – a purple planet – was burning in sky. Gas and debris were floating surreally in orbit.

"The Solar Globe exploded…our planet burned," I heard myself say and suddenly I recognised the voice that I was using. It was my dad. I felt angry tears searing down my face as I spoke. The men I could no longer recognise were watching me apprehensively. I spoke again, "There used to be grass…seas that covered the whole Eastern Hemisphere. There were stars by night that lit everything like little neon candles. By day there was the orange Solar Globe that killed us all in the end."

"What about you?"

"I took my wife. We saved ourselves," and as I said that I was now certain that it was my dad possessing my body to say all this. It was dad's knowledge anyway and I felt a pang of loss at recognising his voice. "There was no hope for the others. There was nothing we could do for anyone else. We were scientists and had been working on an intergalactic teleport device. It hadn't been tested; it was a risk but we had to try. We would have died anyway if we'd stayed. We took that risk and in the sixty seconds it took to wipe out the entire planet we escaped.

"What then?"

"You must understand the Celludittons used to have their own form. They had the ability to change but it took certain conditions."

"I understand."

"We used to look almost like the humans on this planet. Except we were different. We lived so much longer. We were natural survivors. When my wife and I arrived here we instantly took on the human form. That's what Celludittons do; they copy the dominant species on the planet not just in appearance but every cell in their body. Even though that's how things work, touching another species from another planet changes us too. It takes a great deal of conscious effort to hold back a change."

"Where are you now?" asked the man I could no longer recognise. He was addressing my dad.

"Dead."

That was my voice. Dad was gone. I was tensing. There were more images flooding into my head – images that I didn't want to see. I knew these ones. They were mine. They were my memories unlike the stuff I'd been saying earlier. Somehow I couldn't stop myself speaking when the man spoke again.

"Why?"

"They were murdered. Both of them. I was ten. It's twelve years ago now. A man came to the house." I was sobbing uncontrollably now. I could feel myself loosing my composure but I noticed I could now recognise my surroundings and the people in the room. Jack was still holding me tightly, the Doctor was kneeling on the ground in front of me firing questions in my direction and Owen was standing by the door watching with a concerned expression. Then I was lost in the memories…

_The man started asking questions but mum and dad told him they didn't know the answers. Dad told me to go to my room. The man took out a knife and grabbed me pressing the knife to my throat. Then he started asking questions again with more force. I couldn't remember the questions any more. Then he told dad that he knew we were aliens. Mum said he was drunk and delusional. Then he threw me to the ground and ran at mum and he raised the knife…_

I surfaced from my mind again. I realised I'd been telling the Doctor and the others what I'd been seeing in my head. There were tars streaming down my face and I was shaking. There were memories I'd carefully buried for so, so long and I'd managed to forget them. I'd blocked out my past. I'd been to see councillors and they'd been telling me to accept and deal with my trauma but I couldn't bear to do that. So I blurred out my mum and dad from my past.

"Lia, please tell me," the Doctor said firmly.

"No!" I wailed rocking back and forth anxiously. I couldn't sit still.

"Please, Lia, just tell me! Can you remember what the man looked like?" the Doctor asked. I was so absorbed in my own pain that I didn't see the agony in his eyes. The pain that was pounding through my veins was the same pain that I'd felt when my heart had been torn from my chest and stamped still beating in to the ground all those years ago. Then I drowned in the memories again. I couldn't keep them at bay.

_He was tall and had black hair and smelt of petrol. He stabbed my mum. There was blood everywhere. There was red everywhere; on the floor, on the knife…on my clothes and face. Dad tried to attack the man then. Over and over he repeated the words "Not my wife, not my Sara, no please!" but the man never listened. Then he turned to dad too. I cried and the man told me to shut up. I was so scared. He kicked me to get me to be quiet._

_Then the man ran through the house with dad following him. Before he went dad threw me in the kitchen and slammed to the door. I only just saw the man locking our front door. I hid under the table. I was only ten and I had just seen my mum killed. I cried so much._

_I heard banging on the front door. Then dad screamed. I could smell the fire and more petrol. I could still head dad yelling. I struggled to remember what I'd been told to do if a fire stated. The constant drone of the fire alarm, "Dur Dah Dur Dah Dur Dah", punctuated my panicked thoughts. Then I remembered how out kitchen door rarely stayed closed. It burst open…I could feel the heat and then everything went black._

Owen was standing in the corner of the room with his head back and his eyes closed. Jack still had his arm around me and he was gently rocking me back and forwards as I sobbed. The Doctor stood up and walked to the plastic box without saying anything. He peered inside and sighed before shutting the lid.

"Why d'you live here?" he asked eventually. The memories flooded back...

_I woke up in a hospital. There were so many machines around me beeping – constant noise. I tried to concentrate on the noise at night just to block out the memories._

_I was transferred from place to place. I was in the Children's Hospital for three months in a coma. I hadn't been badly burned but the force of the fire breaking down the door had sent my flying back and knocked over the table. The doctors thought it was a pure miracle that I survived but I was told the fire brigade had managed to drag me out of the wreckage of my life. But dad was dead before they got there._

_After that hospital I was transferred to a Psychiatric Hospital where I was shown how to "deal" with my life. Then I was adopted my Jane Baxter. She was trained to deal with "special cases" like me. I never quite got used to the way I became a file that was so easily transferred from one box to another._

_I was given another chance in life. I even changed my name. I used to be Kayla Jacobs. I took on Jane's surname and became Lia Baxter. It was a way of blotting out my past. I could move on and forget. I moved in here; a nice little village where I could trust everyone and not be followed by things I couldn't see. And the village was only ten minutes or so away from Cardiff. I lived quietly and found my talent in writing – then I got a job in journalism._

"But I'm not Lia Baxter! Lia Baxter is a lie! A role-play character! I'm not her!" I sobbed feebly.

"But the important thing is that you're here, alive, now!" Jack said squeezing me tight.

"Sometimes I wish I had died…" I said sadly and almost longingly, "I wish I was still with my parents and we were all safe, I wish I was dead!" I wailed hopelessly. The grief was overcoming me again. I couldn't stop shaking. I was distraught. I was despairing of the situation and I was losing myself.

Then Owen was kneeling beside me with a syringe in his hand.

"No!" I cried. I didn't want whatever he was going to inject into me. I tried to push him away.

"Hey, it'll help!" he said firmly and before I had any more time to protest the damned needle was in my arm.

"Lia," Jack said taking my shoulders to stop me falling, "Listen, you're safe." I heard him and something about his voice was soothing and comforting. Was it the confidence that he spoke with that was making me feel safe?

"I should have died then too!" I wailed pitifully. The drugs that Owen had injected into me were beginning to take effect. I was drowsy. I fought against the darkness but I wasn't able to stop my eyelids drooping and eventually I fell asleep.


	4. Hot Chocolate

When I woke up I wasn't in a place I recognised. I was lying on a bed in what appeared to be a Medical Bay. It was dimly lit and that suggested to me that it was night time. Dammit. I hated waking up in the middle of the night; I could never get back to sleep. Sleep? I couldn't really remember falling asleep in the first place. I could remember waking up in the morning… Oh yeah, I'd been planning on speaking to the gnome/lawn mower man. Then the doorbell rang. And then there was the Doctor. And the Swarm. And Jack and Owen. Of course, Owen and his damned needle…

I'd embarrassed myself in front of three strangers. Okay, they were really, really hot strangers but they still had no right to be invading my house and probing into parts of my life that were private. I felt considerably calmer but I didn't have a clue where I was.

"You awake?" I heard Jack say from nearby.

"Uh huh," I mumbled nervously. Jack wandered over from where he was standing in the corner. He sat down on the bed beside me as I sat up slowly.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

"I dunno… A bit drowsy. What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"Six in the morning."

"What…" I did a quick mental calculation, "So I've been out for nearly twenty four hours?"

"Yup."

"Wow…" I breathed in slight shock. I knew I slept for a long time and when left to it (as in without the alarm clock blaring "Green Day" at me) I could sleep for a very long time. There was silence for a moment.

"Where am I?" I asked eventually.

"Torchwood Hub."

"Right and that explains it all," I snapped. Petulance was a usual symptom of my awakening.

"Yeah, sorry. We're in Cardiff. Cardiff Bay to be exact," Jack explained.

"And what exactly is Torchwood?"

"Cardiff is sitting right on top of the time and space Rift. Things can come through to this world from other dimensions. Torchwood work outside the government and beyond the police fighting for the future on behalf of the human race."

"Things come through? Like aliens and stuff?"

"Yeah."

I tried not to think about the fact that I was now one of those aliens. There was no way I could ignore the things I had said back at my house. I'd heard it all.

"Where's the Doctor?" I asked.

"He'll be here soon. He's still dealing with the Swarm," Jack said.

"Oh… What's he doing with them?" I wanted to know.

"Finding them a place to live."

"Where?"

"Another world," Jack looked at me with something resembling curiosity in his eyes. He was probably wondering how I was going to react to his words. To my surprise I took it pretty well. I could have guessed there'd be other worlds. I was from one after all. I'd come to terms with being an alien alright now. Amazing really that I was so calm. I sighed slightly. There was no going back now.

"The others will be back soon," Jack said trying to make conversation again.

"The others?"

"Yeah, they went home for the night. I'll introduce you to everyone when they arrive."

"How many of you are there?"

"Five."

"That all?" I asked incredulously.

"What d'you mean "that all"?" He said in mock horror, "We're the elite!"

I laughed. It felt good. Believe it or not I actually felt safe in this strange place.

"I'm sorry, you know, about earlier," I said quietly keeping my eyes fixed on the ground. Jack nodded understandingly. He took my hand and it was only when I felt how warm he was that I figured out that I was cold. Then I realised someone had taken my jacket off. I could see it hanging on the back of a chair nearby.

"It's not your fault. The past usually comes back to haunt us," Jack said. I waited for him to elaborate but he didn't say anything more. I sighed.

"Remember… Remember what"I" said about the Solar Globe killing my planet? How did I know all that? I was speaking in my Dad's voice. How?"

Jack thought for a moment before saying, "The Doctor can do this "mind reading" trick. He saw inside your mind and what you said must have been something your father said to you when you were a kid. Maybe you don't remember it." It was logical at least.

"So… I'm not human," I said deciding now as the time to start accepting myself.

"You are now, you're in human form," Jack said with a shadow of a grin.

"Yeah… But the Doctor touched me. I felt something change inside me. He's not human either is he?" I asked.

"A Time Lord. He's the last of his kind."

"Like me." I felt a pang of loss then. When I was ten not only had I been orphaned but I'd become the last of my species.

Then a man came in carrying a tray with two steaming mugs on it.

"I saw you're awake," he said to me putting the tray down on the metal unit and handing Jack and I mugs. I thanked the man and took a sip.

"Hot chocolate!" I squeaked happily. Jack and the new man laughed.

"Yeah, I didn't know if you liked coffee… But, well, you're a lady," the hot-chocolate-bearing man said smiling slightly.

"And we saw you're, um, extensive supply of chocolate products in the kitchen," Jack said grinning, "Ah, and this is Ianto Jones."

Well, Ianto Jones was a person I could have kissed right at that moment. Chocolate was the only sustenance I needed just then.

"Ianto, this is-," Jack began but I cut across him.

"Kayla Jacobs," I said firmly. I wasn't going to deny my past any longer.


	5. All Part Of The Job

It wasn't long before Owen made an appearance. He jumped down the last few steps and wandered over to Jack, Ianto and I.

"Morning L-."

"Kayla," I corrected. A shadow of confusion crossed his face but he seemed to understand.

"Well Kayla, how you feeling?" he asked taking my arm and fitting a strap onto it to take my blood pressure.

"Like some prat rammed a syringe in my arm," I said. Jack sniggered and Ianto smiled.

"Hey!" Owen said, looking slightly irked.

"Thanks for doing that though," I said more seriously.

"It's all part of the job," he said casually winking at me. I blushed. Ianto rolled his eyes and smiled. Then Owen picked up a stethoscope.

"Just gonna check your heart rate," he said sitting down beside me and slipping the stethoscope up the front of my t-shirt. I vaguely wondered if I should point out that he wasn't going to get an accurate measurement of my heart when I was in a room with three really hot guys one of whom has his hand up my top. So I shut my eyes and tried to ignore them.

"That sounds normal…" he said eventually before shifting the stethoscope around a bit. I bit my lip trying to stifle my giggles.

"I think you'll be alright," Owen concluded taking his hand out from under my t-shirt.

"That's, um… A relief," I said.

"Yup. Later on we're gonna run a few more tests-," he began.

"Why?" I demanded.

"Routine," Owen said simply but something in his voice told me there was more to it than that. I was an experiment. It was only then that I realised Ianto had gone back upstairs. I only noticed that because he appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Jack? That's everyone here now," he said.

"Okay – well, I want everyone in the boardroom in ten," Jack said darting up the stairs after Ianto and leaving me with Owen.

"Owen…" I said slowly, "What's gonna happen to me?"

"You'll be safe now."

"Really?" I said and I hated the childish note of desperation in my voice. I hadn't sounded like that since…since I'd been told Jane Baxter was going to adopt me and I'd been told I'd be safe then…

"Yeah," he said holding out his hand to me. I gratefully accepted it and he pulled me to my feet. The world spun for a moment and I tightened my grip on his hand but it passed after a second or two. He helped me up the stairs and my mouth fell open when I saw the rest of the Torchwood Hub. It was huge. I was surrounded by technology the like of which I'd never seen before and could never have dreamed of.

"Wow…" I breathed. Owen was watching me keenly waiting for my opinion, "This is… This is incredible!"

"It is? I never noticed," Owen said smiling. I grinned and Owen led me in to a large boardroom with a big table down the middle. There was a screen on the back wall and there were people in the room already. The Doctor was standing talking urgently to Jack. Ianto was placing a coffee tray down on the table. There were two women sitting at the table in silence. I bit my lip nervously.

Once we were all settled Jack leant forwards in his char with his arms folded on the table in front of him.

"So, quick introductions. I'm Captain Jack Harkness, in charge of Torchwood Cardiff. This is an old friend of mine, the Doctor," he said gesturing to the Doctor. I saw a ripple of interest circle the room making everyone look more alert and watch the man beside Jack apprehensively.

"So… You're _the_ Doctor?" Gwen said curiously. The Doctor looked at Jack as if to say, "they don't know?" and then back at the team. I was puzzled but I didn't say anything. Jack interrupted the questioning session that threatened to take place.

"And this Doctor, Kayla, is Torchwood."

It was the Doctor's turn to look around the room. He seemed to be surveying them and there was a vague haunted expression behind his dark eyes almost like he was remembering some horror in his past. He seemed slightly hostile towards the little team. Jack seemed to be able to sense his feelings and carried on.

"Toshiko Sato; Torchwood's own technical genius."

I looked at Toshiko, she was pretty, she was blushing modestly at Jack calling her a genius and she smiled warmly at me when I caught her eye.

"Doctor Owen Harper; our resident medical expert. Ianto Jones-," Jack said but a muffled alarm bell from near by cut him off. I jumped and looked around nervously.

It was Toshiko who got up and left the room telling us she had left a scan running on the computer and went off to check it. I watched anxiously as she left wondering what the scan was for.

"And Gwen Cooper," said Jack distractedly still with his eyes following Toshiko as she shut the door.

There was silence for a moment before Jack spoke again.

"This is Kayla Jacobs," he finished eventually. I saw a flicker of confusion cross the Doctor's face before he grinned at me. I grinned back happily.

I even felt slightly different using my own name again. I felt more alive, more real and much more free. When I was younger I had expected to feel trapped and damaged still clinging and trying to piece together the shattered remnants of my world but now I was back I felt better. I suddenly realised that I'd never lost that confidence and bounciness when I'd lost my parents. Changing my name had convinced me that I was someone else and the horrors of my past had never happened and I could move on from there. But there, sitting in the boardroom, I realised that I needn't have changed anything. I would have come out of my dented shell once more.

I was dragged from my reverie by the Doctor's voice.

"I detected non-human life forms using the TARDIS – my ship – and it led me to Kayla's house. We found the Swarm in her basement but I also figured out that they weren't the only non-humans in the building."

I blushed as all eyes fixed on me. I looked at the table so I didn't have to meet their gaze.

"Kayla here is from another planet," said the Doctor leaning forwards onto the table, "She's from a planet called Durondalius and that's a long, long way away from here."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I did a bit of research, I'd heard a bit about the Celludittons before I met you."

"What we gonna do?" Gwen asked now, "Take her home?"

"My home's gone," I said remembering what had been said back at my house.

"We need to protect Kayla," the Doctor said urgently, "Celludittons copy the genetic make up of the dominant species of a planet. In a centaury where so much is changing and aliens are coming to Earth Kayla's at risk from them perhaps more than anyone else."

"Why?" I asked.

"I took the Swarm to another planet but they spoke to me before they went; they knew that you were their only chance of survival. Mothers of the Swarm die after giving birth so they try and find a place where their children will be safe. Because their planet is gone their best chance would be using Kayla. She could be like their foster mother if they could only turn her into one of them."

"So what you're saying is that other species are gonna try taking advantage of me because…because I'm a Celluditton?" I said quietly.

"Yup," the Doctor nodded. There was silence. I buried my head in my hands and silently cursed everything and anything under the sun.

"Tosh and I'll see what we can do for her. You know, run a few tests and see what we come up with," Owen said trying to help.

"I'm not a bloody experiment!" I snapped angrily.

"No, but we might be able to help you," Jack said and something in his voice warned me against kicking up a fuss.

"Okay…"


	6. Can I Have Your Number?

Ten minutes later I was back in the Torchwood Med Bay with Owen and Toshiko. I was sitting on the bed with one of those white paper covers on it. My feet didn't quite reach the ground and it made me feel quite little but I ignored it.

"What was the scan you were doing?" I asked Toshiko then. She looked at me.

"Just a search over Cardiff to pinpoint any more Swarm in the area. I did one yesterday but I was just checking again to be certain," she explained, clearly at home among technology.

"Find anything?"

"No, all clear," she said smiling. I smiled too. At least there were no gloopy, baby space vampires in the immediate area wanting me as their foster mother, which is always a good thing.

"So, I'm just gonna take a quick blood sample," Owen said appearing beside me with another syringe. He fastened a band around my upper arm. I'd had this done before at the health centres and things but hell it never gets any easier. I shut my eyes and tried to ignore him, but you know when you try to ignore something you're scared of, the more real it seems and the more you notice it? That was what happened then.

When he put the needle in I believe my exact words were, "Oh you little bastard!" Owen laughed slightly and Toshiko just smiled.

"There, all done," he said eventually, "You okay?"

"Uh huh…" I said weakly holding the cotton wool ball he handed me against the prick in my arm where there was a small dribble of blood leaking out. Owen handed me a chocolate cookie and told me to eat it in case I was going low on glucose levels. To me it was just an excuse to eat chocolate cookies.

After he was certain I wasn't going to faint on him he led me over to the set of scales in the corner.

"You want to know how much I weigh?" I demanded.

"Yeah…"

"You never ask a lady that!" I said, feigning outrage. Owen looked slightly uncomfortable and I smiled triumphantly as I slipped of my trainers and hopped on to the scales. After that he measured my height and "all that jazz" you know, the routine stuff. Toshiko had drifted away upstairs to do something else and I was left with Owen.

Then I realised I was hungry and I told him so. He looked slightly startled but then I reminded him that I hadn't had breakfast yet and he apologised. It was eight o' clock after all…which in my opinion is still really early but for once I wasn't tired. Maybe that was because I'd slept for a whole day?

"Go find Ianto, he'll fix you up with something," Owen told me.

"Actually…you mind if I go home for a while?" I asked. He looked reluctantly but he gave in when I smiled pleadingly at him. It was a well practised smile that one. I'd used it on teachers many a time if I'd forgotten my homework, mind you, I didn't do that often. I was a good girl at school; sensible, always doing my work but fairly confident in class. Moving to Secondary School had brought me out of my shyness and I found myself being pushed to speak out. It was the only way to survive in the Cardiff High School, where I was.

Although I was placed in a small village to live in I was living, Jane thought it was best for me to go to school in a place where I was forced to socialise with people and find my trust again. I also needed to make new friends because I'd been born and brought up in Scotland. Jane was the only person they could find to take me and it was decided that it would be best to take me away from the gossip in the press.

"Alright," Owen said, "You're car's outside somewhere. Jack took it down yesterday for you."

"Why?"

"To be nice to you? I dunno, maybe to trick your neighbours into thinking you're on holiday or something? Nice car though," he added as we walked.

"Thanks," I said cheerfully. I'd always liked my little car. It was little, blue, five doors, power steering, built in CD player and it was me-sized.

Owen led me through a round door that slid aside for us and then into a small tourist office complete with leaflets about Wales. He handed me my little black handbag and told me to back in an hour and half. I told him I would and thanked him for taking my handbag from my house. I don't usually carry a handbag when I'm out unless it's for business stuff for the newspaper

"Hey, can I have your number?" he called after me. I paused in my step and grinned before turning around with raised eyebrows. He caught on to my amusement and elaborated on his question.

"You know, in case we need to contact you…"

"Okay," I said pulling my Sony Ericsson mobile from my bad and flipping it open and pulled up my number to the screen and read it off to Owen. He then gave me his number and I finally hurried off to my car after waving him goodbye.

I found my car, Ice-Cube, and clicked open the lock using the button on the key – just because I could. And yes, the car was called Ice-Cube. I just thought the blue colour reminded me of ice and she had to have a name, didn't she?

I just sat in the driver's seat for a few minutes and relaxed into the quietness and peacefulness. There was nobody pushing needles into my arm or telling me I was an alien in my car. My car was my space. I pressed the on button for the CD player and sighed as Nickelback, _How You Remind Me_ came on the speaker system.

"_This is how you remind me of what I really am_," the lyrics chased themselves in my head. I shut my eyes and just listened. Music always had a way of letting me escape.

"_It's not like you, to say sorry! I was waiting on a different story_!" I always had marvelled at how music found a way of understood me.

Finally I decided to go in search of food. I didn't want to go home just yet. It was a bit of a drive from the Bay to my house. I used to go there sometimes. I started up the engine and drove off down the streets listening to the music. I spotted a supermarket. I quickly parked Ice-Cube and jumped out. I locked her and walked across the car park amongst the sea of people. There was something mind numbing about being in the supermarket. Everyone was just milling around picking things up and loading them into already packed trolleys. Sometimes they would stop to read the labels.

I headed straight for the sandwiches and looked around and decided there was nothing I wanted so instead I gabbed a ready-made fruit salad and a bottle of water. I paid and headed back out to my car to eat my breakfast.


	7. I Could Murder A Jaffa Cake

Half an hour later I was standing in the Med Bay again with Owen. He had set up a treadmill of some sort and told me to get on it. I did as I was told and jogged when he started up the machine.

"Just thought I'd mention… That I haven't… Been on one… Of these… Since I was… Sixteen… And my mate and I… Went to the gym… To check out… Hot guys…" I panted smirking slightly. I had only just realised that I could check out the hot guys in my own private Torchwood gym… I stifled a giggle then. Owen rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, we'll take it slowly to start with. But really, you shouldn't have a problem, you look pretty fit to me," he said slyly.

I struggled onwards while Owen watched my heart rate and things like that. I was beginning to get pretty tired when he eventually turned the thing off. I stumbled and nearly toppled backwards. Owen told me to do a couple of stretches to keep my muscles warmed up. I did that.

After a while I was finally allowed to sit down. My breathing was still deep and fast but I was gradually recovering. Owen handed me a glass of water, which I drank gratefully.

"Now Kayla, any muscle fatigue?" he asked sitting down beside me.

"Uh… A bit, you know, I don't do much proper exercise. That was pretty intensive," I said in my defence.

"No, you're bound to be feeling tired. Anyone would be!" he said quickly. I nodded.

"Yup."

"Right then, you seem in good shape. Now, I did some brain scans and things while you were asleep-."

"Drugged," I joked. Owen grinned.

"And I just sorted out the results while you were away getting breakfast. I've had a look and everything seems pretty human except…" Owen fumbled around and flashed up a scan image on to a computer screen, "That…"

My eyes widened in shock. On the screen I could clearly make out the revolving image of my brain but on the top of the medulla underneath the cerebellum (see, I did listen in Biology at school) there was anther structure just between the two parts of my brain, barely visible.

"What… What is that?" I asked dragging my eyes away from my own brain to look at Owen.

"It's some sort of brain structure that humans don't have, I think that's what makes you alien," Owen said still studying the image.

"But… But when I was a kid in the hospital I had loads of brain scans! How come they didn't notice that?" I asked struggling to figure out the logic.

"Tosh managed to get hold of your medical files-," he began.

"How?" I demanded at once feeling as though my privacy had been violated.

"Because we can," Owen said smugly, "And she found some of your earlier brain scans. That thing doesn't show up on them so maybe it's just newly developed."

"What does it do?" I asked then.

"I'm not sure but I think that's the unit that makes you change," he said, "And I have a way to find out. I'm so sorry Kayla."

At once I became suspicious and my pulse was rising.

"What?" I said fearfully getting to her feet.

"We're gonna need to conduct a little experiment…"

"What?"

"Sit down Kayla," Owen said. I did, a little reluctantly.

"Tell me what you're gonna do Owen."

"We're just gonna fit this on your head… Just like this," he said picking up a thing that looked like a cycling helmet off of the counter. It had wires plastered all over it and I thought it looked like some device of torture.

"What is it?" I said as he fitted it on my head. It pushed down on my ponytail slightly and it annoyed me so I reached up and let my chestnut hair fall to my shoulders.

"It's a brain scanner. It'll detect activity in your brain – including that new bit."

"And why you sorry?"

"Because this might hurt a bit… You see, for this to work we need to… To have you faced with another non-human…" his voice trailed off and he was watching me with a slightly apprehensive look on his handsome face. I sighed and rubbed my face with my hand and nodded.

"Okay…" I whispered.

"You'll do it?" he said, looking slightly surprised.

"Yeah."

Owen grinned nervously and left the room for a moment. He returned with the Doctor. The Doctor waved cheerfully at me and I smiled apprehensively.

"What d'you want me to do?" I asked Owen. The young doctor checked the helmet on my head and it was a moment before he spoke.

"I want you to shake hands," he said. His request sounded so stupid. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was having me on.

But I did know better. The Doctor was an alien. If I touched him then I would change. I bit my lip anxiously. The Doctor held out his hand to me. I hesitated as memories of the other times I'd touched him flooded into my head. The Doctor grinned welcomingly and there was something of a challenge in his dark eyes. I stretched out my arm tentatively and took his hand.

The effect was almost instantaneous; I could feel that little double beat in my chest and my thoughts struggled to form themselves for a moment. Then he'd let go of me and it all stopped.

"Brilliant," was all Owen said with a small smile. I could tell he liked finding things out and understanding the reasons behind them. I did too. When I'd lost my parents and I started at my new school I had buried myself in schoolwork. I'd taken any distraction that came my way and any time I felt my mind wandering I would find something to do – maybe a page of trigonometry problems. I'd struggled at school so I'd done all I could to understand it. I spent ages trying to figure out where all the numbers come from and how to work out the value of "x" or whatever. It was boring but it was distracting. I came out of school with pretty good marks. I even learnt to play the clarinet pretty well!

"So… What happens now?" I asked Owen as I sat down on the chair nearby.

"Tosh and I are gonna have a look at these results but for now you can just go and…I dunno, hang around?" he said cheerfully. The Doctor beckoned me towards him and I walked with him out of the room. We walked in silence for a while before he spoke.

"So… What d'you want to do now?"

"What? Um… I dunno, grab a drink?" I suggested.

"Okay," he said walking off with me to find some drinks and possibly some biscuits. I could murder a Jaffa Cake.


	8. You're Drooling

"Hey Kayla!" came Owen's excited cry from nearby an hour later. I jumped up and followed his voice back to the Torchwood Med Bay.

"What?"

"Come here," Owen said smiling and I mooched over to him and looked curiously at the cheerful glint in his eyes.

"What is it?"

He held out his clenched fist and opened it in front of me. In his hand was a silver chain with an electric blue pendant. I gasped. It was beautiful.

"It's an Anti-Morphic chain. You wear it and it'll stop you changing," Owen explained triumphantly.

"It's lovely!" I squeaked. Owen smiled.

"Glad you think so," Tosh said grinning.

"Thanks!" I said hugging her and then Owen.

"Thought it would bring out the colour of your eyes," Owen said grinning cheekily.

"It's a solidified blue chemical with a special system inside it that detects activity in that little bit of your brain that affects you changing form! It's all really hi-tech and well… It'll give you a bit more freedom! It keeps you hidden from any aliens searching for you because of your species," Tosh said.

"Awesome!" I said happily as he fixed the chain around my neck. I smiled happily as he stepped back and winked at me. I blushed slightly and that just broadened his grin.

Toshiko handed me a mirror and I looked in it curiously.

Just then my mobile phone rang. I fumbled around to pull it out of my pocket. The called ID was flashing up on the screen. It was my best friend Charlie. She'd been one of my little crowd at the school. She had shiny blonde hair and startling blue eyes. She was petite and beautiful but she wasn't a bimbo. She got brilliant marks in her exams without too much effort. She never even bragged about it much either!

"Kayla Jacobs," I said over the phone realising too late that Charlie wouldn't have a clue who "Kayla Jacobs" was; as far as she was concerned her friend was called "Lia Baxter".

"I'm… I'm looking for Lia?" Charlie said uncertainly.

"Yeah, this is Lia," I said slowly.

"Oh, hi…" she said.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing, you just said Kayla…? I thought Kayla was your old name? Like, before your parents…" her voiced trailed off. I'd told Charlie about my past and she'd been very understanding. She didn't know all the details. She just knew that they'd died and I'd been adopted under a new name.

"Yeah, I did. I've decided to change it again," I said quickly wanting to find out why she'd phoned.

"Oh…right. But Li…Kayla, you know I'm never gonna get used to that!" she said and I heard her laugh slightly. I smiled.

"So, what was it you wanted?" I asked.

"I was just wondering where you were! I mean, that bloke that you were meant to be speaking to about some lawnmower thing was really pissed that you hadn't come! Hell, L…Kayla you should have heard him! It was really quite scary! I went round to your house to try and find you and he came round and started demanding where you were!"

"Right," I said distractedly. Frankly, I hadn't had time to think about the lawnmower man since the Doctor appeared at my house. I wonder why.

"You alright, Kay? Hey can I call you that? Kay?" Charlie said and I heard her laugh slightly.

"Sure, whatever!" I said smiling slightly and toying with my new necklace idly, "And yeah, I'm fine. I was just…I was just…you want to meet up somewhere?"

I needed to be face to face with her to explain the situation properly. Charlie was my best friend and I really needed to explain it to her. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

"Yeah, cool! Where and when?"

"Um... How 'bout my house? Soon as?"

"I'll be there!" Charlie chirped happily and with that she hung up. I flipped my phone shut and looked at Owen and Tosh.

"I'm going back home for a while. Meeting a friend. That alright?" I asked politely.

"I guess. Just be careful," Owen warned.

"Here, I'll come with you," the Gwen Cooper said making her appearance in the room. I nodded. It would be good to have some company on the way home; it's quite a drive from Cardiff to my little village.

* * *

I started up Ice-Cube and we were quickly on the road within minutes.

"So… You been with Torchwood long?" I asked trying to make conversation.

"I'm the newest," she said smiling, "Unless you're coming on board?"

"Me?" I said, bewildered.

"Jack was impressed by how well you handled the whole "You're an alien" situation," she said smiling at me.

"Really?" I said incredulously. Did he deal with "You're an alien" situations a lot? That made me feel like just another number... But then again, if he thought I'd done well... I glowed.

"Yeah, lots of cases like you that we've come across haven't been able to handle it at all!"

"Thing is, I'm pretty human most of the time. Except under certain circumstances," I said.

"Yeah I know that but you're still officially non-human!" Gwen said smiling at me. I nodded. She was right. I'd sort of got used to the fact that I was an alien by now.

"And I think you went down well with Owen…" Gwen said looking out the window but I could sense her grin. I blushed slightly. I could see my face reddening in the rear-view mirror.

"You think…?" I asked smiling slightly. Did he really feel that way about me? I'd noticed his flirting but I wasn't sure if he really meant it…

"Yeah! I think he's pretty taken with you Kayla!" Gwen said enthusiastically, "He's a good guy Kayla. You'd do well with him." She glanced at me and caught my blush.

"You like him too don't you?"

"Maybe just a bit…" I mumbled trying to concentrate on the road. Just a bit? Okay, so I lie. I bloody adored him; I mean come on, how could you not? The way he smiles, his dark eyes, his casually tousled hair…

"You're drooling…" Gwen joked.

"Am not," I said laughing.


	9. Charlie

Half an hour later I pulled up in the driveway of my house. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was good to be home. We were only in the house for ten minutes when Charlie wandered in the front door. I'd left it open so she just let herself in.

"Hey L… Kayla!" she said cheerfully sitting down at the kitchen table. Then she noticed Gwen and her face lit up.

"Hey Gwen!" she said happily, "Long time no see!"

"You two know each other?" I asked, taken a back.

"Yeah, sure we do!" Charlie said, "We went to the same primary school and her dad was friends with mine! They used to meet up and play chess."

They had a long chat about what they'd been doing since they'd last met while I made drinks. I dragged out the biscuit box and wrenched the lid off. I smiled, I'd forgotten about my mini Mars Bars. They were gonna be my emergency rations while I was chatting to the lawnmower man. He had a reputation for going on and on and on and on and on and on a bit like this. I scooped out a handful of Mars Bar and laid them on the table.

"Help yourselves," I said taking one myself. Oh how I loved Mars Bars.

"So, Kayla, what was it that you were gonna tell me?" Charlie said snatching a Mars Bar from the table and unwrapping it.

"Oh… Um. It's a bit hard to explain… I dunno where to start…"

"The beginning?" she suggested in typical Charlie style. I laughed nervously, where was the beginning of my story? Did it start on Durondalius and the Solar Globe or did it start with the Doctor appearing at my house? I looked at Gwen for help.

"Have you heard about aliens Charlie?" Gwen asked coming to my aid.

"God, yeah. I remember it was all on the news! That spaceship flying into Big Ben in London. And when those Cybermen things attacked the world, they were impossible to miss! And there's been all that weird things going on in Cardiff…"

"What would you say if I was an alien?" I said. Subtle or what?

"You? I'd say I knew that all along!" she laughed, "No seriously? Um... I'd say you were a bit mad but if you had proof…?"

"I do."

"Where?"

"Ask Gwen."

Charlie did ask Gwen. Gwen said I wasn't lying. Charlie sat and stared at me. Within half an hour the whole story had been explained thoroughly. Charlie was a good audience. She gasped and laughed in all the right places. Once I was finished she sat and looked at me for a minute.

"That's one hell of a story Kayla!" she laughed.

"Don't I know it!" I said taking another Mars Bar. Yes, I am greedy sometimes; especially when it comes to chocolate covered goodies.

We sat in silence for a moment before Charlie asked her next question.

"Can I meet them?"

"Who?"

"Torchwood and the Doctor?"

"I dunno…?" I looked at Gwen.

"Probably sometime," she said.

"Cool!" Charlie exclaimed. Then she glanced at her watch.

"Crap! I'm late!" she gasped jumping up.

"For what?"

"I gotta date!" she squealed happily bounding out of the kitchen. I followed her.

"Anyone I know?"

"Yes, you know Mitch, the Baker's boy? Yeah, him," Charlie gushed as she bounded out of the house. I followed her and waved her off as she started up her Red Nissan Micra and raced down the street.

When I went in I glanced at my clock on the wall. It was seven o' clock already. The day had passed really quickly and I was surprised. I looked out of the window and actually registered the fact that the sky was darkening and the sun was sinking lower into the horizon.

"Okay?" Gwen probed in to my silence. I nodded.

"Just tired I suppose," I said sitting down at the table.

"Well, I guess I should go too…" she said picking up her handbag, "Rhys will be waiting… And I'll actually be home on time today!"

"Rhys?"

"My fiancé," she said with a grin.

"Oh wow! Congratulations!" I said smiling and hugging her awkwardly. She grinned.

"Thanks!" she said, "Well, I best be off then. I can get the bus to the city."

"You sure? I can give you a lift if you want?"

"No, it's alright but thanks anyway," she said smiling gratefully and heading for the door. When the door shut behind her the loneliness hit me hard.


	10. Checking Up

When she was gone I suddenly noticed how empty the house felt. I was alone again. I always felt lonely after a busy day. I sighed to myself and wandered through to the bathroom to have a shower.

After I'd done that I decided to indulge in some self-pampering. I looked in the mirror for a moment before I got dressed properly. I could see my thin figure clearly. I'd always been pretty slim. It was the sort of slim that people keep saying they'd die for. I brushed my chestnut coloured hair out of my face and blow-dried it. I could smell my favourite coconut shampoo and it never failed to make me smile. I looked at my smile in the mirror next.

I have pretty straight teeth and I do my best to keep them white. I decided to brush them then. The mint toothpaste was sharp in my mouth as I scrubbed.

Next I grabbed my facial cleanser and gave my face a wipe over with that. I'd always had a little routine as far as hygiene went. If I didn't follow it through I felt weird. I pulled out my make-up box and rubbed on some foundation and then gave myself a bit of a makeover. I'd always found doing my make-up was therapeutic. I swept some black mascara on to my eyelashes and looked at my eyes in the mirror. They were just as big and green as always but there was something changed. It was almost like my eyes were older than the rest of me, maybe it was just with all the things I'd seen that day but it scared me slightly. Was that Torchwood?

I slipped on my favourite pair of jeans and a t-shirt and flopped down on the sofa in the living room. It was then that I suddenly realised how tired I was. I stifled a yawn and flicked on the television. A crying woman appeared on the screen, something had obviously happened in _Coronation Street_ again so I settled down to watch some mind-numbing drama. I noticed a box of chocolates I'd left on the coffee table and picked one at random. I smiled happily… caramel…. When the ending credits rolled across the screen I blinked and mentally shook myself awake.

Then the doorbell rang. I sighed and stood up. Was I ever going to get any peace? Not that that was what I wanted desperately.

I hurried through the hallway, tripping over a discarded book as I went. It was Owen at the door.

"Hey!" I said welcoming him inside. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a plain red t-shirt and a leather jacket.

"Hey. I was just wondering how you were?"

"Checking up on me are you?"

"Kinda, yeah. You see, at Torchwood sometimes we deal with people who take things badly. You know, put on the brave front but really they're tearing at the seams."

"So, you've come to see if I'm going bats?" I laughed.

"Yup, that about sums it up," Owen said nodding. I grinned as I led him through to the kitchen.

"You want a drink?"

"Yeah, why not."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. Please."

There was silence for a while.

"You alright Kayla?" Owen asked frowning at me slightly, concerned.

"Hmm?" I said distractedly, "Oh… Yeah."

"You sure?" he checked looking carefully at me.

"Um… Yeah. I… It's just been a tiring few day and… And I don't really want to be… Damn, this is stupid. It doesn't matter," I said dismissing my stupid thoughts and turning to fill the kettle.

"You don't want to be alone?" Owen said. I paused while holding the kettle under the tap. Slowly I turned around to look at him.

"What?"

"Just a thought…" he said sheepishly, clearly embarrassed.

"No, what you said… You were right!" I said, feeling the colour rise in my cheeks. Owen smiled and nodded knowledgably.

"You want to come back to my house?" Owen asked, "You could stay for a while until you get things sorted out." Could I? It would mean I wouldn't have to be alone and struggling to make sense of my situation and myself. Even just being in a house with someone who understood would be better than hanging around here wallowing in self-pity and confusion.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Course not!" Owen replied putting a comforting arm around me and squeezing my shoulders. It was awkward for a moment but I was grateful that he cared so much about me.

"I'll go get my overnight bag," I said, "I'll come back here to sort out what I'm gonna do tomorrow."

"Okay."


	11. Owen's Flat

**Author's Note: This is where it starts to get M rated. **

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I hurried through to my bedroom and flung open the wardrobe. I saw my red rucksack and dragged it out. I always had my overnight bag packed in case I needed it. Being a journalist I sometimes travelled around as my village often lacks stories. I opened the bag and checked everything off mentally; toothbrush; travel-sized toothpaste; my favourite coconut shower gel come soap; deodorant; clean underwear; my pink tracksuit style pyjamas; jeans and few formal black skirts for work; shirts and a casual t-shirt or two; my notebook and pen; and my book for boring hours in B+Bs. I pulled on my trainers again and shrugged on my coat.

Eventually I re-entered the kitchen and greeted Owen again.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and grabbed the keys off the table. I locked the front door while Owen unlocked his car. His car was silver and sleek; pretty cool in my opinion. My Ice-Cube was sitting carefully parked in the driveway and I ran my hand over the paintwork as I walked towards the pavement where Owen was parked.

"Nice car," I said as I got in the passenger seat repeating his words about my car. He laughed as he turned on the ignition causing the car to burst into life. He revved the engine a few times.

"Show off," I joked. He did it again just to see me roll my eyes. I laughed as Mr Cray from across the road glared out of his window at us. Owen waved cheerily at him before driving along the street.

Owen made good company on the way back to the city. I suddenly realised that I'd met him two days ago but he knew more about me than nearly anyone else. And more importantly, he actually seemed to understand. He didn't treat me with the pity that others did and that I hated. He didn't make a fuss over the fact that I didn't have any biological parents. When I'd lived in Scotland there'd been people who'd gone all mushy and "Oh Kayla honey! You must be so upset!" and I just had to smile politely and accept their ways rather than jumping up and down and shouting "Bugger off!" as I so badly wanted to. I knew they were just trying to be kind and were most likely lost for words when they heard my parents were dead. The Social Workers had done their best to keep it all quiet from the press but gossip spreads.

"What were your parents like?" I asked Owen then. He looked at me for a moment before his gaze flickered back to the road.

"What d'you want to know?" he asked. I didn't really know the answer to that. I was just curious. There must be something that meant he could understand how I felt. I didn't mean to probe. "I lived with my Mum… My Dad died when I was just a kid… The day after my sixth birthday."

"I'm sorry," I said, really meaning it.

"Yeah… You know, I've never really told anyone this before," Owen said smiling sadly.

"You don't have to tell me," I mumbled awkwardly.

"No, it's alright. It's only fair; we've poked around in your family life enough!" he said trying to lighten the mood.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It might do me some good to talk about it… I'm not in the habit of doing that."

He was like me in more ways than I'd first thought. It turned out that his dad had died in a fire too; a factory accident.

"I remember that day when I was seven. There was a thunderstorm and I was terrified! I cried but mum never came…" he said, his voice trailing off. I then learnt that his mum's boyfriend Rodger had changed his mum and they both seemed to hate him being around. Rodger had often hit him and even when his Rodger and Owen's mum split Rodger still had an effect on his life. His mum spent hours drinking. She threw Owen out on his sixteenth birthday.

"Where did you go?"

"An aunt's house," Owen shrugged. I could see a pained emotion dancing in his dark eyes. I wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him I was there for him. He smiled suddenly.

"Fancy getting a pizza on the way home?" he asked.

"Great!" I said happily. I loved pizza…

"Cool."

Later on we were in his flat sharing pizza and a bottle of wine. Owen's flat was really cool. It was pretty big and very modern. In general, I liked it.

"Want another drink?" he asked holding out the bottle of wine.

"Sure, why not?" I said cheerfully.

We sipped our wine companionably on the sofa and chattered away about all sorts of things; our favourite types of music; our favourite T.V shows, and all that stuff. He'd turned the radio on and then one of my favourite tracks started playing; _Dirty Little Secret_ by All American Rejects. I met Owen's gaze and we shared one of those little looks that only two people can share and it can't really be explained.

Then he was leaning closer to me. My heart was beating out an erratic bass line in my chest. I could smell his aftershave and it made all rational thoughts leave my head but one: "This is right…"

And boy did I want it. Our lips met and all my senses rocketed sky high and set my body tingling. This was my first kiss (yes, it's true, I've never been with a guy properly up till then. All my previous "boyfriends" had been a waste of time. More of a learning curve than anything) and I felt more alive than I'd felt in years. His tongue was exploring my mouth - running over my teeth and generally making me want more. After a few moments we broke apart and I was left looking into his brown eyes and feeling my heart melt like a block of chocolate in a microwave (trust me, I know these things).

"You sure you want this?" Owen asked quietly. I hardly paused to think before I answered. I knew what I wanted.

"Oh yeah," I breathed, "I'm sure."


	12. Nobody Told You

**Author's Note: Hello, sorry for the time it took to update. It took me a while to get this chapter right. Hope you enjoy this and thanks to reviewers as always.**

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I woke up slowly. I wasn't even all that aware I'd fallen asleep but I was awake anyway. It took my brain a second or two to catch up with the rest of me. I remembered suddenly where I was. I smiled as I felt Owen's warm body pressed against mine; his arm around my waist and my head on his chest. I smiled as the memories of last night flooded back in to my mind. The way his touch felt… The way he said my name… I felt myself shiver slightly even then.

I felt his hand tracing circles around my belly button making me giggle slightly and I knew he was awake.

"Morning," he murmured in my ear. I smiled.

"Morning, Owen," I said grinning. He ran his hand through my hair and gently massaged my temple and I sighed in pleasure. I felt so relaxed and we just lay there for a while.

"Breakfast?" he asked eventually.

"Mmm…" I said happily, "Gonna go get a wash…" He gently lifted my head onto the pillow and swung himself out of bed. I suddenly felt a strange emptiness beside me and I whimpered slightly – involuntarily. He looked at me and flashed me a dazzling smile before pulling on a pair of black tracksuit trousers.

"I'll be back, don't worry!" he said as he walked down the hallway. I slowly got out of bed. My whole body was slightly stiff but it eased off after a moment. I pulled on my jeans and t-shirt again just to wander through to the living room to get my overnight bag. I picked it up and went through to the bathroom and had a quick shower. After I pulled on my clean jeans and my purple shirt.

Ten minutes later I was back in Owen's bedroom and we were sitting eating toast and scrambled eggs on the bed. We ate in companionable silence and I savoured the food I was eating.

"So, you coming back to Torchwood today?" Owen asked after a while. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I suppose," I said after a small amount of thought. I could hardly not go to Torchwood. Where else was I meant to go?

"Great!" Owen said, clearly pleased by my decision.

"I might go home first though. You know, sort things out there," I said.

"Cool," Owen said nodding. Then he got up and after kissing me on the cheek went to get a shower. I sighed contentedly; what more could I ask for? I grinned and began gathering up all my belongings from the floor of Owen's room and put them back in my bag. Today was the start of something new for me.

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Later that afternoon I hopped off the bus in my village and began to walk down the street. I smiled as I saw how little things had changed over night. Not that I had expected them to but I thought things might look different because I felt different today. Being with Owen the night before had been a turning point in my life and the world suddenly seemed a lot kinder. There were people that care after all.

I padded up my driveway and unlocked my door. The Torchwood team and the Doctor were back at the Hub and I'd come to sort out stuff in my house. Owen had invited me to stay with him until we sort out what I was going to do about my life. I opened the door and took a step inside with my bag over my shoulder.

Just as I stepped in through the door there was a horrible blinding light that made my head spin and I suddenly felt ill. I couldn't breathe properly. I'd dropped my bag on the ground in shock and I had nothing to cling onto. What the hell was going on? Was I dying? No, that was ridiculous! Then I hit the ground.

"Hello missy," a voice said from above me. I looked was lying face first on the ground and I moaned slightly. Then a hand grabbed the back of my shirt and dragged me to my feet. My knees trembled but I remained standing.

I stared at the man in front of me. He was tall and had jet black hair. My mouth fell open. He seemed oddly familiar but I denied those thoughts. It couldn't be him. I couldn't be.

"Who are you?" I demanded furiously squaring my shoulders and staring him in the face.

"You should be more polite girly…" he drawled looking me up and down, "A pretty one like you should be careful. There are some very nasty characters about. Going around on your own? That's just careless!"

"What's it to you?" I snarled feeling the anger bubbling up inside me. I tried to control my emotions but it was hard.

"I think you could be fun!" he said smiling. It wasn't a friendly smile; it was icy and cold. And you know the way a smile lingers in the eyes? This one reached his eyes too and the venom there drilled into my body.

"What d'you mean?"

"How? You've met the Doctor. You've met Jack Harkness and his little team! Hurting you would hurt them too!" he said giving me a sinister smile that made my stomach churn.

"No!" I cried suddenly feeling panic rising in my throat. If anything happened to Torchwood and the Doctor because of me I'd never be able to forgive myself.

"Hit a nerve did I?" he said raising an eyebrow and his lips curled. I didn't say anything. He noticed my fear and latched on to it at once.

"What d'you want with me?" I whispered. My voice sounded strangled and terrified. I didn't want to sound scared. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. I didn't ask how he'd got me here. I imagined it was a teleport of some sort.

"To put it this way… I knew your parents," he said smirking. My mind went numb in a nanosecond.

"What?" I gasped.

"I knew your mother and father. I know what you are," he said watching me for a reaction.

"You… You what?" I tried to form a sentence in my head with great difficulty.

"You don't know who I am d'you? Nobody told you?" he said and his own words seemed to be hurting him.

"How?" I asked slowly, choosing the word carefully.

"Me? Kayla Jacobs, I used to work with your parents!"


	13. Looking For Stardust

**Author's Note: M rated. You've been warned. **

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He said he used to work with my parents… But that wasn't possible! No, it couldn't be!

"How?" I demanded.

"They were scientists, Kayla. I was their assistant."

"I… I thought the planet died!" I chocked weakly. I really wanted to sit down and recollect my scattered thoughts. Was he a Celluditton too? Maybe I wasn't the only one left!

"It did. But I was offshore at the time," he said as his eyes glazed over. It was like he was seeing some horror in his head; some horror that I couldn't see too.

"Imagine how I felt, Kayla Jacobs, standing on my team's ship, _Battalion_, and watched the planet burning up! I saw the Solar Globe explode. It wasn't quick, it was oh so slow and I could see every sharp detail. We were far enough away not to be instantly burned up. Our ship was designed to withstand all sorts of trauma but the Solar Globe scorched it and killed the engines. We were trapped in hyperspace… Just hanging there and watching as our home burnt up." There was a bitter reminiscent look in his eyes and I felt an odd sense of pity towards my kidnapper.

"I'm sorry…" I said trying to be kind, "But why were you offshore? What were you looking for?" I could see what "offshore" meant on Durondalius now. Offshore meant in to space…

"Stardust."

"Stardust?"

"Stardust," he confirmed, "But it's not as fairy-tale as you might think. Our Galaxy was home to millions of strange existences. There was the "Iridescent Star" as it was called on the planet. It gave off this dust. Your parents figured that dust might be the answer to our fuel problems. We needed something to power their teleport machine. So they sent me off to get some."

He was bitter. I could tell.

"There were ten of us on _Battalion_. We were all close friends but when our engines fried. Samson and Yvonne died in the explosion. The rest of us were left hovering. We were running out of oxygen and there was nothing we could do. We lasted about fifteen days but people were slowly dying all the while. I was the last one left."

"How did you survive?" I asked nervously.

"I was rescued. It was too late for the others but I was on the brink of unconsciousness and I was desperate. Then a man appeared on the ship. He said he could save me. I still don't know how he got there but he was. He gave me an oxygen tank and we set to work on repairing the engines. He had knowledge way beyond me so I just did as he said. Later on he told me his name was the Doctor. He told me I should take my ship to another planet and start my life again. I did… I found planet Earth. I found your parents again. I found you."

"It… It was you!" I gasped, horrified. I was suddenly putting two and two together like a small child in a classroom. He laughed at me; a cold, hollow laugh that scared me. I suddenly knew where I'd seen his big build, his black hair and his hollow eyes before.

"I was so angry. I found them and realised they'd carried on with their lives without me. I came to your house!" he said with a cold smirk, "And I got my revenge."  
"You…no! NO!" I cried scampering backwards and found myself in a corner. I cast around for the door desperately trying to find my escape route. He saw what I was doing.

"You've got nowhere to run Kayla Jacobs. You've got nowhere to hide. You're trapped."

Trapped. The word echoed around in my head and I felt sick and dizzy because I knew he was right.

"But why…? Why didn't mum and dad recognise you?" I asked uselessly. I was pretty sure that Mum and Dad hadn't known their killer. Were all my memories about to be changed? Was he about to tell me everything they did was all pretence to shield me from the truth?

"They did. Oh, Kayla they did," he smirked coldly.

"Then… Then why did that all happen?" I exclaimed feeling the tears of frustration welling up in my eyes.

"They didn't let on that they recognised me! They didn't want their cover blown, Kayla, you see if you'd heard and gone around saying you were alien or something, where would that have landed everyone? Especially if U.N.I.T had picked up on it!"

"U.N.I.T?" I asked, confused slightly. He ignored me and carried on.

"If they'd been found out for what they were they would have been in trouble. So they had to stay hidden even from me! Even when I found them they couldn't say anything to me in case I was an impostor or something!" he gave a deep hollow laugh then and I shivered.

"What did you do…?" I asked fearfully. He was walking towards me now and boxing me into the corner.

"After I slaughtered your family?" he said carelessly as though it was the most insignificant thing in the world. My blood froze. People say in stories that their blood boiled when they were angry but mine had plummeted below zero degrees. I was shivering helplessly. He smiled at my reaction to his words.

He was right in front of me. I could feel his hot breath on my face and my heart was performing some sort of dance in my chest.

"I met a man. He called himself the Master. He showed me how to move on. He told me of all his misfortunes. He said he used to be the Prime Minister! Harold Saxon..."

"The Master? Harold Saxon?" I whispered in confusion. Hell, I'd voted for Harold Saxon...

"He showed me a way to carry on. He showed me it was my right to feel bitter and angry. That's why I don't feel anything when I do this to you," he hissed in my ear as he drew out a small dagger. He grabbed my wrist and dragged the tip of the blade gently across my veins. I gasped and tried to pull away. I could feel the liquid dripping down my hand as he released it. It was almost like the warmth was draining from my body. It wasn't a deep gash but it was just enough to cause me a lot of pain. I didn't like blood and my mind spun slightly.

"You see, when I hurt people I don't feel anything. I don't feel bad. I only feel the power…" he hissed grabbing my other wrist. I met his gaze adamantly as he trailed the blade over my other wrist. It was a lazy movement he made with the weapon and it stung like hell but I didn't look away. I couldn't show weakness.

"Putting on a brave face are we girly?" he cooed. The way he said it made my stomach clench. I didn't answer but hell, if looks could kill he'd have been dead three times over at least.

Then he grabbed a rope and bound it to my bleeding wrists. I winced as the rope fibres scratched my cuts. I tried to pull away slightly but it was too tight and I snarled as he looped the rope through a hoop on the wall and did the same to my other wrist.


	14. Fearful

**Author's Note: Shorter chapter than usual but it gets my point across. Thanks to all reviewers.**

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"They'll come and get you!" I hissed furiously pulling against my restraints slightly, "They'll save me! Jack and the Doctor won't let you get away with this!"

"Oh really? Is that what you think? You want to bet on that?" he said smiling, "You got a mobile phone?"

He reached into my trouser pocket and took out my mobile phone without waiting for my answer. Bastard. He flicked it open and sped through my list of contacts.

"Owen Harper?" he said after a while, "He's one of the Torchwood team isn't he?"

I nodded slowly. Then he pressed call and held the phone to my ear. It rang. And rang. And rang. I felt my heart sink. Then eventually Owen answered.

"Owen 'Arper?" he said slurring his words slightly. I was instantly fearful for him.

"Owen!" I cried, "Owen, it's Kayla!"

"Kayla…? Kayla what's up?" he asked concernedly. He was still sounded groggy and confused. My parent's assistant was still watching me and holding the phone to my ear with a casual expression on his face.

"I'm… I'm," I stuttered nervously. I suddenly didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to know if he was alright more than anything. I would be fine. It was him I was worried about.

"You alright?" he asked me.

"I… I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't going to worry him with me when there was evidently something wrong with him, "What about you? What's wrong with you?"

"Tired…" he mumbled. I knew at once there was more to it than that - even if he didn't know it.

"Owen! What the hell is going on?" I pleaded urgently. Owen didn't reply. He stayed silent and didn't answer my question.

"Owen! Owen please!" I begged over the phone much to the amusement of my captor. Then a new voice came on to the phone.

"Kayla? Kayla is that you?" It was the Doctor. My heart skipped a beat ih hope.

"Yeah… It's me," I said slowly. My captor seemed to figure out the person had changed and pulled the phone away from me.

"Who is this?" he demanded. I didn't hear what the Doctor said. I just heard a rather one-sided conversation. "You remember me do you? You saved my life… Yes you. I have your little friend here…. You don't believe I would? Let's see about that…"

With that he took the phone away from his ear but didn't hang up. He laid it down on the table; the only piece of furniture in the room. He picked up a dagger and pressed the tip of it to my throat. I didn't dare move. I didn't even dare swallow.

"Talk to him girly," he hissed in my ear. You know when people tell you to talk you suddenly become lost for words? That's exactly how I felt. There were tears of pain and fear leaking from my eyes now and with one immaculate thumb my captor wiped them away with a quick swipe.

"Stop crying, kid," he said scornfully. He glared at me and when I didn't speak he threw the knife to the ground and punched me in the stomach repeatedly. I screamed in pain and the tears came thicker now. If I hadn't been chained to the wall I would have crumpled to the ground.

Then he stopped and picked up the phone again leaving me hanging limply. My knees seemed to have given way beneath me and I was just leaning on the wall for support.

"Did ya here that, Doctor? Did you hear the girly scream!" he hissed into the phone emphasising his words carefully. "You say don't hurt her? Aww… Why not?"

Then a look of confusion crossed his face. He drew the phone away from his ear and looked at it before pressing the loud speaker just in time for me to hear a familiar voice.

"This is Captain Jack Harkness on the line. Just thought I'd tell you don't hurt my team and get away with it. I'm coming in."

"Jack!" I cried out in surprise, "Jack! What's going on?" But he didn't answer. He'd hung up the phone. Jack knew I was here and he'd help me. Jack would be able to save me... I felt nearly giddy with relief.


	15. I'll Do What I Want To You

"You know…this could be fun, Kayla," my captor said smirking placing his fore finger under my chin and tilting my head up to look at him. I wasn't much shorter than him but it was just enough to make me feel about three centimetres tall. I flinched away from him and his smirk widened. Jack's voice was still ringing in my head and I wanted this man to get away from me and give me time to think. I was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

"Don't touch me," I snarled furiously.

"We'll have to wait a while before your little friend gets here… By that time my friends will be here too and then things will get much more interesting!"

"You hurt then and I'll fucking kill you!" I yelled in his face in sudden uncontrolled rage.

"We'll have to work on your obedience," he purred in my ear. I felt his hand run down my thigh and I tried to squirm away. The rush of emotions I was feeling wasn't the same as the rush I'd felt when Owen had done that same thing. I was filled with dread and panic. What was he going to do to me? There was nothing I could do to stop him; my wrists were bound to the wall so I couldn't run.

"Piss off," I spat at him surprising myself by the amount of venom I could muster into my voice.

"You don't want to be saying that to me," he said as his hand slipped down my legs. I whimpered feebly but tried not to show any fear; although I was sure he would pick up on my terror anyhow. I wasn't disguising it very well. He removed his hand and I felt a sudden wave of relief. Perhaps he'd decided against it but my heart sank again when his hand slipped up my shirt. I tensed.

Then he was unbuttoning my blood-splattered shirt slowly, oh so slowly. It was almost painful.

"Don't to this… Please!" I begged giving into my fear at last. His twisted smirk grew. He was treating me as though I was something with no feelings and had no opinions worth listening to. He treated me like dirt.

"Begging? I'm noticing a pattern here… When I killed your parents they begged for their lives and yours," he said harshly emphasising every word, "But did I give in to their pleads? N!"

I flinched away as though I'd been hit. I didn't know what to say next.

"So you'll just shut up and let me do what I want!" he snarled at me, "If you don't it will be so much worse." A stray tear trickled down my cheek and he laughed cruelly. I really hated the way he was leering at me.

"Don't…" I pleaded one last time but he ignored me and pulled out a knife cutting away my shirt and nicking my shoulder blade at the same time. He seemed pleased when I cried out. I felt so exposed and this time I felt alone. There was no pleasure in this for me this time. I suddenly badly needed Owen. He had to come… He had to save me…. But then I remembered that Owen was hurt too back at the Hub; at least he sounded hurt.

He was tracing his finger across my shoulder blade now and I felt his touch as though it was burning me. The tears were flowing freely now and I didn't know what else to do. He slapped me.

"Quit crying kid," he said harshly pressing himself against me and I tensed even more. I hated the way he made me feel so small. I hated feeling insignificant and alone. It reminded me too much of times I'd been desperate to forget.

"Please… Don't do this!" I whimpered.

"Don't do what?" he sneered in my ear. I turned my face away from him but he grabbed my face in his hands and tugged it back to face him.

"Don't…" I sobbed again.

"Don't what?" he repeated, "Don't hurt you? Don't fuck you up till you're begging me to stop? Don't kill you?"

"Don't…" was all I could manage to say. He laughed coldly.

"I'll promise you this Kayla Jacobs, I'll do what I want to you," he hissed before striking me across the jaw and making my head spin. I felt the shadows creeping into my field of vision and I knew I was losing consciousness quickly. There was a mixture of tears and sweat pouring down my face and I wanted to wipe them away but I couldn't.

"Ah… The tears of an angel…" he breathed in my ear and wiping at my eyes with his thumb. I shuddered. He was tearing my world apart and reminding me of things I loved. _Tears of An Angel_ was one of my favourite songs and the way he spoke the title made my stomach lurch violently.

"Please…" I begged helplessly. I didn't know what else to do. His lips twisted cruelly as he leaned closer to me. I could feel his breath on me as he inched closer. Then his lips were against mine and I felt the world crashing down around me. No. _No!_ This couldn't be happening! I didn't want it to happen! I sobbed weakly as his hands explored my body. It wasn't the same gentleness that Owen had. This new man didn't care if he hurt me or not; he'd already proved that. I suddenly realised that I didn't even know his name.

He pulled away and surveyed me for a moment and smirked. I looked up at him with a tearstained face and silently begged him not to touch me.

"Don't scream. Don't cry. Shut up and do what I say," was all he said to me. I couldn't do anything but nod.

Just then the lock on the door clicked open and swung open. My captor released me and turned around suspiciously. My eyes widened in shock and my heart began to race a bit faster when I saw who it was.


	16. Doomed

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update! I was at Guide camp.**

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"Nice work Verdreht… You got the girl!" the new arrival said. My captor nodded smugly. I assumed his name must be Verdreht. I stared at them both, breathing heavily and desperate to be rescued. I didn't dare speak.

"What's her name?" the new man asked.

"Jacobs, sir. Kayla Jacobs," Verdreht said, spitting my name out as though it had burned him.

"Ah… The lonely child," he breathed. I blinked, taken aback. Lonely child? Why did he call me that? "Now Kayla," he said addressing me now, "I want you to listen up."

I nodded.

"You're going to answer all my questions. You're going to give the truthful answer or it will be so much worse for you darling."

I flinched at his words but nodded again.

"Good…"

"Just tell me one thing," I demanded suddenly finding my voice, "Who the hell are you?"

"Me? Kayla, I'm the Master," he said grinning broadly at me. I stared. Who would call themselves "the Master"? That was the same as calling yourself "the Doctor" I thought with a sudden longing. Maybe he would save me! Jack said he was coming but where was he? What was taking him so long? Okay, it hadn't been long since he'd phoned and there was probably stuff he needed to do but it felt like an eternity to me. I choked back my sob and it came out as a strangled whimper.

"Now, tell me where the Doctor is," the Master said. It wasn't a question. It was a demand and I knew it.

"I… I…" I stuttered, not sure what to say. Telling would put the Doctor in the danger and I couldn't bear it if he got hurt and I was to blame. Actually, I couldn't bear it if he got hurt at all but it would be worse if it was my fault.

"Suddenly you don't know?" he sneered, "Do I have to set Verdreht on you again?"

"No!" I squeaked involuntarily. The Master chuckled.

"I could get him to hurt you…? I could get him to tear you apart…?"

"Please! No!" I begged with tears streaming down my cheeks. My neck was stiff and sore and it was becoming an effort just to stop my head from lolling on to my chest. I could see Verdreht smiling in the corner of the room.

"Scared? Aww. Bless," the Master said icily tracing a finger along the gash on my shoulder blade. I winced and pulled away. I didn't like this at all. I silently wished Jack would hurry up.

"Such a pretty child," he said smiling. Then he walked idly over to Verdreht and held out his hand expectantly. A shadow of confusion crossed Verdreht's face before he understood and handed over a knife. Then the Master swaggered back over to me and slashed open the ropes binding my wrists and cutting my arms again.

My knees gave way beneath me and I slid to the ground, weak.

"Up," the Master demanded. I struggled to obey him and he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me upwards. I gasped at the sudden shock and stumbled to my feet fighting to keep my balance.

"You're friends are coming aren't they? That's what they told you?" the Master interrogated. I nodded weakly. I was so tired.

"Harkness came on the line," Verdreht said sullenly in the corner.

"Oh he did, did he?" the Master said with a harsh smile, "Well, we'll have a surprise in store for him, wont we Missy?"

"Mmm…" I mumbled, terrified.

"But before I let Verdreht have his way with you I want to talk to you. You have things to tell me, don't you," he said. It was more a statement than a question.

"I… I… I'm not telling you anything," I said vehemently.

"Believe me, Kayla Jacobs, you will," he said icily and his tone scared me. I bit my lip nervously. I could feel dried blood on my wrists making my arms itchy and my hair was falling out of my ponytail and was getting sticky with congealed blood. There was still a warm trail dribbling down my chest. I desperately wished I could put my shirt back on and keep some of my dignity.

The Master dragged me on along a corridor for about ten minutes followed closely by Verdreht. Every so often Verdreht would push me forwards roughly even though the Master had a firm grip on my left arm and was dragging me along forcefully. It was all I could do to contain my panic and not turn and try to escape. Escape would be impossible and to try would be like asking for death.

I tried to keep my chin up and look like I wasn't as utterly terrified as I was. I was visibly trembling and as much as I hated being weak, I hated looking weak. I'd spent my childhood learning to hide my fear, hide my weakness, and hide my past and now, when I'd decided it was time to come to terms with my past, here I was being tortured by a dark figure from the shadows.

"Get a move on!" Verdreht snarled shoving me in the small of the back again. I fought the urge to turn around and smack him in the face. I could have if I was able to. Pain wouldn't have stopped me.

Then we reached a door. I faltered in my stride not knowing what was coming next. The Master tightened his grip on me and tugged me onwards. He typed in a code to a password box by the door and there was a hiss and the door began to slide sideways. I looked anxiously around. There was a chair sitting by the wall. Machines framed the room, they looked like computers of some sort – only more menacing. I flinched as the Master pulled me further in to the room and I squirmed away from him.

"Sit," he commanded pushing me towards the chair. I looked at him for a moment before deciding it would be safer just to go along with what he was saying. I stumbled towards the chair and sat down grateful at least for that simple "comfort".

Then Verdreht was beside me with a metal wire. He wound it tightly around my wrists, binding them to the arms of the wooden chair. I didn't even protest. I was too scared.

Then I saw him attach another cable to each of those around my wrists. I looked at him in panic but he just smiled. I followed the cable with my eyes and saw it enter a black control box. I tried to work out what it was but failed to come up with anything.

"You ready, Verdreht?" the Master asked and I could see the excitement dancing in his eyes. Verdreht nodded and my stomach sank lower than low. I was doomed.


	17. Nobody's Coming

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Now I'm off to practise my clarinet while I hope you enjoy this!**

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"Now, Kayla, tell me about the Doctor. Where is he?" the Master said kneeling beside me. I narrowed my eyes. I squirmed in discomfort.

"I don't know," I said, almost truthfully. Last I knew was that the Doctor was at the Torchwood Hub but he could have left there, couldn't he? I decided that I wasn't giving away anything more than was necessary.

"You don't know? Honestly?" he sneered.

"I honestly don't know," I said more firmly this time. Betray is not a thing I was an expert at and I didn't intend to betray anyone.

"Well…Verdreht? On you go…"

Verdreht chuckled softly and then I heard him click a switch and then suddenly my whole body was convulsing involuntarily. Electricity was pounding through my veins and it was scorching every inch of my body. I couldn't even scream. My hands were gripping the arms of the chair and the wires binding them were cutting into my flesh.

"Enough!" I heard the Master say from what seemed like a million miles away, "That should be enough to loosen her tongue." The shock stopped abruptly. I slumped down in the chair; all the tension in my body gone suddenly. I was panting and sweating. The world was spinning.

"Tell. Me," he snarled. I looked up at him with streaming eyes.

"No," I said, but I was weakening already. I didn't know how long I could keep this up for.

"Do you want that again Kayla?" the Master asked. I didn't answer but I adverted my eyes.

"Look at me Kayla," the Master hissed quietly. I drew my eyes away from my knees and looked into his eyes. He smirked and ran a finger across my cheek. I flinched away but I hadn't the strength to fight against him.

"Haven't you figured out? Nobody's coming, Kayla! Nobody's coming to save you!" the Master said with false pity in his voice.

"And no second chances this time," Verdreht muttered grimly. I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. Jack had to be coming. He said he was! He wouldn't lie to me, would he? I decided he wouldn't and that the Master was just trying to scare me in to believing I was going to die at his clutches.

"Kill me then," I said tauntingly. The Master smirked.

"Oh, why would I do that?" he asked, "You're _way_ too much fun that!" When he said that my mind raced frantically. What was he going to do to me?

"Tell me, girl, where is the Doctor?" Verdreht said spat. The Master nodded.

"Yes, tell us!" he snapped.

"Why?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level.

"Why? Because he and I need to have a little… chat."

"I'll never tell you," I hissed weakly.

"She's gonna be a tough one," the Master said, clearly enjoying the challenge, "Lets see what time on her own does to her."

Then Verdreht was ripping the wires from my wrists and pulling me roughly to my feet. Next thing I knew I was in a small cell. The walls were solid. There were no windows. There weren't even any bars. I was trapped and I immediatly felt claustrophobic. Verdreht came and grabbed my arm to slip a handcuff onto me. I was then chained, yet again, to the wall. This place was clearly designed to have loops on the wall to keep prisoners.

"Think about my question," the Master said with a faint smile and I kept my resolute glare on my face until he'd shut the door. I heard the sound of the door locking and then my tears began to flow. I felt more alone than I had ever done before. I hated being alone. With loneliness came dark feelings. I didn't want to go back to those shadowy places.

I crumpled to the ground with tears streaming from my eyes and leaving trails on my face. I had no shame in admitting my feelings to myself but I hated the fact that I was crying. The Master could be watching me and vulnerability was something he was bound to notice.

My fear was absolute. I was plummeting into a terrifying pit of darkness and I wasn't going to be able to find a way out. I was too scared to shut my eyes for fear of the demons I would relive but I was also scared to keep my eyes open because of what I might find. There were shadows mocking me wherever I looked. But I guess I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke with a start when the metal door slammed open and I heard shouting. My eyes flickered open and I cast around frantically.

Pushing myself up into a sitting position I saw the commotion by the door. Two men were apprehending Jack Harkness; three guesses whom - Verdreht and the Master of course. Jack seemed only vaguely aware of his surroundings and wasn't putting up much of a fight. I cried out and struggled forwards to help but pain shot through my shoulder from as it jarred because I'd forgotten the handcuff.

They cast Jack to the ground beside me and he snarled in irritation as he hit the ground but didn't really react in the way he usually would - hitting the bastard straight back.

Then the door was shut. I'd almost been expecting the Master to say something to me but he didn't. I dragged myself towards

"Jack?" I whispered, scared for him, "Jack… What happened?"

"I… Kayla?" he said, his eyes widening in recognition, "Oh, Kayla thank God!"

Then he looked at me properly; dried blood on my chest, gashes on my wrists, my missing shirt, and my tear streaked face. I bit back a sob as I saw the worry cross his face. I didn't want him to be worried about me! I just wanted to go home!

"Kayla… What did they do to you?" he asked carefully, reaching out, slightly lethargically, to pull me against him. I obliged and, trembling, I leaned in and my defences crashed down around my ears. I felt slightly more safe against him… I could hear the beating of his heart and I knew he was alive. He felt things; he wasn't a machine, or a monster. He was a friend. Friend… the word echoed slightly in my head. It was such a simple word yet it carried so much weight. It meant so much.

"Why is this happening?" I muttered into his chest.

"Because someone has a grudge," Jack replied darkly, his words slurring slightly.

"You alright?" I asked looking up in to his pale blue eyes. He met my gaze for a moment before looking away, clearly ashamed.

"I'm fine… Yeah. But you aren't, are you? I could have been more careful. I could have saved you in time!" he punished himself and my eyes widened slightly.

"It's not your fault! What they did to me, they would have done that anyway!" I said to him, hating how upset he looked.

"No, Kayla, I was here half an hour ago!" he said taking my hand in his, "But I got caught."

"Caught?"all sorts of traps. Little things like "light-switches" that aren't actually

"Well… Gassed. They've set the place up with light-switches. I tried to turn one on and… Well... next thing I knew I was out for the count."

"But you're here now, right?" I said snuggling closer to him. He put an arm around me comfortingly

"Yeah," he said. Then he gently pushed me away and took off his coat and offered it to me. I thanked him with a weak smile and felt exhaustion take over my weary body. I collapsed against him again and shut my eyes. Before I knew it, darkness had claimed me as its own.


	18. You Didn't Have To Do That

**Author's Note: I'm so, so, sorry in advance. Please don't eat me. If I were you I'd hunt me down... **

* * *

I was rudely awakened when someone hit me in the face.

"You didn't have to do that!" I heard Jack snarl heatedly beside me and my heart sank. I was still trapped in hell; it wasn't all a bad dream. None of the bad things ever were a bad dream, not in my life. I forced my eyes open and felt Jack's hand in mine. He wouldn't let them hurt me again, would he?

"Sleeping on the job, Kayla?" the Master drawled. He was here on his own this time. I remained silent. I didn't know what he was going to do to me next so I had to be careful. He swaggered forwards and unlocked the handcuff around my wrist to let me move.

"Get dressed," he said firmly throwing me a clean white t-shirt. I obediently pulled it on after taking of Jack's greatcoat. I wasn't sure if this was some sort of game they were playing to try and gain my trust. If it was, it wasn't exactly working.

"Have you thought about my question?" he asked with a smirk. I stared at him. I'd made my decision already and he knew what my answer was going to be.

"I'm not telling you anything!" I snarled. Jack squeezed my hand as a sort of warning. I glanced at him but then looked straight back at the Master with a resolute glare. I wasn't going to let him win.

"I'm not telling you anything," I repeated firmly.

"You don't want any injury I might cause him on your conscience do you?" he sneered, "Well who'd have thought that _not_ telling me would cause someone's death?"

My blood turned to ice. My heart raced in terror. I looked at Jack in fear. "No!" I pleaded. Then the Master had a gun in his hand and it was aimed at Jack's forehead.

"Restrain him!" the Master shouted. Then the horribly familiar face of Verdreht appeared in the doorway and slunk over to Jack and I. I felt Jack tense beside me and he let go of my hand. I was thrown aside by Verdreht. He was stronger than me and clearly stronger than Jack as he held him back without too much difficultly.

Jack struggled and swore at his captor but Verdreht didn't move from his position behind the Captain. He held his arms and secured the pair of handcuffs behind his back. Verdreht then attached them to the hoop on the wall. He was trapped, just like I had been. There was nowhere for him to go.

I scrambled to my feet and tried to run and help but Verdreht kicked me aside like a naughty puppy as he walked back towards the Master. I gasped, clutching my chest where I'd been hit.

"Don't hurt her!" Jack yelled furiously tugging on his restraints. The Master walked casually towards me and sat down on the ground on his knees and put an arm around me.

"Kayla, I want you to watch this. She if this'll loosen your tongue," he sneered in my ear taking my head in his left hand and turning it to face Jack. He kept a tight grip on my with his right arm. "On you go, Verdreht. I think you know what comes next?"

I knew too. I knew the moment I saw the knife in Verdreht's hand. I knew then that it was some sort of sick memory game. This was going to be a reconstruction of my childhood… This wasn't something I wanted to see. At that moment I did the only rational thing I could think of; I cried. I tried to get to Jack and help him but there was nothing I could do.

Verdreht was now standing in front of Jack with a cold smile on his face. I could tell at once that he loved having this degree of power over someone. Jack met his gaze with a glower but I could see the terror hidden in his expression. He knew what was coming.

I screamed when I saw the knife glinting menacingly as it was brought down. It came down again.

"No!"

And again.

"No! Please stop! Please!"

And again.

"Don't do this! _No_!"

And again.

"P… P… _Please_!"

And again.

I heard Jack's cries of pain no matter how he tried to block them. I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted to shut out the sound; tearing flesh, tortured gasps, manic laughter but I couldn't. Every time I tried to look away the Master would drag my head back and if I shut my eyes he would slap me hard until I looked again.

I hardly noticed when it had all stopped. I was in shock. I'd heard myself screaming but it seemed like someone else. It felt like all this was happening to someone else. It was too horrible to be real but too vivid to be a nightmare. I felt everything too much for it to be in my head. It was real…

The Master released me and I collapsed to the ground at once. I scrambled over to Jack. He was slumped on the ground with a look of agony on his face.

"Jack!" I sobbed hysterically.

"K… K…" he tried to say but couldn't get the words out.

"Don't Jack! I need you! Please!" I begged taking his hand in mine. Then I decided I had to try and help him. I tried to put pressure on the bleeding with my hands; my stomach was contracting horrible. I'd never been good with blood but now wasn't the time to be squeamish.

"Let… me… go," he stuttered, gasping for breath. I stared at him, confused.

"_No_!" I said firmly, "I can't let you die! I won't let you die!" I said. I could see he'd given up the struggle but I couldn't let him die. There were so many stab wounds that I couldn't keep pressure on them all. There was blood seeping through my fingers and I couldn't do anything to stem it.

Then I noticed the gash across his neck and my world contorted violently. I fought the urge to run and throw up. I had to stay strong for Jack. He needed me. Then the light left his pale but warm eyes. My heart rocketed into my throat, choking me.. He was gone! But he couldn't be! It wasn't right! Suddenly remembering my CPR training I'd had as a journalist, I lowered him to the ground and tilted his head back, opening his mouth carefully. Dammit, I'd never done CPR on a real person before. But he was dead! There was no point! But he's _not_ dead! There was a persistent voice in my head telling me he wasn't dead and that if I could only make this work he'd be safe. Then I locked my hands one on top of the other and pressed down on his chest praying silently that this would work. I had to work! It had to!

Then there were arms around me, pulling me away. I struggled and protested but I was over-powered. "Let go of me! Let go!" I yelled furiously, tears still gushing down my face, "You _bastard_!"

Verdreht gave me a satisfied smile and threw me out of the room. The Master locked the door behind us and looked at me with pity.

"Aw… An orphan in the storm," he said coolly pulling me to my feet. There was blood everywhere; on my clothes, my hands, on Verdreht, on the knife he was still holding, and there was blood in my mind's eye. I could see Jack every time I shut my eyes. It was the same as the day I'd lost my parents. I could see Mum on the ground every time I blinked.

"Changed your mind?" the Master asked me with raised eyebrows. I sobbed madly. There was nothing I could do to stop him. I had no choice but to tell him.

"Tell. Me. Where. The. Doctor. Is," he hissed pronouncing each word with venom. I didn't even flinch. I didn't have enough capacity in my body for any more fear, for any more pain.

I opened my mouth to tell him when I heard a strange whirring noise. It sounded almost like a train. I didn't recognise it and I was sure it was something else that was going to hurt me. I cowered on the ground waiting for something to explode in pain… but nothing happened. I looked around frantically.

Sitting in the corner of the room was a blue police box. That hadn't been there before, I thought stupidly. I stared at it in confusion. The Master seemed to be quite excited about it. He was walking towards it slowly and carefully breathing heavily. Then the door opened slowly and my breath quickened in anticipation; it was the Doctor.


	19. Very Lord Of The Rings

I wanted to get up and throw my arms around him and be told that everything would be all right; but of course, I couldn't. That would just be stupid. The Doctor's eyes locked on mine and I saw them register horror and the horrible realisation of what had happened to me. He looked back at the Master composing his face in to a frown.

"You… You died," the Doctor said with bitterness that I'd never seen in him, "I saw you die!" The Master raised an eyebrow.

"I came back," he said with a smirk as though he were talking to a particullarly stupid six year old child. The Doctor looked him up and down.

"You still look the same," he said icily, "You didn't regenerate."

"No, I didn't."

"How did you do it?" the Doctor demanded. The Master smirked and drew out a ring from his pocket.

"I hid…" he said holding out the small golden ring, "I hid in this. I had it all planned out. I did, of course, consider that you might find away to overpower me. And so I had an escape! One that you would never guess!"

"You hid in that ring?" the Doctor said incredulously.

"You hid in a ring?" I said repeated, "Oh very _Lord Of The Rings_!"

That earned me a smack in the face. I winced as my face stung madly but I was still glad I'd made myself heard. It only added to the agony torturing my body but it had obviously pissed him off enough to hit me. The Doctor started forward to help me but the he hesitated when the Master gave a false cough of warning.

"Yes, I told Lucy to shoot me if you tried to take me!" he said, "How could I spend my life imprisoned with you?"

"How did you do it?" the Doctor wanted to know.

"I placed my mind and soul in that ring. Then someone smashed it and I was free."

"Who smashed it?" the Doctor demanded. I could tell he really wanted to get answers.

"I did," Verdreht said with a smile as he walked out of the shadows. It was clear the Doctor was about to ask who the man was but he didn't get a chance. The Master was speaking again.

"And I was free; my body restored!"

"How?" the Doctor asked and I could tell he was struggling to see the logic in the situation.

"Secret," the Master said tapping the side of his nose annoyingly, "Now, on with matters of more importance! Put them in the cells."

I tried to fight back but my attempts were feeble. I hadn't any strength left. The Doctor tried to run back to his blue box but before he could he was sprawled on the ground clutching his head. I stared in horror.

"Like my new toy?" the Master drawled holding up a device that looked a lot like the Doctor's whirring device. The Doctor winced as Verdreht dragged him forcefully to his feet. "New setting…"

The Master had his arm around my waist and he pushed me back into the room I'd just left; the room where Jack was lying dead.

Then the Doctor forced in after me. I saw Verdreht reach inside the Doctor's coat and confiscate the whirring device thing and I suddenly felt even more trapped. The Doctor tried to snatch it back but was pushed away by Verdreht. The door was closed on us with a sickening bang. I turned around slowly, dreading what I'd see, to face Jack. As I'd expected, he was still motionless on the ground.

Suddenly my vision blurred and I was losing it. The Doctor grabbed me just as I fell and lowered me to the ground. I was crying and I scowled; why did I have to cry? I didn't want to, I thought for the thousandth time.

The Doctor made his way steadily over to Jack and knelt down by the Captain's side. I wiped my eyes fiercely and went to join him.

"How long's he been dead?" the Doctor asked without looking at me.

"About fifteen minutes," I said hesitantly. "It happened just before you arrived…"

"He should be back by now!" the Doctor said urgently with a worried frown, "It's not meant to happen like this!"

"What? Doctor… He's… He's dead!" I said with a tremble in my voice. Had the Doctor gone into some sort of shock or something? I wasn't used to dealing with shock. Sure, I was a journalist and sometimes you met people who were distraught over things but I'd never met a person in shock. My village never had anything like that.

"Yes, yes I know! But Jack's not like other people!" the Doctor said, "He can't be dead!" He sounded so frightened and confused and it scared me.

"But… But…" I began but gave up. I didn't even know what I was trying to say.

The Doctor wiped a finger across a trickle of still-wet blood on Jack's throat and held it to his face. He flicked his tongue across it and I grimaced in disgust.

"Poison," he concluded.

"What?" I said, confused.

"He's been poisoned. There's something in his blood that's keeping him dead," the Doctor said agitatedly wiping his finger on his trousers.

"He… He was stabbed though?" I said questioningly. I wasn't understanding what he was trying to say to me. How could there be a poison that kept people dead? It wasn't as though Jack would have been alright should he not have been poisoned.

"Yes, I can see that. But if there was something on the knife…" he said thinking.

"What did you mean, "keeping him dead"?" I asked.

"Jack… He can do this thing. Like a regeneration. He can't die. Or more he won't stay dead for long before he comes back to life," he explained in a rush. I felt my eyes widen but I knew enough not to question further. There would be time to get answers later – if we got out alive that was.


	20. Believing In God

It was a good half an hour before the Master returned for us. The Doctor had been looking at my wounds but there wasn't much he could do for me stuck in a cell. There wasn't anything we could do for Jack right now either. I felt my heart gripped by an invisible vice when the door opened once more.

"Kayla! Kayla, Kayla, Kayla!" the Master sang cheerfully as he practically skipped into the room, "You never told me!"

"Told you what?" I asked, hating the waver in my voice.

"That you're a Celluditton!" he said emphasising the name of my race, "Just like Verdreht!" It was only then I realised. I wasn't the only Celluditton left! Verdreht was one too! Some comfort that was, I thought sarcastically.

"Yeah…" I mumbled.

"How do you stay hidden?" a harsh snarl came from nearby. Speak of the devil; it was none other than Verdreht. Hurrah. Forgive me for not wanting to see him.

"How…?" I mumbled.

"Yeah, that's what I said!" Verdreht hissed at me, "I've been switching from species to species all my life and then you, you seem not to be affected by the Master's touch!"

"He's not human?" I asked looking at the Master.

"Of course I'm not human!" the Master sneered.

"He's a Time Lord," the Doctor whispered in my ear. Oh. Okay then.

"So, how do you do it?" Verdreht asked me coming right up to me and pressing me against the wall.

"Tell him Kayla," the Doctor said firmly. I gently lifted the chain around my neck, suddenly marvelling at how the Master or Verdreht had never noticed it before.

"Well what is it?"

"A pendant…" I muttered, "It stops me changing…"

"You're not holding anything!" Verdreht snapped. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was right up agaisnt me now and shaking with fury.

"I am! Look!" I said shaking the chain as proof. Was he blind as well as stupid? Actually, don't answer that question.

"Stop. Playing. Games," he snarled taking a fistful of hair in his grip and forcing my head back.

"I'm not!"

"Take it off Kayla," the Doctor commanded. I did as I was told with trembling hands.

"Now I see it!" Verdreht said icily taking hold of the pendant and pulling it from my grasp. It would have been stupid of me to protest. I did smile slightly. Owen and Tosh must have made the chain invisible when it's being worn… I suddenly felt chocked by longing to see Owen and Tosh again.

"And why didn't you tell me before?" Verdreht yelled visciously.

"You didn't ask!" I yelled back forcefully. That stumped him; he'd been expecting me to cower but I'd had enough of that. As a result, he punched me in the stomach again. I cried out in pain as I crumpled slightly.

"We're the only ones left Kayla," Verdreht hissed. I knew that but still, him and I being the only ones left? Okay, think about it for a minute. You know when you're a little kid and people say "Say so-and-so was the last guy on the planet, would you have "It" with him to repopulate and save your species?" The answer: no. Not after everything Verdreht had done to me.

"As are you and I," the Master said indicating the Doctor.

"What is this, some kind of sick joke?" I demanded furiously, losing control quickly.

"No Kayla, this is all very, very real," the Master said. Then he looked at Jack, "You figured out what's wrong with him yet?"

The Doctor nodded, "Feridian Poison. From the planet of the Feridians. It's a potion to keep the dead ones dead. It was designed during the time when the dead ones got possessed by wandering demons. "

"Very good!" the Master patronised, "And I could do the same to little Kayla here! Make her permanently dead!"

"No!" the Doctor snarled furiously taking my arm. Now, without my pendant I felt the double beat in my chest again and I fought urgently to keep my vision in focus. Realising this, the Doctor abruptly let go of me.

"But now I have what I want from Kayla… And from Verdreht for that matter! I could dispose of the pair of them now!"

"But Master! You promised-," Verdreht began.

"Promises mean nothing in a world of lies!" the Master spat drawing a gun. I froze in terror. Would he shoot me? Would he? Really? My heart was racing frantically.

"If you shoot me-," Verdreht tried to threaten but I knew it was never going to work. The Master wouldn't listen. He just didn't listen to pleading. He was an uncompassionate

"If I shoot you, nobody will care!" the Master said smugly. Then Verdreht drew the Doctor's whirring device.

"Ah… A sonic screwdriver! I mean, come on Verdreht! If you're gonna put up a fight at least do it properly!"

Then Verdreht threw the whirring-device-I-now-knew-as-a-sonic-screwdriver to the Doctor. The Master raised an eyebrow and pulled the trigger on the gun.

"Run!" the Doctor hissed to me in the confusion of the gunshot, pressing a key in to my hand, then he whispered, "Go to the TARDIS… My blue box."

"What about you?" I asked, "And Jack?"

"I'll sort it out. Just go!" he said pushing me forwards. I blundered onwards; the Master was too busy being forced to the ground by a dying Verdreht. The thug was bleeding from his stomach but he was dying and seemed to be trying with all his might to take the Master with him.

I flew along the corridor; my body screaming in protest and my mind reeling but I ignored them. Then I reached the TARDIS. I fumbled with the lock for a moment, missing the keyhole several times before I was able to open the door.

"Emergency Protocol: One! Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!" a metallic voice sang out from a speaker on the wall of the room. My heart skipped a beat as I flung open the door. The Master had obviously sent his ship into lockdown.

Just as I was stepping into the TARDIS I felt something slam into my leg. I was thrust forward on the floor. I cried out in pain and grabbed the door handle as I fell, shutting myself in. I was safe.

The world was starting to go blurry. I was confused and scared but I struggled to focus on my leg. There was a dart sticking out of it and I whimpered. I didn't like needles… I tried to keep my self-control as I wrenched it out of my leg. I couldn't decide it I was dying or not. At least I'd gotten to safety, I tried to comfort myself; but if I died now what was the good? I tried to tell myself I wasn't dying but as my world began to crumple from the edges in I began to feel even more scared.

What happened when you died? What was there after death? Was there just eternity of blackness and a cloud of darkness? What if there was a God? I'd believed in God but right then I suddenly realised; what if Celludittons didn't have a God? I felt my stomach clench. There had to be a heaven! There just had to be! There had to be something more!

I suddenly felt so alone and I didn't want to die by myself. I wanted to die in the arms of the one I loved. I wanted to die holding the person who loved me. I needed to see his face and hear his laugh.

Terror stabbed at me like a knife and I wasn't surprised at how fast my little heart was beating. I felt chocked and I couldn't breathe properly. I couldn't see past my wall of fear. I felt ridiculously hot and I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. I must have lost a lot of blood, considering the various cuts scattered across my wrists and throat. Then again maybe it just looked worse because I had Jack's blood on me too.

I cried out in surprise as the machine began to move. There was a pulsating motion in the centre column and I was completely clueless as to what to do. That didn't really matter anyway because within a minute everything was black.


	21. Not Being Able To Breathe

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews and sorry it's taken so long to update. The Internets been going mad and I've been... busy. And just another message, thanks the RRA. You know what for and I really appreciate it. I really do. Thanks.**

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_"Dad!" I exclaimed excitedly. I wanted to hug him and I tried to sit up. I couldn't, "Dad? Dad I can't move? Why can't I move?" I was getting frantic. I tried to make my limbs move but I couldn't. They stayed resolutely still._

_"I'm sorry Kayla…" Dad said. Then he started to fade away._

_"N! Dad! Don't go!" I pleaded desperately, "Don't leave me here!"_

_But he was gone…only to be replaced by the sneering face of the Master. I screamed and tried to run but once again, I couldn't move. He pulled out a dagger and raised it above his head._

_"Kayla!"_

_"Kayla!"_

"Kayla!"

I was awake again. At once I tried to sit up but the motion made me feel faint. I waited impatiently for my eyes to clear and when they did I saw someone I'd never been gladder to see.

"Owen!" I whimpered ignoring my queasiness and throwing my aching arms around him.

"Hey, it's alright! You're safe!" he said comfortingly pressing me tightly against him. I wasn't crying anymore; I was too glad to be back with Owen. He didn't have to tell me I was safe for I already knew.

"It… It was horrible Owen!" I whispered "J… Jack! He… He…"

"He's dead?" Owen said calmly. How could he say that so calmly? Did he think Jack was immortal too? Seriously?

"Yeah," I mumbled burying my head in his shoulder.

"But he'll be back to life soon enough! He didn't tell you but-," Owen began.

"No, it's different this time," I said slowly. I was trying to fight off the clammy feeling all over my body. I explained everything that had happened as he lifted me up in his arms. He carried my limp and unresisting body out of the TARDIS and into the Torchwood Hub. I didn't even have the capacity to feel amazed as to how I'd gotten there.

Owen listened quietly, occasionally asking questions to help me along with the story and not scorning me for being scared and for that I was glad. He took me down to the Med Bay. On the way we passed Ianto and I saw the young man's eyes widen in shock. I knew I must have looked a mess.

"Just leave us for a minute, Ianto," Owen said firmly. Ianto nodded understandingly and hurried off. I noticed the bags under Owen's eyes then and immediately felt concerned.

"You alright?" I asked after I finished my story, "What happened when I phoned?"

"Oh… Someone had spiked our drinks. Sleeping draft…" he muttered darkly, "I'm guessing it was the same bastard that kidnapped you."

"I'm sorry, Owen," I mumbled.

"It's not your fault!" he said comfortingly, "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"I shouldn't have got caught…" I said sheepishly. Owen laughed softly.

"Happens to the best of us," he said, "In this job anyway, and believe me, it wasn't in the job description!" I smiled too. It felt weird to smile again after what felt like an eternity. I gave a nervous laugh but it jarred in my throat and I couldn't quite do it.

"What time is it?" I asked then.

"Nearly three in the morning," he said quietly.

"And you're still up…?" I said in disbelief trying to ignore how tight my chest was feeling now.

"Yep."

"Because... Because of me?" I asked.

"Because of you," he confirmed pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. My heart fluttered a little in my chest despite my pain. I felt tears pressing themselves upon me but I couldn't quite let them come. I didn't want to cry again.

We reached the Med Bay and by this point I was struggling for breath and couldn't hold it together any longer.

"O… Owen… I… can't… b… breathe," I gasped in panic clutching his hand tighter as he laid me down on the bed in the Med Bay.

"Kayla?" Owen said, his eyes widening in confusion. I felt ridiculously hot and I could get enough oxygen into my lungs to keep my thoughts making sense; instead everything in my head was disjoined and confused. I was gonna die... I tried desperatly not to think of that... But everything was spinning... Everything was blurring...


	22. Going Into Shock

**Author's Note: Thanks again for all the reviews, Lady Clark, Mfreak, Mira and Cee-G. THANKS!! And sorry if you don't like cliffies...I do! Ha!**

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"Kayla look at me," Owen insisted. I tried but everything was beginning to look far too bright and it was hurting my head to keep my eyes open. Owen gently but firmly lifted my eyelids and looked at my eyes before frowning slightly.

"Kayla, honey, relax," Owen said firmly before calling, "Ianto!"

"I… I…" I stuttered.

"Don't try and talk," he said, "Just… Ianto, come here! I think she's going in to anaphylactic shock. Reacting to something. Just do what I say. Talk to her, please." Ianto had just trotted down the stairs and, his face creased with worry, he sat down beside me and put an arm around me. Suddenly I felt claustrophobic and pushed him away. I needed space. My chest felt ridiculously tight and I couldn't think why. Nothing like this had happened to me before so I didn't know how to react.

Owen came running back over with a needle. I felt my head spin as I gasped for air. I hated needles, I really did. I shut my eyes tightly and felt tears streaming down my face.

"I'm just giving you a dose of adrenaline, Kayla," Owen said comfortingly, "It'll help and in a minute this will all be over. See you won't feel anything! Trust me. There we go… Done!" I felt his hand move away from my arm and I dared to open my eyes. My breath was still coming in strangled gasps but it was getting easier. Owen sat down beside me and rubbed my back gently trying to get me to relax while Ianto stood awkwardly beside me. I tried to ignore my sudden claustrophobia and let him touch me.

"Ianto, water," Owen commanded and the other man nodded and hurried to carryout the order. I felt things slipping away from me even as my breathing eased gradually.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled sheepishly. I felt so stupid. I'd only known him a few days and I was already a regular patient.

"Hey, listen! It's not your fault!" he said hugging me gently, "I told you already!"

"What happened…?" I asked. Ianto returned and handed me a glass of water and I tried to hold it but my hands were trembling too violently to keep a firm grip on it.

"I think you were allergic to something, did you get injected with anything when you were caught? Oh yeah, you said you were shot with a dart as you were leaving?"

I nodded and he wiped my tears away with his thumb.

"I'm guessing that's what it was then," Owen said placing a hand on my forehead again, and he looked a bit puzzled, "You're temperature should be dropping now…"

"Mmm…" I said in non-committing mumble; I didn't feel any cooler; I felt dizzy and I was seriously struggling to keep a clear view of things. I was still feeling scared.

"Let's have a look at those cuts then," Owen said to me, "Ianto, we'll be alright now."

"Mmm…" I mumbled again not quite sure what to say. I just wanted to sleep... I just wanted to shut my eyes fly away from my pain.

"Right, you mind slipping off your shirt?" Owen asked. I looked up at him with a small smirk.

"Sure it's just my injuries you want to see?" I asked with a small laugh; even laughing hurt my chest. To be honest, I was surprised I managed to laugh at all. Owen grinned and helped me take my shirt off. I didn't really feel embarrassed because I knew I could trust him and I'd gone past caring. It felt good to be able to trust someone; it felt like a long time since I'd been able to. I pretended not to see how horrified he looked when he saw the gashes lacing my shoulders. I didn't want to look myself. I didn't like blood; sure I could deal with it but I hated seeing it.

"I'll be able to sort this out," Owen said confidently.

"Really?"

"Yup." I felt something cold, soft and damp trailing gently across my shoulder blades and I bit my lip to stop myself crying out. It stung but it felt good on my skin.

"Just cleaning you up a bit," Owen said quietly reassuring me all the while. He certainly was good at his job and I was glad it was him that was the doctor, anyone else and I would have felt self-conscious about the way he was touching me.

"It's not that deep…" Owen muttered and I suddenly felt a wave of relief wash over me. That probably meant I wasn't going to die in the immediate future. That was until I felt pain clutching my brain and it felt like every inch of my body was on fire. I screamed, terrified, and clutched at Owen's hand desperately. Something told me that what ever he'd thought had happened to me hadn't quite finished.

"Hey, what's wrong? What is it?" he asked sounding scared. I crumpled down on the bed clutching my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick but there wasn't much in my stomach to throw up; I hadn't eaten in nearly a whole day. I heard Ianto's voice saying something but my head was too confused to make out what it was. I heard Owen make a vague, worried response but I didn't hear that either.

I was in agony and I didn't know why. I wanted to be free. I wanted not to feel. I wanted to be able to escape from my personal hell. I wanted to… I wanted to… I wanted… I… I…


	23. Floating

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews; it really means a lot. Here's the next chapter and for lack of a better word, enjoy.**

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_Then I started hearing the voices in my head. Their voices ripped at my heart and I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to tell them not to be scared. They were talking about someone who seemed to be really ill. They thought she was going to die. I wanted to hold the voices close and hug them and tell them it would all be okay. The girl wasn't going to die!_

_"I… I can't lose her! I can't!" I heard the first voice say. There was a tremble in his voice that I didn't like. Maybe if he were with me he wouldn't be so scared; if I could just reach out to him and take his hand it would all be okay!_

_"You won't lose her! She's survived till now and she's a fighter, don't give up. Just finish the tests and then we'll figure out what to do." I heard a second voice say. I was proud of the second voice. He was giving the second one hope! He was telling him not to give up on the girl._

_Then there was silence. It was strange... A sort of hollow silence. _

_"She… She's been poisoned!" I heard the first voice say despairingly some time later, "It's terminal and there's not much I can do! It's… It's a slow acting poison and… and it's gonna eat her vital organs… and… and…" I heard the first voice tail off miserably. It wasn't right for him to be that scared. The girl would be fine if the other voice said she was a fighter!_

_"I'll get the others…" the second voice said with a despairing note. What others, I wondered? Were they people that could help the girl? Would they be able to tell the first voice not to be scared because she would be fine? I hoped they would. People didn't deserve to be upset._

_Then the first voice was speaking to the girl and I wanted to make her wake up, couldn't she understand she was upsetting him?_

_"Please… Please baby, don't go… Don't… I… I," I heard the falter in his voice and I could tell this was going to be a big thing for him, "I love you! Don't leave me! I know I've… I've only known you a few days but I love you! I really do! I've… I've never met anyone else like you before… anyone else who understood… what it was like when I was a kid… and… and then I met you! Please! I became a doctor to help people! If… If I lose you then… then it's all been for… for nothing!"_

_He was sobbing. I could hear it. The voice was losing control and he needed help. I figured he'd been faced with a situation he didn't know how to deal with and didn't know how to work out. I wanted to help but how could I?_

_"How is she? Oh God!" I heard a third, female voice gasp._

_"She… She… I don't know what to do!" the first voice cried desperately._

_"Calm down! We can sort this out! Ianto told me what happened on the way down here," the female voice said. Ianto? I knew that name from somewhere… I'm sure I did. I couldn't remember though. " Have you tried a blood transfusion?" the female voice carried on. There was a worried edge to her voice that I didn't like but at least she was giving orders and trying to organise the situation._

_"No…" the first voice said, "It's a poison that doesn't travel by bloodstream… It's in the nervous system and it's… It's…"_

_"Eating her organs through nervous impulses," the second voice finished solemnly._

_"We'll think of a way to save her," the female voice said uncertainly. Then another female voice was added to the group. I really wished I could see them; it would make things so much easier. But why was I hearing their conversation anyway? What did it have to do with me?_

_"We could try shocking her."_

_"What d'you mean?" the first voice said, "Like electric shock?"_

_"Yes, it'll travel down her nervous system and with any luck it might kill off the poison."_

_"Tosh, you're a genius!" the first voice said._

_"Will it hurt her?" the second man asked. He sounded terrified. There was silence for a moment._

_"Dunno__," the voice seemingly called Tosh said carefully. Surely they wouldn't give up on the plan just because it would hurt the girl? They couldn't be that stupid! She could live!_

_"Yeah..." the first voice said as firmly as he could but there was still that tremble of fear, "I…I'll do it."_

_"You sure?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Owen, you don't have to…"_

_OWEN! I recognised the name at once from somewhere. I was beginning to feel confused. I knew that name but I couldn't quite place him. Owen…? I so badly wanted to remember but my mind felt so fuzzy that I couldn't reach anywhere in to the depth of memory; it was like there was some sort of blockage in my head. Oh well…it probably didn't make much difference. I was happy where I was anyway._

_"Kayla…I'm sorry," the voice called Owen said quietly and he squeezed my hand. Wait, my hand? When did that happen? Why was he apologising. It was almost a minute before felt two cold things pressing down on my chest and I started to panic. What was going on? I heard "Owen" say something to the others and then I felt it. The sudden flair of energy rocketing through every atom of my assistance and pulling my mind back from the realms of dark it was dwelling in. _

_Every memory was suddenly at my fingertips. I suddenly realised – I was Kayla. Owen, Ianto, and Tosh were worried about me. They thought I was going to die! It was my body poison was destroying and it was me that was going to die. It was me that Owen loved… me. I was suddenly falling… and falling… and falling. I was tumbling through the darkness and there was no way to stop myself. There was nothing to hold on to here… Then I slammed into something solid and I was no longer floating or falling…_

"Owen!" I cried out in terror as I threw open my eyes.


	24. Good To Be Back

**Author's Note: Many thanks to reviewers. Hope you enjoy this...**

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"Kayla! Oh God, Kayla!" Owen sobbed taking my hand in his. I tried to fend of the tears as I saw how wet his eyes were now, "I… I thought I'd lost you!" he babbled frantically.

"Nah, you're not getting rid of me that easily!" I said, trying to make him smile. I struggled into a sitting position and put my arms around him, pulling him closer.

"I…" Owen began but then changed his mind, "Good to have you back."

"Good to be back," I said smiling. He pressed his lips to mine gently and I suddenly understood what it was to be loved by someone. I'd never wanted anyone more than I wanted him right then.

"Um… Owen?" Tosh probed. Owen broke away, startled. He wrapped a blanket around me in an attempt to look like he was doing his job proffesionally. I wasn't so sure kissing the patients was complying with the rules.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," he said looking flustered, "I…yeah. I'll look after her from here. Thanks guys."

"No problem," Ianto said softly.

How you feeling Kayla?" Tosh asked looking at me with concern in her dark eyes. I shrugged.

"Honestly? Crap. But I'll cope. I always do. Somehow," I said sadly.

"Well, if you need anything…" Tosh said smiling warmly before heading out of the Med Bay with Ianto. Before she went she pointed to my overnight back in the corner. "Gwen got you a change of clothes and stuff earlier on."

"Thanks," I said gratefully. Then I noticed that Owen had cleaned up the wounds across my wrists and my shoulder blades. I traced my finger along the bandage on my left wrist and sighed. "Why does shit like this always happen to me?"

"I dunno. But believe me, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," Owen said throwing his arms around me. I felt the tremble in his grip as tears forced their way from his eyes and before I knew it I was crying too.

"Hell, we're a tragic pair aren't we?" Owen said tearfully. I could tell that crying wasn't something he usually did.

"Tell me about it," I said laughing sadly. I slipped off the bed and into his arms and he held me close to him and together we rocked back and forth in silence. I buried my face in his shoulder and sighed. I really did love him but was loving him going to get him hurt?

"Owen…?" I mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"You sure you're happy with this?" I asked quietly, not quite sure why I was asking.

"With what?"

"Being with me," I said carefully.

"Kayla, of course I'm happy being with you! I can't imagine not being with you!" he said dragging me away from his shoulder and looking straight in my eyes.

"But I don't want you getting hurt because of me!" I said seriously squeezing his hand in mine.

"There isn't anyone I'd rather get hurt for," Owen said firmly, as though that ended the matter and I was happy to leave it there. That was all I'd needed to hear. "Let's take you to get cleaned up a bit," Owen carried on helping me out of the Med Bay. It was a struggle getting up the stairs because every muscle in my body ached and I still felt exhausted but I really wanted to get moving again.

"We're going back to my house. Yours isn't safe yet. We're still not sure if that bastard's going to come back for you," Owen said as we walked across the Hub. Tosh was sitting at her desk running some scan or other on the computer.

"Hey, Tosh, I'm just going to take Kayla back to my place and-," Owen began.

"You might want to see this, Owen," Tosh interrupted. Owen glanced at me and together we hurried over to look at the screen.

"What is it?" Owen asked curiously looking at the radar on the screen.

"They're landing."

"_What_?" I cried, "The Master? He's coming here?" I hated the panicked squeak in my voice and tried my best to extinguish it.

"Looks like it. The thing is, he's heading to the bay… towards the water. It's like he's planning on going under it…" Tosh said thoughtfully.

"Right, what can we do?" I asked determinedly.

"Kayla…?" Owen said looking at me with concern in his eyes, "You don't have to carry on with this-."

"Yes, Owen, I do. I can't give up now. Giving up would be letting the Master win and I'm not doing that."

"You sure?" Owen asked.

"Yes."

Suddenly an alert flashed up on the screen "New video file! New video file!" it screamed. I looked curiously at the message and bit my lip. I felt Owen and Tosh tense beside me.

"Gwen! Ianto!" Owen called urgently and within a minute the other two were by our side.

"Jack's still not picking up his phone," Gwen told us desparingly.

"He'll be fine," Owen told us, "He will be. But for now we have to think about ourselves. We just got this video through."

"I dunno what this is gonna be like," Tosh said, "But I'm guessing it's from the Master. Do we want to watch it?"

"Yes," I said firmly, "It might help us."

"Kayla-," Owen began looking concerned.

"Owen! There is no need to worry about me! I've been through plenty of crap and this is something I need to do for the Doctor! For Jack! And I need to do it for myself."I yelled. Immediately I regretted it. I shouldn't have flared up like that. Owen looked stung but seemed to understand.

"I'm not gonna try and change your mind but I'm worried about you, that's all," Owen said. I nodded.

"I know…sorry…it's just… after what he did I don't think I can walk away," I said slightly more calmly.

"Okay. But if it gets too much…" Owen mumbled. I smiled weakly and nodded at Tosh.

"Start the video."


	25. What School Taught Me

**Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update. My internet wasn't working. School decided to be a bitch and yeah... I'm sorry. Enjoy this. **

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The five of us were grouped around the computer screen watching anxiously as Tosh started the video message. There was tension in the air and it made me uncomfortable. I didn't quite know how to behave. I couldn't relax but I didn't want to appear too agitated either.

Then the screen filled with the Master's face and I flinched away. I felt the huge urge to run away but I froze when the Master spoke.

"That's the Master..." I breathed and tried to move away.

"I wouldn't run if I were you," he said icily.

"Can you see us?" I demanded.

"Of course. New technology," he said with a sickening smile. I suddenly couldn't keep my tongue in my mouth any longer.

"What you done to Jack and the Doctor? Let them go," I snarled.

"Oh, you've got fire now do you? Didn't anyone tell you that if you play with fire, you get burnt? Oh of course, you learnt that years ago, didn't you?" the Master said, his lip curling, "School don't really teach you that do they? You found out the hard way!"

"Hmm, well you know what school taught me?" I said feeling my face flushing with anger; "I learnt that if you kick a man in the balls he cries."

The Master's lips curled with anger and I smirked. Then he spoke again, "Well…let's go see your friends shall we?"

"If you've hurt them…" Owen snarled and I took his hand gently and he squeezed it in response.

"Oh? If I've hurt them what will you do?" he sneered and he walked to the left, the camera following his movements. I recognised the room as the cell I'd been held in and suppressed a shudder. I noticed the blood on the walls but Jack wasn't there. I frowned in confusion. Had he been moved? Obviously yes, but why? Was he all right now? Where was the Doctor? Then they came on screen.

The Doctor was kneeling on the ground with an arm around a weak looking Jack. Jack, noticing the camera seemed unable to resist giving a little wink. The Master raised an eyebrow.

"Always the actor…" he said to Jack, "Never letting anyone see you for you."  
I blinked in confusion and saw a flicker of irritation cross Jack's face.

"This is me and I'm not pretending to be anything I'm not," Jack snapped. The Master smiled.

"All this brave front; unbreakable… Untouchable… Invincible," he hissed, "But really you're bleeding inside. I can see that Jack. I learnt a lot about you when and since we last met. And now? Now I think I understand you. When was the last time someone said to you, "Jack, I understand"? When? They may say it but do they really understand what it's like to be immortal? To never die?"

Jack remained silent but I could see the unmistakable trace of fear in his eyes.

"You think it's strong not to show your fear, you too, Doctor. You and Jack have so much in common, and I understand you both," the Master carried on, "And I'm going to make you realise you're not untouchable. You're not invincible. I know how to hurt you, Jack."

"No!" I heard several voices, including my own, cry out. The Master turned back to the camera.

"Aww, nice to feel loved isn't it Jack? How would you feel if I hurt… say, Mr Ianto Jones?" the Master sneered.

"Don't you dare!" Jack yelled furiously. The whole team in the Hub had turned to look at Ianto.

"He can't…" Gwen said firmly, "There's no way he can touch us here."

"I wouldn't be so sure," the Master said, "There's always a way for me to hurt you. If I do this…" The Master smirked and pulled out a gun and aimed it at Jack. The gunshot hit him in the stomach and he cried out. Everyone reacted in anger and panic. Jack's eyes watered as he winced in pain. The Doctor was obviously muttering attempts at comfort to him but I could see the terror in his eyes. We all knew Jack would live but it hurt to see him die in the first place.

"And I can make this worse for him…" the Master said calmly pulling out a dagger and pressing it into Jack's chest. I felt my stomach heave but ignored it. Jack cried out in pain and I felt Owen shudder violently beside me. I so badly wanted to look away but I felt I couldn't. My eyes were streaming but I ignored them. I had to stay strong. I had to.

I tried not to feel as the Master dragged the knife down through Jack's chest and the Captain clung feebly to the Doctor. he Doctor was trying to stay calm but I could see him wavering in his strong outer appearance. He squeezed Jack's hand tightly and brushed his hair from his eyes and tried to make this easier for him.

"You see, I have ways of hurting you from here," the Master said.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" Owen growled, clearly upset.

"Oh really?" the Master said.

"I will. Oh believe me, we will," I said feeling my face burning in fury.

"Kayla… Little Kayla. You shouldn't be so stupid. I can tear your life apart and you know I can," the Master said.

"My life fell apart when I was very young. I learnt then that if I was going to survive I had to know how to say this. Rot. In. Hell!" I yelled before running out of the room.

"Kayla get back here!"Owen yelled after me and I heard him tearing after me. I knew my way well enough in the Hub to find my way to the tourist office and slam the door behind me. Owen ran straight into it. I heard that much. I didn't have time to care. I suddenly knew what the Master was doing. He'd probably have landed by now and he had us hypnotised by his show. I was going to stop him. I was going to fucking kick him till he cried.


	26. Drowning

**Author's Note: All I can do is apologise for the time between updates. Been busy. Sorry. And you all know this story is depressing, it's just as depressing to write. **

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There was only so far I could run before the pain I was in hit me again. I paused and gasped for breath. There was a stitch in my chest and I tried to ignore it; I was on a mission and I had to succeed or die trying.

I walked slower after that, looking around cautiously. The streets were quiet in the early hours of the morning. I glanced in a window in a shop and saw it was eight o' clock. I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply; I knew I was very possibly walking into my death but there was no other way to do this. I'd made my choice and I was going to stick to it. I knew this was going to hurt Owen but I knew it was something I was going to have to do – for my parents and for myself.

I looked around anxiously feeling my heart pounding violently in my chest. I was still aching all over but that was not something I could do anything about so there was no point feeling sorry for myself. I had to be strong. I had to.

"Turn around Kayla," came an icy voice behind me. I knew that voice and my blood ran cold.

"Verdreht," I said coldly turning around slowly to face him. I'd thought he was dead? The Master had as good as killed him when I'd gone. My mouth fell open when I saw Verdreht. His face was pale and ghostly. There was a large, dried bloodstain on his top and his face and arms were streaked with blood. His eyes were hollow and expressionless.

"What happened to you?" I asked slowly, "You were dying when I escaped."

"I am dead."

"What?"

"I am dead."

"You're… But you're walking around!" I said in shock taking a step back.

"But I am dead," he said darkly. There was no emotion in his voice and my stomach was squirming and begging me to look away but I couldn't.

"How can you be dead and walking?"

"I am dead," he said.

"Yes, you said! But how?" I demanded irritably. He took slow lethargic steps towards me and I wanted to run but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight.

"I am dead. I have risen again," Verdreht said, "The Master does not allow death when having a person living could benefit him."

"So… So you're a zombie?" I stuttered.

"I am dead."

"Do you have to keep saying that?" I snapped getting sick of hearing it, "I heard the first time."

"Let me go, Kayla Jacobs, let me go," Verdreht said backing me up against the wall of a shop. I hadn't noticed him getting that close to me.

"I'm not touching you!" I said feeling my heart leaping into my mouth.

"Let me go," he repeated, "Let me go!"

"What? I don't understand!" I whimpered.

"Let me die Kayla Jacobs!"

"I'm not stopping you!" I yelled. His eyes were drilling into me and I trembled under his lifeless gaze.

"You're the only link! He wants you! The Master wants you! And I am dead! I must be allowed to sleep now!" Verdreht insisted. I blinked back bitter tears as he pressed an icy cold hand to my throat, "I will bring you to him!"

"Go for it," I snarled. Then he dragged me away from the wall with surprising strength and pushed me forwards. I stumbled and fell to my knees weakly. I was beginning to despise the fact I was already greatly weakened.

"Up!" he said emotionlessly dragging me to my feet. I clambered up and I battled onwards with Verdreht pushing me along.

"Where are we going?" I demanded.

"The ship."

"Where's that?" I asked bitterly.

"Come with me. I will show you," he said pushing me forward again with a jolt to my shoulder blades. I was scared but I'd decided that this was something I just had to do in order to save the people I loved. I walked forward towards in the direction that Verdreht was forcing me. We were heading towards the Bay and I glanced around in shock. Why was he doing this to me?

Then we reached the edge of the Bay and I looked around anxiously. There was nothing obvious to see. I glanced back at Verdreht curiously. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure running towards me across the Bay.

"Owen!" I yelled in surprise and sudden desperation. Now that I'd seen him I suddenly didn't feel so decided in my plans. I really wanted to run over and meet him with a hug but I didn't get the chance.

Suddenly, I was thrust forward into the icy depths of the water. I heard Owen's panicked yell as I fell. I gasped as the coldness shot through my body and shocking me into a wide-awake state. I cast around in the water like a floundering squid(which is a phrase I'd never considered using until then) and I tried to throw my weight towards the surface. Then I felt a vicelike grip on my arm and I was viciously dragged through the murky water. I saw the blurred shape in front of me. I shut my eyes to try and stop the stinging and then suddenly I felt myself caught in what felt like a current. I thrashed around desperately trying to escape but there was nowhere for me to go. Verdreht still had a hold on me and wasn't letting go. I struggled but suddenly I found myself landing on my ass on the floor of a place that looked like a lab of some sort. I sat up quickly and, coughing and spluttering, tried to get my breath back.

"Ah, fancy meeting you here," the Master drawled in my ear. I looked up, scared, and met his gaze with my own. "Have you seen this?" the Master asked pointing to the screen on the wall. I rubbed my eyes to try and clear them as I looked up.

"What the…?" I coughed. It was Owen… in the water… outside the ship… drowning.

It seemed to me that the Master had trapped him with some sort of force; Owen looked like he as struggling against some sort of invisible obstruction and restraints.

"Let me go!" I snarled struggling to my feet with energy found from anger, "Or so help me I will kill you!"

"Give me three reasons why I should save him? Why shouldn't I just implode his lungs right now?" the Master putting on a face like a small child told not to touch a kettle, "Because I could Kayla… Oh I could. Except drowning is more fun to watch, don't you think? First there's the struggle to escape as the water flows relentlessly. Then there's the denial; oh why is this happening to me, and all that. After that their energy is beginning to fade and they can't hold things together anymore and they begin to accept fate. Everything goes numb and slowly-."

"Shut up!" I yelled hysterically, unable to draw my gaze away from Owen. I had to help him. I could see him fighting to hold his breath but failing miserably. He was dying and I was helpless.


	27. Spitting

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I hope you enjoy this. And just so you know (if you read _Lost, Found And Broken Beyond Repair _before you came here you'll know already...) I feel all high and strange now because a police helicopter just flew over my back garden! That was scary. There's fields for as far as the eye can see here as I live on the edge of the town and there's a main road running through the middle and there was a freaking helicopter flying around! I though to start with the noise was the farmer and his tractor but how wrong was I? It was a helicopter! A police one, according to my neighbour! Wow! Freaky but exciting. Like Torchwood. Heh. But that was my day's excitement. Oh and I just got four clarinet books and the Grade 5 one looks scary. I don't like it. And then I got _100 Pop Songs_ for fun... and loads of the ones that John Barrowman sings are in it (not his version though) but I was like "I know that song!" But anyways, on with the story.**

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"Let him go!" I begged collapsing to my knees.

"Like I said, three reasons Kayla. Just three reasons," the Master drawled. I wiped my wet hair out of my eyes and looked defiantly at the man in front of me. I was shivering from the cold; my clothes were soaked through and I was beginning to feel hypothermic.

"Because… because I love him!" I said, forcing the words out. The Master smirked and counted on his fingers.

"One."

"But… Let him go! Please!" I cried feeling the heat of tears stinging my eyes again.

"But I still only have one reason!" the Master said.

"I… I… Torchwood need him!" I said feebly. The Master raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" he said smirking, "I'd think he would be disposable…"

"No! Let him go you bastard!" I yelled in fury lunging forward and grabbing the Master by the throat. The Master looked at my in surprise and then I felt Verdreht's dead hand on my shoulder and he threw me to the ground without much difficulty. He had a surprising amount of strength for being a dead man.

_"Please__!_ Don't do this!" I sobbed madly.

"Would you have killed me Kayla?" the Master asked rubbing his neck slightly.

"Yes," I answered at once without looking at him.

"Would you really?"

"Yes," I repeated.

"If I gave you a gun and told you to shoot…?" he said looking at me closely.

"Let Owen go!" I yelled again, "Then I'll answer you!"

"The girly has fire!" the Master said, "Isn't that good Verdreht! After all she's been through, she's still fighting!"

"I won't stop fighting," I said looking at the screen again. Owen's struggles were weakening and he was moving less and less now.

"PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST LET HIM GO!" I said standing up again.

"Say please…"

"I HAVE!"

"Say my name."

"What?" I yelped, confused, "We're not playing fucking Rumplestiltskin here!"

"Say it. You know it."

"Master?" I said knowing full well that couldn't be his real name. He and the Doctor were two of a kind as far as names were concerned.

"Say please Master. Say you'll be my slave. Say you'll be my little girl."

"Please Master. I'll… I'll be your… slave… and I'll… I'll be your little girl," I said biting back my pride and swallowing it whole; what was left of it anyway.

"Good. Verdreht? Save the little boy," the Master said. I saw the dead man touch a control on the nearest panel and then there was a whooshing noise. Suddenly Owen materialised on the floor in front of me. He was soaked through but he wasn't shivering. He wasn't moving at all.

"Owen?" I mumbled crawling on my knees over to him and taking his freezing hand in mine, "Owen?"

No response.

"Owen please!" I whimpered desperately. I took his wrist and felt for a pulse. I held my ear to his chest and listened intently. The Master made no attempt to stop me. I didn't care if he was watching me. I had to save Owen. I knew what I had to do; I'd have First Aid training through my job so I knew roughly what I was doing. Owen needed my help as he'd helped me.

"Owen? Owen talk to me," I said trying to stop the tremble in my voice. Still nothing. I knew what I was doing but since there wasn't an ambulance coming, I was on my own. Dammit. I tilted his head back gently and listened. Nothing. I locked my hands together and pressed down on his chest and counted. I kept counting till I reached thirty. Then I shuffled along and tilted his head back again. I was growing tired already but I had to keep going. I gulped in as much air as I could and covered his mouth with mine and breathed out. Whoever said it was like kissing is a daft fucker. In no way is it like kissing. If it was kissing I might have got more of a response. I gave another supposed rescue breath and then went back to compressions. I didn't know how long I was going to have to keep this up and whether it was worth it.

It went on like that for several moments. The Master was still watching me with a smile curling his lips. I ignored him. I didn't have time for bastards like him right then. I was crouched to give more rescue breaths while my muscles ached and protested violently. I pressed my mouth against his again and breathed out. Then I felt him move beneath me and he gasped for breath feebly. I sprang back and he grabbed at my hand and looked up at me with wild, terrified eyes.

"Kayla!" he said looking scared. He chocked and spat out a mouthful of water and I hovered anxiously by his side with sweat pouring from my brow.

"Owen…" I muttered but he collapsed onto the ground again; unconscious. I watched him for a second but I was pleased to learn he was still breathing.

"Now then, you've had your fun," the Master said striding towards me again and pulling me to my feet. My knees buckled beneath me and I was going to fall. I didn't ever hit the ground because the Master had forced me against the wall of the room. I felt sick as the double beat rose up in my chest again.

"Get off me," I spat viciously. I glowered at him. He'd nearly killed Owen… I saw red and kicked out at him violently. I struck him in the groin and he cried out in surprise.

"You'll fucking pay for that you little whore!" he yelled at me.

"What did you call me?" I said staring at him.

"You heard. That's what you'll be when I'm done with you!" he snarled grabbing a fistful of my hair and throwing me up against the wall again. I struggled with new strength and cried out. He wasn't going to get away with anything this time. Just then Verdreht came in (I'd been to busy to notice his departure) clutching the fully unconscious Doctor and an exhausted looking Jack.

"Kayla?" Jack said looking at me worriedly, "Owen! Oh God, Owen!"

"He'll be okay, Harkness. This little bitch saw to that, didn't you honey?" the Master sneered in my ear pressing his face close to mine.

"What is it you want from us?" I demanded fiercely.

"If I told you it would kill you," the Master said with a smirk.

"You're gonna kill me anyway."

"Not yet though. I'm not finished with you," he said trailing a finger along my cheek. I lashed out again and spat in his eye. He threw me aside and wiped it away. I smirked at my minute victory and scampered over to Jack.

"Jack, what the hell do I do?" I asked in a frantic.

"Kill him," Jack said, "It's all we can do."

"But…"

"He will die Kayla, trust me. Verdreht…"

"He's dead, yes," I said, "The Master brought him back!"

"He's transplanted his life in him. Half of the Master's soul is inside that man. If one half dies…he can't regenerate," Jack explained. The Master was storming back over to me again. He drew a gun out of his belt and pressed it to Jack's forehead.

"What did you tell her?" he snapped, "What?"

"I told her the truth!" Jack hissed. The gun went off and I felt the world spin sickeningly again. Jack collapsed against Verdreht's still form. The Master smiled.

"Would you kill me Kayla? I don't think you would," the Master said smirking. I felt tears coming again and I couldn't quite focus, "I can make the dead live!"

"It's not a real life," I said quietly.

"Ah but isn't it worth it? To see the ones you love again?" he said.

"What are you getting at here?" I said, not wanting the hassle of small talk.

"I could bring you parents back Kayla…would you kill a man who could do that?" he said. Could I? Could he bring my parents back? He'd kept Verdreht alive? No, that was different. Jack had told me what had happened and I didn't want to be dragged into the Master's circle again.

"I can bring them into your mind like the Doctor did."

"How did you know he did that?"

"He told me."

"Don't. Touch. Me," I said coldly, "My parents are dead. They have been for many years and that's not about to change."

"We'll see about that," the Master said, "Wouldn't you like to see them again? You would, wouldn't you?"

"No," I lied.

"You do…"

"No."

"Kayla listen to what you're saying," the Master drawled striding closer to me. I was against a wall again and I was beginning to get fed up of running into walls. Then I felt something pressed into my hand. I glanced around and saw Verdreht standing beside me. He'd pressed a knife into my trembling hand.

"Kill him Kayla…" he whispered before lumbering away while the Master approached me with a sneer.


	28. Murder?

I felt numb and horrified. I was completely frozen in terror of what I had to do. I was being given a chance to kill my tormentor but was I really strong enough to do it? Hell, I wanted to but what you can do and what you want are often two completely different things.

The Master was closing in on me again saying things that I could no longer hear nor particularly wanted to hear. He had a cruel smirk on his face that I didn't like. He was right up against me now and was hissing in my ear.

"What would your Mum and Dad have wanted…? They would want to see you again," he said icily. Could I really use the blade in my hand to end this man's life? I'd never used a weapon before and I wasn't a killer.

"Kayla…" the Master drawled, "After you've seen your parents again you will want to help me and we'll join together and-."

"And what?" I demanded.

"We can bring back the dead! We can show people where their loved ones are and we can try and bring them back!"

"How?"

"Let me show you Kayla," the Master said placing a hand either side of my head. I trembled and felt the second beat in my chest again; I was desperate for the pendant back again because it would have made things so much simpler.

"Don't…" I protested trying to shake him off me without giving away the fact that I had a knife.

"Listen to me Kayla… imagine you're floating… imagine your lying on the ocean just floating…" the Master crooned, "Let go of yourself Kayla…." I couldn't help but obey. I knew what he was doing; it was the same as the Doctor had done to me in my kitchen.

"You can see them, can't you Kayla?"

_I was sitting at the kitchen table writing the word "decidedly" over and over again. It was part of my homework to learn a list of words and write five sentences. It was boring but it had to be done._

_Mum and Dad were standing by the sink talking happily. Every so often they would ask me a question or for my opinion and I would gladly give it. It was an amiable evening in the Jacob family household. I was perfectly contented and didn't think much when the doorbell rang._

"You can see them, can't you Kayla?" the Master said in my ear. I nodded slowly, completely in his power, "Wouldn't you like to see them alive in front of you again? Wouldn't you like to be able to live with them forever? Watch Kayla, you could save them from this…"

"_Not you!" I heard my Dad yell from the hallway. I looked up from my jotter and glanced at Mum._

"_What is it, Mum?" I asked curiously._

"_It's… it's… Wait here Kayla," she said firmly. I looked at her curiously as she left the room and walked through to join my father. I sighed and put down my pencil._

"_Get out of my house!" Dad shouted madly._

"_But why?" came the cold drawl of the man I wouldn't know till much later._

"_Out!"_

"_Would you let me go again? I don't think so! Let me in!" the man said and I heard him push his way inside._

"No…" I whined. I knew what the Master was showing me. I knew what was coming next.

"It's the only way to bring them back Kayla…"

"No!"

_The man was in the kitchen now. I glowered at him as he entered because he'd ruined my evening._

"_Why are you here?" I demanded, "Didn't you hear my dad? Get out."_

"_Kayla, hush!" my Mum said patting my arm._

"_Fire in her, that one!" Verdreht said smirking._

"DON'T DO THIS!" I begged the Master. I was getting scared now. I didn't want to see these images again.

"_How did you survive the Solar Globe?" Verdreht said icily and accusingly._

"_We don't know what you're taking about. Get out. Now," my Dad said firmly._

"_Oh…you know full well what I'm asking," Verdreht said, "Give me fucking answers."_

_"Go to your room Kayla, now!" my Dad said looking at me firmly._

"_No, make the girly stay. Then I might get some answers!" Verdreht said grabbing my hair and pulling me into his grip. Then there was something cold and hard at my throat. A knife. I panicked and tried to escape but there was nothing I could do. I could no longer hear what was being said because I was crying to much. There was one thing that caught my awareness though._

"_I know you're all bloody aliens! You can't hide forever!" he yelled and then I was cast on to the ground. The knife was raised and Verdreht ran at my Mum._

"Don't!" I yelled with as much force as I could muster. Then I heard the scream. The Master was looking at me with bulging, furious eyes and I stared right back, horrified. He opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a fine trickle of blood. I vaguely heard Verdreht's cry of triumph as I looked down at my hands. There was crimson blood everywhere. It was dribbling down my wrists and covering me. I was no longer holding the knife; it was firmly lodged in the Master's stomach. He fell back away from me and crumpled to the ground. I was in shock.

"M…" I began but gave up trying to speak. There was blood pooling on the floor where the Master lay. He glared furiously at me for a moment before drawing a gun from his belt. He tried to raise it to aim at me but he dropped it on the floor and clutched at his stomach in agony.

"No!" he yelled in fury. I looked at him in horror and then blundered away over to Jack. The Captain was just waking up again and I went to help him.

"Kayla…" Jack began and then he noticed the blood on my hands, "Oh God, you did it?" I nodded as Jack looked past me to the Master writhing on the floor in pain. Something slipped from the Master's pocket and I recognised it as the Sonic Screwdriver. I blundered forward and picked it up. The Master made a swipe at me as I came nearer but I ignored him. My whole body was too numb to make much sense of the situation. I'd just killed a man… I'd taken his life…

"Kayla? Kayla, listen," I heard Jack say. I looked around and stumbled over to him and held out the Screwdriver, "Press it against the cuffs." I did. "And press that button." I did. There was a whirr and then Jack was freed. He took the device from me and quickly freed the still unconscious Doctor. I dropped the Screwdriver and fell to my knees.

"What's going to happen to him now…?" I asked.

"He's dying Kayla," Jack said putting an arm around me and holding me close. The Master glared vengefully at me and suddenly he gave a shuddering cry and his head fell back onto the ground. He didn't move after that. I had been half expecting to cry but nothing happened. I sat there in a numb shock and tried to ignore the blood on my hands.

"Let's get out of here," Jack said quietly. He got to his feet slowly and shakily and I could see he was hurt too. He was struggling and exhausted but still carrying on and I decided I had to as well. I clambered to my feet and joined him by a screen by a door. He was looking puzzled.

"What is it Jack?" I asked quietly.

"I… I think this is how he spoke to you lot back at the Hub," Jack said quietly.

"Maybe Tosh and Ianto can help us?" I said softly trying desperately to think logically.

Exactly what I was thinking," Jack said typing something on the keyboard and loading up a new image. There was a selection of locations to chose from. I didn't even bother trying to understand. Understanding would come later when this was all over. I had so many questions but none I wanted to hear the answers to at the moment.

"There… He's got us on a Camera link. A bit like web cam," Jack said slowly selecting the "Torchwood" heading. Then he clicked a button saying "Open New Message". The screen went black but we could tell it was still active, "Now we need to wait for Tosh or Ianto to accept the message…"

I shivered suddenly realising how cold I was and Jack noticed. He held me close to him but I didn't react. I just let him hold me.

Then the screen flared into life and I gasped. Tosh and Ianto flickered onto the screen looking fearful. Their expressions changed quickly to relief when the saw us.

"Jack! Kayla!" Tosh said smiling slightly, "Are you alright?"

"We'll cope."

"What about Owen?" Ianto demanded, "Is he there too? When Kayla ran, he went after her and-."

"He's okay," I said nodding and glancing towards Owen's unconscious form in the corner.

"What's happened Jack? How come you can use this thing? Is the Master-," Tosh began before Jack cut her off.

"He's dead Tosh."

Silence. I rocked back and forth slightly and bit my lip.

"Did-," Ianto began looking at me.

"Questions are for later, Ianto. We need to get out of here first," Jack said firmly. Ianto nodded understandingly.

"What d'you want us to do?" Tosh asked diligently. I could tell at once she was used to acting under pressure and knew exactly how to behave while doing so. I could tell she loved the thrill of adventure; as did I but to a limit.

"We need to get rid of this ship. I'm going to take the escape pod once I find one. Then we're gonna set this ship to self-destruct. If I can…"

I'd stopped listening. I'd just seen something that had distracted me. I made my way over to Owen and knelt down beside him.

"Owen?" I mumbled quietly taking his hand in mine. We were both soaking and freezing so I didn't realise how cold he was.

"K… Kayla?" he stuttered, "Oh God Kayla… Are you alright?"

"I'm… I'm fine. You?" I asked trying to turn the conversation away from me.

"I'm…I've never felt this fucking screwed up," Owen admitted with a small smile. I threw my arms around him and held him tight. I felt his hand running through my wet hair and his other arm around my waist and I felt suddenly slightly warmer.


	29. Escape Pod

We stayed sitting on the ground like that for a long while. I was trying not to look at the Master's body sprawled on the floor; every time I did my stomach swooped and my conscience ate at me. Then Jack spoke.

"Kayla? Owen?" he said quietly, "We're leaving."

"How?" Owen asked looking up at Jack despairingly, "What about the Master?"

"He's dead Owen," I said quietly. It was the first time I'd said that out loud and suddenly it all became real to me, "I… I killed him!" My voice had reached a slightly hysterical pitch by the end of the sentence and Jack shook his head.

"No, Kayla. Don't think about it like that," he said helping Owen and I to our feet. Owen trembled and grabbed hold of me to steady himself. I put my arm around his shoulders while he waited until his vision cleared.

"You okay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah."

"Right, we need to find if there's any other life sources on this ship. Then we're going to find an escape pod. After we're in the escape pod, Tosh is gonna blow up this ship from the Hub."

"Won't that affect the city?" I said slowly watching Jack closely, "You're gonna cause an explosion-."

"They'll think it's a freak tidal wave," Jack said dismissively. I stared at him for a moment as he typed codes into the computer nearby. Owen and I exchanged glances and I sighed.

"What d'you want us to do?" Owen asked shivering slightly. My clothes were starting to weigh me down and it was horrible. I felt lethargic and cold. Owen could only be feeling the same way.

"I want you both to take it easy. Owen, you nearly drowned. From what I heard, Kayla had to save you," Jack said not looking away from the screen. Owen looked at me questioningly.

"Jack, you've had it bad too," I said frowning, "You can't say being killed and tortured over and over didn't hurt."

"No. I never said that. But I'm your boss-," Jack began.

"Not mine."

"I am Owen's," Jack said with a sad smile, "Just be careful. I don't want either of you getting hurt any more."

"We won't," I promised. Jack smiled and went back to what he was doing with the computer systems. Then Owen looked at me.

"You saved me?" he asked curiously.

"CPR… The Master was drowning you and…" I began, struggling to find the words to recount the incident looking at Owen with an anxious smile.

"Yeah…I remember being drowned… I couldn't move… I was stuck and… and… It was horrible! I thought I was gonna die!" Owen said trembling slightly.

"So did I," I admitted, "He made me beg a bit before he let you go. And I had to do-."

"The Kiss of Life," Owen with a small smile, "Thanks Kayla."

"Anytime," I said suddenly wanting to kiss him then. The look in his eyes was one of deepest emotion and I really wanted to press my lips to his. He even looked irresistible when he was soaked and looked frightened and exhausted.

"There's nobody else on the ship. It was set" on automatic. No crew anywhere. That's a bit odd don't ya think?" Jack said to us.

"Maybe," I said, "I'm not an expert on alien spaceships."

"Hell, neither am I," Owen said, "They vary too much."

"Right… Tosh?" Jack said back to the screen messenger thing, "We're looking for an escape pod. I'll tell you when we've found one. Then you're going to give us twenty minutes to get out because we don't know how this ship's going to react to having an escape pod launched. Be ready."

"Be careful Jack," Tosh pleaded as Jack tapped into various files on the computer.

"There! There's an escape pod in the next room. Tosh, I've found it. Start the program. Now!" Jack said running and grabbing the Doctor. He picked him up and slung him over his shoulder haphazardly before using the Sonic Screwdriver to open the door to the next room.

It sprang open after a few seconds and we piled through. Owen and I were supporting each other onwards; we were both feeling lethargic and hypothermic but we had to keep going if we didn't want to be blown to bits in a spaceship. Jack looked around for a second when he got into the room.

"Fuck," he quietly. We were in a room full of metal door hatches.

"Looks like this could be what you call a hallway of a spaceship," Owen said looking anxious, "Just open them all."

"Remember, we don't know what security protocols are in place here," Jack reminded us but he set about opening doors himself. I let go of Owen and struggled over to the nearest and turned the handle. It was, surprisingly, unlocked and I pushed it aside. Inside was something looked remarkably like a kitchen. I sighed and shut the door again.

"Nothing here," I said moving on to the next door.

"Nothing," Owen said shaking his head.

"Got it!" Jack yelled after what felt like an eternity. We hurried over to where Jack was. Jack clambered through still clutching the Doctor and we piled in after him. There wasn't much room. The pod was clearly only designed for two people and storage space. There were two seats at the front with the controls and the domed window through which we could see the murky water.

Jack seated the Doctor in the front and Owen and I curled up in the small space behind the driver's seats. There wasn't much room but just enough for us to be able to sit down. I laid my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes. I felt his head rest on mine and his arm snake around me. A small smile played at my lips and I just sat quietly for the short duration of the trip in a trance like state; as did Owen. Jack didn't speak and neither did we. For the moment there was nothing any of us wanted to say.


	30. Retcon

It was only a matter of minutes before the pod reached the surface of the water. We broke through the surface with a splash. I opened my eyes and looked out of the window at the front of the ship. We were soaring upwards and upwards. We flew along not taking any notice of the bystanders staring. We reached a dark, desolate alley and descended slowly. We touched down on to the ground outside the tourist office.

A few moments later the door opened on the pod again. I forced my numb body to move and struggled out followed closely by Owen.

"We've made it!" I whispered. Jack pulled the Doctor out of the pod and then looked at Owen and I.

"You're right Kayla, we've made it," he said eventually, "Let's get inside."

Before we'd even opened the door it was thrown open and we were greeted by Ianto and Tosh.

"Jack!" Tosh said looking relieved. Ianto just stared at us. Jack didn't speak; he just walked into the little office and Ianto opened the secret door to the Hub. Owen and I followed along holding hands tightly; more to feel safe than the fact we both felt disorientated and confused.

Gwen hurried through the Hub and gasped as she saw us.

"Thank God…" she breathed. Her eyes fell on Owen and I and I adverted my gaze. I didn't feel like conversation at the moment.

"We're going to the Med Bay, Gwen," Jack said, "Give us a hand?"

"Sure," she said nodding and following Jack down the stairs to the only part of the Hub I knew my way around properly.

It was only moments before Ianto appeared laden with warm towels and blankets. I smiled weakly. He always seemed to know what I wanted. God bless Ianto Jones.

"I think you should take that wet stuff off," Gwen said to me as I accepted a towel from Ianto, "Same with you Owen."

"Whatever…" Owen mumbled. He looked half asleep and I really badly wanted to go and hug him. Jack had laid the Doctor down on the bed in the Med Bay and was running a few checks. Ianto took Owen by the arm and led him off somewhere to get dried off.

"C'mon Kayla," Gwen said putting an arm around me and leading me away, "I'll give you a hand."

"Thanks…" I mumbled. I didn't even feel self-conscious about any of this. I just wanted to be safe and warm again. Gwen led me gently through the Hub to one of the bathrooms. It was a small room but there was plenty of room for the both of us. I struggled to stay awake as she sat me down on the closed toilet lid.

"How you feeling?" Gwen asked. I looked at her wearily.

"Honestly?" I said quietly, "I… I don't know." I couldn't even cry and something in me wished I could. It would let so much off my chest but I couldn't cry. I was in too much shock to do anything but sit and let Gwen help me. My overnight bag was sitting in the corner and Gwen looked through to find me something to wear. She eventually found my still-folded pyjamas from the night at Owen's.

"You didn't need them when you were with Owen the other night?" she asked with a knowing smile. I smiled weakly back. I think Gwen could guess what happened between Owen and I.

"You two look good together," she said smiling.

"Really?"

"Yeah! You didn't see him when you were missing, Kayla, he was breaking his heart," Gwen said squeezing my hand and helping me out of my wet clothes and drying me off.

"I didn't want to upset anyone…" I mumbled.

"Kayla, you didn't have a choice!"

"Second time I did… I didn't have to run off… Then Owen wouldn't have gotten hurt!" I said desperately.

"If you hadn't run off we would be here now. The Master would probably still be torturing Jack and the Doctor!" Gwen said as I pulled on my pyjamas. Then she wrapped the fluffy blanket around me and I smiled sadly.

"I guess you're right, thank you," I said slowly.

"No problem. Owen really cares about you," Gwen said, "We all do. Owen was devastated when you slipped unconscious after what happened with that drug thing the Master gave you. It took all we had to try keep Owen calm. It was near impossible but when you woke up and, well, you know the rest," she said hugging me.

"Yeah…" I said, "Can I see him?"

"Owen?"

"Yeah," I said nodding. I just wanted to hug him so badly. I had to see him just to know he was alright.

"Come on then, we'll go find him," Gwen said as I pulled on a pair of slipper socks and struggled to my feet. I clutched the blanket around me like a cape and followed Gwen through the Hub.

Owen was sitting hugging his knees on the sofa. He was wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a slightly crumbled shirt; he too had a blanket. There was a steaming mug of coffee sitting beside him on a table but he didn't touch it. He glanced up at me and his face lit up with a smile.

"Owen…" I breathed before my emotions got the better of me and I blundered over to him and collapsed down beside him. He threw his arms around me and he laughed. You know when you've just been through a load of crap and you get out the other end still alive and all you want to do is cry but you find yourself laughing? That's exactly what we did; we were safe. Gwen smiled and left us to it.

"Thank God you're okay," Owen whispered holding me close, "I thought I was gonna lose you!"

"Owen… I thought… I thought I was gonna lose you too! And… And…" I burbled, "I don't know what I'd have done if I had."

"You'd have-," Owen began but I cut across him.

"I love you," I said pulling away from him slightly and looking in his eyes.

"I love you too," he said leaning in to me and pressing his lips to mine. My heart fluttered happily and I suddenly felt better than I had in a while. I shivered slightly and this time it had nothing to do with the cold.

Just then Jack made an appearance beside us.

"Sorry to break up the happy couple…" he began. Owen and I sprang apart and I noticed with a small smile that Owen was glaring at Jack accusingly.

"What?" Owen snapped tetchily. Jack didn't make a fuss of Owen being moody; I guess he understood.

"You could both do with rest," Jack said, "You want to go home Kayla?"

"She's staying with me for a while," Owen said quickly. Jack looked from Owen to me and then nodded.

"That's probably for the best…" Jack said smiling. There was a small packet in his hand and Owen had noticed. His eyes widened and then he stared at the Captain in disbelief.

"Jack!" Owen said in horror, "Don't."

"Don't?" Jack said looking surprised.

"Retcon! Jack, you can't," Owen said pleadingly. I was totally confused. Owen seemed pretty upset by whatever Jack had.

"What's retcon?" I asked quietly.

"It's a drug - amnesia pill. Makes you forget," Owen said squeezing my hand tight. I don't think he noticed he was holding my hand.

"I'm not giving it to anyone unless they want it," Jack said firmly, looking Owen in the eye, "Would you want it Kayla? Would you want to forget Torchwood and the last few days?"

"What?" I said, bewildered. I had the chance to forget all these memories - all these horrible memories. When I was ten I'd have done anything for a drug that would wipe my mind clear of all those horrors but had I changed too much for that now? Could I do it?

"You'd forget everything about the last few days," Owen said. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and I knew exactly what he was thinking, "You would forget me too. And everything we… did." I couldn't hurt him like that. If I forgot him I'd know no different; I'd still think I was the girl who'd never been touched by a man like Owen. I'd still be calling myself Lia… I wouldn't know who I really was.

"No," I said firmly to Jack. Jack smiled.

"I was hoping that's what you'd say," he said happily. Owen sighed in relief as a stray tear trickled down his cheek. I felt my lip tremble and then I was crying.

"What now?" I said, "What happens now?" Jack just looked at us with a sad smile.

"We'll talk about it all tomorrow. Get some sleep now," he said warmly as Ianto appeared with a mug of hot chocolate for Owen and I. I smiled at him.

"Thanks," I said accepting it gratefully. Ianto pressed a mug into Owen's hands and took away the untouched coffee.

"Chocolate works for the girls, Owen," Ianto said with a small smile, "Figured you might like to give it a shot." Owen rolled his eyes with a small laugh and took the mug.

"Thanks," he said. Jack sat with us for a while but nobody spoke as we drank. I began to feel noticeably drowsy. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I yawned loudly and felt my head drooping onto Owen's shoulder...


	31. Talk

I woke much later on lying in front of Owen on the sofa. His arm was wrapped around my waist and I felt safe. I could hear his deep, steady breathing in my ear and I focused on that. Rhythmic patterns always helped keep me calm when I was worked up about something.

My body was aching and I had one bitch of a headache. I shut my eyes and tried to get back to sleep but my mind was too active. For a moment I struggled to remember falling asleep. Then I remembered; I'd been drinking hot chocolate and then I'd started to feel sleepy. I vaguely recalled someone taking the mug out of my hands as it started to veer dangerously towards spillage point.

"Kayla…?" I heard Owen mumble softly.

"Hmm?" I said forcing myself to turn around and face him. He didn't say anything else to me. He just smiled slightly.

"You two awake now?" Jack said appearing in the doorway.

"I guess so," Owen said drowsily.

"Mmm," I mumbled, "What time is it?"

"Eight in the morning," Jack said.

"Eight in the morning?" Owen repeated in shock, "But…"

"You've been out for nearly twenty four hours. Strong sedative," Jack smiled, "You should probably eat something now." As soon as Jack mentioned food I realised I was starving. Jack walked over to me and took my hand to help me up. I stood still for a moment to steady myself. Then Jack helped Owen up and together we walked through to the Hub Board Room. My muscles were still and sore but I battled onwards and took a seat beside Owen. Gwen and Tosh were sitting in the room too. The Doctor was sitting beside Jack looking solemn.

Ianto appeared moments late with a carrier bag full of food from the little bakery down the road. He pulled out an assortment of bacon and sausage sandwiches.

"God, I'm gonna come to the Hub for breakfast more often!" Gwen laughed as she took a paper bag from the collection Ianto had emptied on the table.

"Thanks Ianto," I said, feeling happier than I had for a while. The past few days' events were still blissfully cloudy in my head at the moment and I made no attempt to think about them.

Bacon sandwiches had never tasted so good as they did then. We all chatted amiably about normal non-alien-related things and if felt good to escape that a bit.

"Kayla?" Jack probed after we'd all finished, "Can I speak to you?"

"Yeah, course," I said, feeling slightly puzzled. Jack got to his feet and I followed him out of the Board Room. He led me through to his office and sat down behind his desk. He indicated for me to take the opposite seat. I did so.

"Right…" Jack began, "How you feeling?"

"Fuzzy," was the only adjective to come to mind.

"Fuzzy?" Jack repeated with a laugh "Fair enough."

"It's just… I feel happy but I know that there's… darkness in the background. It's like there's a fog covering my past and when I wake up I'll remember it properly and… and it'll all be back to tear me apart," I said hesitantly. It felt good to open up to someone.

"It won't tear you apart," Jack said firmly.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. You're a strong person Kayla, and it's not that you can't remember it properly. It's that you're not looking," Jack said leaning forward in his chair and resting his hands on the table.

"I know, but I don't want to look. I know what's there and it scared me, Jack," I admitted.

"Want to talk about it?" Jack asked carefully, his eyes watching me comfortingly.

"No," was my immediate answer.

"Sure?"

"No…" I mumbled, "I… I… I killed a man, Jack, how do I deal with that? That makes me just as bad as Verdreht killing… killing my parents."

"It doesn't," Jack said firmly, "Because you killed the Master to save your friends."

"Yes, but-."

"You save me. You saved Owen. You saved the Doctor," Jack insisted.

"I guess," I said, looking down at my knees.

"Kayla, look at me," Jack demanded in that voice that stern voice that you just have to obey. I did.

"You did the right thing. If you hadn't, Owen and the Doctor would probably be dead. So would you," Jack said, "I'd be tortured for all eternity and Gwen, Ianto and Tosh would probably be hunted down and killed. And his plan would have worked."

"What was his plan?" I asked curiously.

"The Master wanted to make the people of Earth like he made Verdreht. He wanted to create a world of "zombies" connected to his soul, they'd all be kept alive by him. That's what he was trying to do to you, Kayla, showing your parents, he was trying to knock down your defences and get inside your mind. It's easier for him to possess your soul that way," Jack explained. I shuddered.

"Why?"

"He wanted to create a race of people who'd obey him and only him. He wanted to make a world that was indestructible. He hadn't thought through the plan though…it wouldn't have worked. He didn't know that the more he possessed people, the more it weakened him. He hadn't worked it out properly, instead of draining the independent life force of his victims into himself, he just let the life die. He ended up being drained of his own life in order to keep Verdreht alive. That's why you were able to kill him."

It took me a moment to absorb that information, "The sick bastard…"

"Yup," Jack said nodding. We were both silent for a moment, "Kayla…let me ask you a question."

"What?"

"What d'you think should happen next?" Jack asked watching me closely for my reaction.

"I… I don't know," I replied uncertainly. I wasn't really sure what he wanted me to say.

"Let me clarify; what would you say if I told you to walk away from Torchwood?"

"Owen…" I mumbled, going red and looking away from Jack's thoughtful gaze.

"You could still be with Owen. Gwen has a fiancée outside Torchwood," Jack said.

"But… But there'd be a limit of what he can tell me about what he does in Torchwood?"

"Well, you know about Torchwood already," Jack said, "But yes, there would be limitations." I thought for a moment about the situation. That would mean having a relationship with secrets. That would be hard on the both of us. Also, what would I do now that I'd seen and been part of this whole organisation?

"What if I couldn't walk away?" I asked finally. Jack grinned.

"Then there'd be a place for you here in Torchwood," Jack said, "If you want it…?"

"And you're not just offering me a job because you don't know what else to do with me?" I asked suspiciously.

"I don't just ask people to randomly join the team," Jack said sincerely, "But we're all here because we couldn't walk away."

"What would this job involve?"

"Well, I understand you're a journalist? And you have a certain shape-shifting ability? You can do cover stories and you'd be brilliant at undercover missions," Jack said before looking serious, "And you bring out something good in Owen." I felt my heart flutter at just hearing his name mentioned.

"But you know the conditions of my "shape-shifting ability"…?" I said quietly.

"I know that you only copy the dominant species on the planet you're on…but touching a species from another planet will make you change too," Jack said.

"Yes. And it supposedly takes a lot of self-control to maintain a change after that other species has let you go," I added. Jack nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "And I thought you ought to know…"

"What?"

"While you were sleeping the Doctor and Tosh were running a few checks over you," Jack explained.

"Nice of you to ask," I said with a small smile.

"And he found out something about you," Jack said, apparently struggling to find the words.

"Oh?" I said, feeling anxious. Jack nodded.

"You're lifespan - you're meant to live much longer than humans," Jack said.

"I know…"

"But the thing is, you've been human so long that your body's adjusted to being human too much and your life span is just the same as any other human," Jack said quietly. I thought for a moment.

"I'm glad," I said eventually, and I meant it. I really meant it. Jack hadn't been expecting that reaction and he smiled happily.

"Brilliant! So, can I make you one of the team?" he asked.

"Go ahead," I said. My situation was about to take a turn for the better.


	32. When I Got Out Of Jack

**Author's Note: I am so sorry about how long it took to update this! My laptop crashed and wiped the whole document. It wasn't in my recycling bin or anything - it was just gone. And then it did it _again _today. So, I'm sorry.**

**And about the title of this chapter. Well. Cee, this is for you. For the rest of you, I saved the document without changing the title and the automatic title became "When I got out of Jack" because it cut off the sentence at the apostrophe. Which Cee and I thought was really quite funny. And sounded really quite wrong. But, yeah. That's the reason for that.**

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When I got out of Jack's office the Doctor was waiting for us. He had his hands in his pockets and was leaning casually against a wall.

"I'm off," he informed us, "Stuff to do."

"You sure? You can stay for a bit if you want?" Jack said walking over to the Doctor, "And you sure you're alright?"

"I'm always alright," he said with a small, sad laugh that told a very different story.

"You don't have to-."

"I'm going Jack. Best to keep moving," the Doctor cut across Jack firmly, "Thanks for everything."

"No problem," Jack said as he hugged the Doctor, "But feel free to come back anytime." The Doctor nodded and smiled.

"And Kayla? I'm sorry about dragging you into all this," the Doctor said with an apologetic smile. That was certainly not how I felt about the matter. I hurried forwards and threw my arms around him. I ignored the double beat in my heart and I found that I was getting more used to it.

"I'm glad you did," I said honestly looking him in the eyes with my arms around his neck, "If you hadn't I would still be hiding behind a character that wasn't who I am. I'd still be calling myself Lia Baxter…and I'm not that girl. I'm Kayla Jacobs and you showed me that. You and Torchwood." The Doctor smiled at me.

"Well, I'm glad I helped," he said with a smile.

"So am I," I admitted, "It's not something I could have done if I hadn't been forced to take it full on." I let go of the Doctor then and took a step back just in time to see Owen literally bouncing towards us.

"Is it true?" he asked, eyes wide with hope, "Gwen said Jack wants you to join the team!"

"Yes!" I said grinning widely and hugging him when he threw himself at me laughing delightedly.

"God, Kayla that's brilliant!" he cried.

"Meet our new Undercover Agent and Public Relations officer," Jack said nodding towards me as Owen looked at him as though for confirmation that I wasn't lying to him.

"Bloody hell!" Owen exclaimed as he pressed his lips to mine, not caring that Jack and the Doctor were watching. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the Doctor look away politely. Jack just smirked as I responded, naturally, to Owen's touch.

"Owen, Kayla, not now," Jack said, trying _very _had to sound serious, "Or I might be forced to join you."

"_Jack_!" the Doctor whined looking disgusted. Owen and I broke apart. There was silence for a moment.

"Well, I'm going," Owen said, "I'm taking Kayla back to mine. We both need to get cleaned up and everything."

"'Kay Owen," Jack nodded, "Take the day off. Take some time to recuperate properly. Come back when you're ready."

"You mean that?" Owen asked incredulously, "You're not gonna call us at some God-forsaken hour in the morning demanding we come into work?"

"No," Jack said, "Would I ever?"

"Yes," Owen deadpanned. Jack rolled his eyes. Owen took my hand and led me towards the rising platform that would take us out of the Hub. Gwen handed me my handbag and my overnight bag on the way out and I thanked her on my way out.

I was still wearing my pyjamas but luckily, they didn't look too out of place as I could pull them off as a tracksuit - just a really, really ruffled, fluffy one.

It was a raining outside. There wasn't anyone hanging around on the street; they were all running for the cover of houses or cars. Owen and I walked as quickly as we could towards where he'd parked his car. My muscles were still aching painfully after the last few days but I tried my best to ignore it.

Owen clicked the car open with the electronic key and we jumped in. We sat for a moment in silence and watched the rain battering of the windscreen.

"Bloody Welsh weather," Owen grumbled after a while.

"Scotland wasn't much better when I lived up there," I said with a hollow laugh. Owen smiled.

"Just Britain, eh?" he said rolling his eyes, "Just one of those things…"

"Yeah," I nodded, "And can we stop at my house for a bit first? I want to pick up a few things."

"Yeah, sure," Owen agreed as he started up the engine.

"I just want to get my fifty something pairs of shoes," I said looking out of the window with an absent expression. Owen turned to look at me when we came to a junction.

"What?"

"And all my six boxes of makeup - all of it's essentials, you know," I added making a list on my fingers.

"Kayla?"

"Oh! And my Chihuahua," I said, smiling happily, "Charlie's been looking after him for me."

"Please tell me you don't have a Chihuahua!" Owen exclaimed turning a corner a little too abruptly making the car squeal in protest. I giggled and looked at him.

"Do I look like the "hoards-of-makeup-and-a-yowling-barking-Chihuahua" type of girl?" I asked raising my eyebrows incredulously. The relief that washed over Owen's face was unbelievable and only succeeded in making me laugh even harder.

"No… I didn't think you were that type of girl," he said smiling slightly after letting out a low sigh, "You're gonna make a good Undercover Agent if you can lie that well!"

"Thanks," I said laughing.

When we reached my street I feel silent. I had a nasty, biting feeling in my stomach that I associated with fear. Last time I'd been to my house I'd been abducted my parent's killer. Owen seemed to notice my tension.

"You okay?" he enquired.

"Yeah…" I mumbled. Owen seemed to know exactly what was causing my unease.

"Like I said, Tosh and Ianto gave this place the all clear," he explained, "They came to find out what had taken you. There's no threat here whatsoever."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh," I said as Owen parked the car outside my house. Together we got out and walked up the driveway towards the door. I unlocked the door and looked around for a moment before stepping over the threshold. I was half expecting that bright light to fill my head up and to feel my mind spinning.

Owen took my hand comfortingly and led me inside. Everything looked just as it had last time I was here and I smiled. This house had never felt like home but it was a place I knew and I was glad of that. You might know this yourself but when you're taking so many steps into the unknown it's good to have something familiar to hold onto.

As we entered the living room I dumped my stuff on the floor and went to the phone where'd I'd noticed the message alert light flashing. I sighed and pressed "Play".

"You have four new messages. Message one," said the automated female voice on the answering machine.

"Hello Lia, this is Dennis," came the heavy Irish voice of my boss from the newspaper. Crap. "Where the hell have you been girl? Mr Pecan was phoning to say you never turned up to interview him! You better sort this out now, woman."

"Sounds like a nice bloke," Owen said with a sardonic edge to his voice. I smirked.

"Message two."

"Hey L…Kayla," said Charlie's voice, "Hell I'm never gonna get used to this. Yeah, it's Charlie. But I just wanted to see if you were okay after all that stuff you were telling me about the other day? And if you wanted to meet up with me later? We could go get chips or something. Call me back when you get this. Bye!"

"Message three."

"Lia Baxter! You better get back to work this instant or at least phone me to say what the fuck you're playing at! You can't just stop coming to work for no reason! Get your arse over to my office immediately if you value your job!" came my bosses voice again. I groaned.

"Well, at least you don't work for him anymore!" Owen laughed looking disparaging.

"Yeah," I agreed icily, "Idiot. All he cares about is getting the job done. But maybe I should have called him-."

"Message four."

"Kayla? It's Charlie. Are you all right? It's just…you didn't call me back? What's going on, honey? Please call me."

"End of messages."

"You mind if I call her back now?" I asked Owen anxiously. I hadn't meant to worry Charlie; hell, she'd been my best friend through everything and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her.

"No problem," Owen said, "Can I use the kettle?"

"On you go," I said as I picked up the phone and dialled Charlie's number.


	33. Not Remembering

**Author's Note: Like I mentioned in my one of my other stories, _Daddy Was Wrong, _due to my school returning and various other things, my computer time will be restricted somewhat so updates will be as regular as I can manage. Sorry about that and please keep reading! Thanks!**

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"Kayla! Why the hell haven't you been answering my calls? I've been so fucking worried! It's been days! I came round to your house and there was nobody in! Where the hell have you been? You just disappeared of the globe for days on end without telling me! What's been going on, eh?" Charlie yelled down the phone as soon as she'd heard my voice. I winced and held the receiver away from my ear to avoid being deafened because, believe me, Charlie could shout for Britain. I was lying on my bed, having moved out of the living room to talk to Charlie in private.

"Charlie, I'm sorry," I said quietly, "It's just... It's just that stuff's been happening and... And... Something came up at work and I had to go away for a few days." I didn't really know why I was lying to my best friend but for some reason I didn't want to tell her about Torchwood.

"Oh, and when were you going to tell me?" Charlie asked, sounding quite hurt.

"I... I dunno. I honestly meant to but-."

"But what? I don't understand," Charlie snapped, "I had some guy called Ianto Something-Or-Other appearing at my door telling me how you'd decided to change your name and some other random stuff about how you'd been finding out about your family. He said you'd sent him to explain for you and-."

"Don't you remember? I told you about my parents and the Doctor and everything and-."

"You've been to a doctor? What's wrong Kayla?" Charlie interupted again, concerned. By this point I was beyond confusion.

"Charlie, what's going on?" I asked.

"I was going to ask you the same question! That Ianto person said he worked with you? I've never heard you talk about anyone called Ianto! And how come you told him before you told me?" Charlie demanded. I hated it when she was angry with me. I really wished I could explain to her what's going on but I couldn't. I didn't know how she couldn't remember.

"That's the thing. I got a new job. That's why I've been away."

"What sort of job?" Charlie wanted to know. I hesitated.

"Specialist undercover journalism..." I said, almost truthfully.

"So you've been away on an undercover mission?" Charlie enquired excitedly. I could hear the anger leaving her voice as I answered her questions. How could she have forgotten what I'd told her when Gwen was here?

"Yeah," I said, "I got a new job in the city and. And I met a guy and-."

"Oh!" Charlie squealed excitedly, "Have you "done it" with him yet?"

"Charlie!" I giggled.

"Yes?" she replied innocently.

"Even if I have "done it" with him as you put it, I wouldn't be inclined to go around shouting about it, would I?"

"You have!" Charlie exclaimed gleefully. I felt my face glowing and I was glad that Owen himself was in the living room while I was in my bedroom.

"I never said-."

"You never denied it though!" Charlie cried. I couldn't believe she was getting this excited about _my_ sex life. Actually, I take that back. I can imagine it. "Aw! Little Miss I-Don't-Have-Time-For-Guys had her first shag!"

"Erm, can we not go there please?" I asked, cringing.

"What's his name then?" Charlie asked.

"Owen, " I told her uselessly. There was no point arguing with her, "Owen Harper." Ridiculous as it may seem, I got a buzz from just saying his name. There was something about it that made my skin tingle.

"Sexy," Charlie said.

"What?" I giggled.

"Good name," Charlie said in approval, "You think it'll last?"

"I hope so," I replied honestly.

"Well, you can tell this Owen Harper that if he doesn't look after you I'll kick his arse," Charlie informed me bluntly. I laughed again, glad that she wasn't shouting at me anymore.

"I'll tell him," I promised, "And I should go. He's actually in the house - probably bored out of his mind."

"Oh! He's there? Are you gonna go "entertain him" for a bit?" she gushed. I could almost see her sly, evil grin.

"Bye Charlie," I said, choosing to ignore that question.

"Bye honey," she said, giggling like a crazed hyena, "Have fun." I rolled my eyes. Trust Charlie to react like that to the mention of a man in my life. I had to admit, that phone call had given me a great deal to think about. I padded back through to the living room with my head buzzing with questions in need of answers.

"Owen?" I said by means of announcing my arrival in the room. Owen looked up from the article in the paper he was reading.

"Hmm?"

"Why doesn't Charlie remember anything I told her the other day?" I asked quietly as I sat down beside him on the sofa.

"Ah..." said Owen awkwardly. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"Ah?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Well, Gwen told Ianto that you told your mate about how you're alien and all that. And Tosh... Tosh thought it'd be best if people didn't know," Owen explained, not meeting my gaze.

"So she's been made to forget?" I asked, wide-eyed. Something in my heart felt numb. My best friend - the one who'd gotten me though so much - didn't know the truth.

"Retcon. Yeah," Owen confirmed, "I'm sorry. But she can't know about Torchwood. Nobody can. Expect us, nobody else really knows what we do."

"She doesn't know and I can't tell her?" I whispered more to myself than to Owen. He nodded sadly.

"That's the burden of Torchwood," he said, with evident bitterness in his eyes. He took my hand, "And that's why..." he paused for a moment trying to form the words, "That's why I'm so glad to have you."

I smiled weakly, lost for words. I looked around my little living room. It all seemed so normal and it was strange compared to what I'd seen over the last few days. When I saw the TV, the lamp, the carpet, the light switch it was almost like I thought that everything in Torchwood had just been an odd dream but then I turned my gaze back to Owen. Owen. I loved him so much and I'd only met him a few days ago. I couldn't imagine life without him now.

"You okay?" Owen enquired anxiously. I blinked slightly and came back to reality.

"I... I'm gonna," I stumbled over my sentence, "I'm gonna go take a shower. D'you mind?" I checked.

"'Course not!" Owen said quickly. I smiled again and got to my feet. I just needed time to clear my head. "And Kayla?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry..," Owen said gently and I knew he meant it. It wasn't his fault but he meant what he was saying.


	34. Only One For Me

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reading this! I'm just saying I started back at school on Tuesday (S4 is big year for us in Scotland) and I don't get the computer as regularly as I did at least for a week or two. So, _please_ keep reviewing even just to say "I read it" or whatever and I'll keep updates as regular as I can. It's horrible being back at school after six weeks of holidays... It's weird having my brain melting down for reasons far from wonderful Janto videos on YouTube and amazing fanfiction stories! **

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I stood in the shower for a moment without doing anything. I just let the water run over me. The temperature of the water eased the aches in my muscles and I felt the tension easing off slowly.

I felt confused; I'd found Torchwood and it had seemed so brilliant. It was all exciting and I guess "good" would be the only word to describe it. But suddenly it seemed claustrophobic and restricting. It was a bit of a paradox really. In order to find the freedom the outfit offered I had to commit myself to being unable to talk to people about my job. Sure I had Owen and the others but it was going to mean to lying to my best friends. On the other hand, as Jack had asked, could I really walk away from Torchwood?

I decided I'd talk it over with Owen. I upended the shampoo bottle into my hand and smiled as it dribbled from my hands like water down a waterfall. I massaged it into my hair, trying to work out the tugs and knots. I forced myself not to think about the great deal of blood, sweat and water from the Bay that was most likely causing the tangles.

I cleaned the rest of my body gingerly as I noticed the numerous scars and bruises. It was the first time I'd really thought about my injuries. Most of them weren't deep enough to cause any great deal of blood loss, hence the fact that I was still alive. The Master and Verdreht had only been aiming to hurt me. Bastards. My stomach clenched just thinking about them.

Finally, feeling more like myself again, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I wrapped the towel tightly around myself and wandered through to the bedroom. I pulled on my underwear and then looked at myself in the full-length mirror on the wall. And I mean _really _looked at myself.

"You've grown up a lot," I whispered to myself as I reached out a hand to touch that of my reflection. I guess it was the first time I'd really seen _me _since I was about ten years old. After Mum and Dad died I stopped seeing myself as who I was because I was hiding so much behind "Lia Baxter". Not anymore.

After getting dressed properly I walked back to the living room. Owen was still reading the paper when I sat down beside him trying to pull my wet hair into a ponytail .

"Owen," I said slowly, "I want you to tell me what you think about Torchwood." Owen looked at me for a moment with a strange (yet attractive) look in his eyes. "Honestly," I added firmly.

"Kayla...of all the people I've met, you'd be the last person I'd lie to," Owen said firmly and I saw how much he meant it from his expression.

"Tell me," I insisted. I put my hand down on the sofa and felt a shiver run up and down my spin as it brushed up against Owen's.

"Torchwood... It's great. It's really amazing," Owen began carefully, "I've changed a lot since joining and I couldn't go back from there. I feel like I... Like I found myself a bit when I became Torchwood's doctor. But the thing is I... I've seen so much but I can't talk to anyone besides the team about it. It can get suffocating and... But the more importantly, I dunno where I'd be if I hadn't found Torchwood."

There was silence in the room for a moment. I was feeling a strange mixture of emotions. It was like I was excited about my new life but also mortally afraid. I was growing up quickly and life was going so fast. All I could do was hold on and hope for the best.

"Do you ever want to talk to other people about it?" I asked softly as Owen's hand trailed over mine.

"Yeah. Yeah I do. But I can't. Torchwood's a secret organisation and it was to stay that way. But there comes a time when you really don't feel you can tell people. The majority wouldn't believe you. I mean, seriously, if you didn't know what my job was would you believe me if I said "Hey, Kayla, I run around catching aliens for a living!"?"

"Probably not," I admitted with a small smile, "But nobody can ignore all the evidence! The Christmas Star? The Cyberman Invasion? There's been so much to prove aliens are real."

"But people _do _deny it! People don't accept that because they're scared. They keep running and hiding and pretending it isn't real," Owen said with a small note of frustration in his voice. I knew he was right. People _do _hide from things they don't understand and I knew loads of people that pretended the Cyberman Invasion hadn't happened and at times I could think of little else.

"That's when it's good to have someone who understands…someone you can really talk to about all of it," Owen carried on, "You know…someone who won't laugh if I say I'm scared or whatever." He blushed slightly. I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"You'll always have me," I said firmly, "Torchwood's not something I think I could leave."

"So you're gonna stay?" Owen asked, with a hopeful smile.

"Yep," I said before struggling to my feet, "Now. I'm going to go pack some stuff."

"Mind if I use you're shower?" Owen asked standing up too. I tried to ignore the series of thoughts and images that filled my head - the sort of things I'd expect Charlie to think.

"Feel free," I replied as he followed me out of the room and into my bedroom, "And I've got a change of clothes if you want. Zack's about the same size as you."

"Zack?" Owen asked, suspicious. There was a small frown on his face and I stifled a giggle. "I thought you were an attractive single female living alone?"

"Zack's a friend," I explained, off-handed, as I rummaged around in my wardrobe, "We met at school. He crashes here sometimes."

"Just a friend?" Owen enquired in what was _so _obviously a forced casual voice.

"Uh huh. He's not my type," I said, "Or more, I'm not _his _type."

"Oh?" Owen said looking puzzled, "So-."

"He's gay," I said laughing at the look of intense relief on Owen's face.

"Right..." he said, smiling slightly as I dumped a pair of guy's jeans in his arms, "And he won't mind me borrowing these?"

"Hell no," I laughed, "They're mine actually. I've got a huge supply of men's clothing in my house. Zack usually appears here with little other than a toothbrush so it's down to me to keep him in presentable clothes for the while he's here."

"So I don't need to be worried about him then?" Owen said, looking considerably more comfortable in the situation.

"Nope," I said laughing, "You're the only one for me."


	35. Scared

We didn't do much that day. We just lounged around watching DVDs. Neither of us spoke too much; we just relaxed and tried to come to terms with the recent events.

"Want to order a Chinese?" Owen asked at about seven o' clock. We were curled up on the sofa and the adverts before some prime-time drama came on. Owen's fingers were tracing patterns on my stomach making my heart flutter slightly and sending me straight into a sense of security.

"Yeah, might as well," I said as he reached over the arm of the sofa for the phone.

While we were eating I noticed Owen was strangely quiet. He just seemed distracted and there was a small frown on his face. I watched him for a moment before putting my fork down and looking at him across the table.

"You okay?" I asked gently. Owen blinked slightly, as though woken from a dream.

"What? Oh…yeah," he said. I raised my eyebrows.

"You sure? You just seem a bit…off," I said, for lack of a better word. Owen sighed and put his own cutlery down and burying his head in his hands.

"It's just…" Owen began but broke off before looking at me with a confused, slightly fearful look in his eyes.

"Take your time."

"I…I don't want you to take this the wrong way," he said carefully. I felt my heart sink.  
"What?" I said, trying to keep the fear out of my voice. Owen picked up on that.

"It's not that! No!" he said, eyes widening.

"What is it?"

"I…I'm scared Kayla," he explained staring at the table. I felt my eyes narrow in a confused expression.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"It's just…before you…I…I had-," he struggled to explain.

"You had others?"

"Yeah… Yeah I did. I loved them, Kayla, I really did but…" he tailed off, "But things happened and…and…and Kayla, I don't want to lose you like I lost them." There was a small silence for a moment. I bit my lip carefully.

"You're not going to lose me…so long as you want me here, I'll be here," I said reaching across the short distance of the table and taking his hand.

"Yeah…God, Kayla, I feel like I needed to tell you how I felt and I dunno, just…"

"I don't mind. I'm glad you told me," I said comfortingly. Owen smiled sadly.

"I'm bloody terrified…" Owen said, "I just…I just wanted you to know that I did love them and I lost them and…and it hurt. I don't want to go through that again."

"I don't want to lose you either," I admitted as he looked at me with a confusion I'd never seen with him. There was another silence for a moment.

"It's like Torchwood, I guess," Owen said with a small laugh. Catching on, I smiled too.

"Scared but not able to walk away…"

"Exactly," Owen said, "And I could never walk away from you."

Just then the radio presenter we were listening to made an announcement, "This is a request for Max MacDougall from Scotland, on holiday in Cardiff. He would like us to play this song to remind him of the Ceilidh dances back home. This is the Military Two-Step for Max." Then the first few notes of the dance came on the speaker and Owen grinned.

"Miss Jacobs, would you do me the honour of this dance?" he said, his attitude changing like the wind. He stood up and offered me his hand.

"Why, Mr Harper! That would be lovely!" I replied accepting his hand and he helped me to my feet.

"You know this dance, miss?" he said in a falsely polite voice. I nodded.

"Indeed I do, sir," I said with a smile, "I'm from Scotland, so we were taught this dance."

"Thought I recognised the accent," he said as we started the dance. I'd always known my accent had a strong Scottish edge, but being in Wales for so long, I'd started to pick up a bit of the accent.

We started to dance and I quickly remembered the steps from my childhood, family friends wedding parties and such like. There was one time my Dad had dragged me onto the dance floor to do this dance, despite my protests.

It's a fairly quick dance and I remembered my PE teacher's voice in my head "Heel, toe, heel, toe, forward two, three, four…" I could tell that Owen wasn't entirely familiar with the steps and was copying me greatly but I didn't really mind. It's a paired dance and a single experience two people share.

When the music stopped we were both slightly out of breath but smiling. Owen nodded and bowed to me.

"I do thank you for that dance, miss," Owen said with a voice resembling that of the nobles of the past you see in films, "The man you fall for is a very lucky man indeed."

"As I am I to find a man worth falling for," I said happily as he pulled me in closer. I shut my eyes and felt his lips against mine. You know you get that feeling when you don't want to move away from the source of the happiness but you also want to run around shouting about your happiness? That's exactly how I felt them.

"Would you lover mind if I borrowed you for the night?" Owen whispered, role-playing. I smirked.

"My lover would be delighted," I breathed instinctively responding to his hand on the base of my spine.

Sometimes you see on television and in books that people who had a bad experience with a man are reluctant to let another man touch them again, even if it is the one the love. I guess in some cases it's true, and in other's they do it for good reading or whatever. That's not how it was with me. If anything, I was glad of Owen's touch. It was almost like I was proving to the Master and Verdreht that I wasn't afraid and that I wasn't going to let them ruin my love life or, for that matter, any other aspect of my life.

Owen loved me, and I loved him. Nothing could change that.


	36. Kareoke Night

**Author's Note: This chapter was so much fun to write! I do not own any of these songs and wouldn't dream of saying I did. This is for Cee. And sorry for the slow updates... School life is hectic sometimes, as many of you probably know.**

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Okay, I used to go to karaoke nights with Charlie when we had nothing else to do on a Friday night but I have to say, going with the Torchwood team was interesting to say the least. Jack phoned around two in the afternoon buzzing with this idea that the team should take me out for the night to welcome me to Torchwood. Karaoke was _not _what I'd expected.

Owen and I were walking, arm in arm, amongst the rest of the team. There was a good atmosphere about the evening and I was feeling happy with the world.

There was a small queue outside the club that was hosting the "Ten Till Two Karaoke Bash". Owen let go of my arm to get out his wallet. As we neared the front of the line a man behind us smirked at me with a suggestive glint in his eyes when I looked back to see how long the queue was behind us. I raised my eyebrows, challenging him to do something.

"Hey there, baby," he said as Jack paid for the tickets. He was a big, burly man with a squashed face.

"You talking to me?" I asked with a small smile.

"Uh huh," he said, "Nice dress. And I'm Samson."

"Thanks," I said as Owen tensed beside me. The man seemed not to have noticed him there. "My boyfriend said that too." The man flinched slightly, as I'd planned he would when I said that sentence. I smirked.

"Boyfriend?" he asked, trying to look curious but there was a tremble in his voice that man me want to laugh.

"Yep, this is Owen," I said smiling and nodding towards Owen.

"Oh… Hi," the man said awkwardly while Owen looked at him with raised eyebrows and a mocking expression.

"Hands off, buddy," Owen said firmly before putting an arm around me and following Jack, Gwen, Tosh and Ianto inside the club. It was crowded inside and there was already a gang of girls up on the stage singing along to something by Shania Twain.

"Let's go grab a drink?" Owen said, looking at Jack, who nodded and we made our way through the crowd of swaying bodies.

Jack ordered the drinks and then we searched for a table at the edge of the room. We finally found an empty one and put the drink tray down before settling ourselves to absorb the atmosphere.

Within minutes it became apparent that Jack had planned all of this carefully and had already contacted the DJ. I felt myself blushing scarlet as the DJ made the next announcement of the night.

"Right. and this one's for "Jack Harkness and Co"," the cute blond DJ said into the microphone, "This is _Trouble _by Shampoo! Come on guys! Up you get!"

Jack grinned and dragged us all to our feet. We all clambered onto the stage and crowded around standing microphones. Jack winked at me and I giggled slightly as the music began to play.

"_Uh oh! We're in trouble! Something's come along and it burst our bubble!" _we all sang happily. I thought it was a perfect song for Torchwood.

"_We've been out all night and we haven't been home!" _Jack sang solo as though this had all been planned. By the time we started on the chorus again I saw the man who'd been chatting me up outside flash a dirty smile at me. I raised my eyebrows and formed a plan in my head.

I trotted over to the DJ when the song was over and made my request. Then I settled myself beside Owen and grinned at the suspicious look on his face.

"Right…this is for Samson from Kayla Jacobs," the DJ said and the man from outside looked shocked. He got to his feet anyway and clambered onto the stage and stood by the microphone as the first chords of the song came on. I cackled gleefully as I gave Gwen a high-five as Samson realised my choice of song.

"_I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world! Life in plastic! It's fantastic! You can brush my hair! Undress me anywhere! Imagination! Life is your creation!" _Samson sang amid gales of laughter. His face was crimson with embarrassment but backing down would have been unsporting. Owen suddenly gasped beside me. I looked around to see Jack dragging Ianto his feet with an over excited glint in his eyes. Ianto was putting up a feeble protest but gave in quickly.

"_I'm a blond bimbo girl! In a fantasy world!_" Jack sang as he leapt up onto the stage with Ianto. Samson looked greatly relieved to have company, "_Dress me up! Make it tight! I'm your dolly!" _The Captain nudged Ianto and detached the microphone from the stand and handed it to him.

"_You're my doll, rock n' roll! Feel the glamour in pink! Kiss me here! Touch me there! Hanky panky!" _Ianto sang cringing slightly as Jack kissed his cheek. Owen was doubled up laughing and despite feeling mildly embarrassed for Ianto, I was crying with laughter.

"_You can touch!" _Jack grinned, "_You can play! If you say, "I'm always yours!""_

Samson was standing near the back of the stage mumbling into his microphone awkwardly.

Later on we'd all had considerably more to drink we'd seen some horrendous renditions of songs and we'd seen some truly horrendous ones. Jack was constantly on the stage, quite happy to show us all up in the process. Then the DJ started playing the _Macarena _so of course we all made our way to the dance floor in front of the stage to carry out the dance routine.

Charlie and I used to love this dance; it was one they played at all the school discos. The beat was horribly catchy and it was one of those routines you'd be stuck with for months.

"_Hey... Macarena!" _we all cried in unison. Owen was now standing right behind me and I vaguely heard him make a comment about that. I smirked and carried on dancing.

When we were all sitting down Owen whispered something in my ear and I grinned and nodded. He got up and walked over to the DJ with a sly grin on his face.

Moments later the announcement was made, "The next song was requested by one Owen Harper for his team mates Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones!"

Ianto's eyes widened slightly but he'd had a bit to drink and the atmosphere was so excitable anyway so he was all game for whatever was in store for him.

Jack and Ianto made their way onto stage again, Jack's eyes shining and he laughed when he saw the title of the song flash up on the screen overhead: _The Bad Touch _by the Bloodhound Gang.

"Oh yeah!" Jack cackled while Ianto looked downright terrified at his bosses delight, _"Ah ha! Well now! We call this the act of mating! But there are several other very important differences between humans and animals that you should know about!" _Jack said before the drumbeat came in forcefully.

Owen looked as though he was going to suffocate from lack of oxygen reaching his brain, as did the rest of us.

"_I'd appreciate your input!_" Jack smirked as the rest of the team and I wolf-whistled loudly. By the chorus the audience were on their feet singing along. Jack was doing some sort of bizarre dance that only too well represented sex and Ianto was just going along with Jack's excessiveness. Suddenly, the Captain sprung from the stage and grabbed Owen's arm and dragged him up too. Startled, Owen dragged me on to the stage and I squealed. Ianto shrugged and collected Gwen and Tosh. Tosh looked embarrassed but tried not to show it too much. Owen had his arms around my waist and I tried to control my laughter and not focus on the looks from the audience. Samson was glaring at Owen.

"_You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!" _we all half-sang half-shouted as the song drew to a close.

The next thing I was aware of was Owen kissing my neck and lifting me down from the stage. If this is what Torchwood did on nights off, I was happy to be joining them.


	37. Undercover

**Author's Note: Sorry it's short... Sorry it took so long to update...**

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I had my first proper day at work two days after the karaoke night at the pub. I'd had just enough time to quit my job at the newspaper and settle into Owen's flat properly. The two of us were happy together and I suspected – and hoped - it would last. My little car now sat outside beside my boyfriend's.

I was anxious to get working at Torchwood and I felt like one of the team almost as soon as I walked into the Hub with Owen.

"Hey Kayla!" Jack called as he strode quickly towards me with a welcoming smile, "Right, you're station's gonna be over here." He took my arm and led me over to a desk beside Gwen's. She gave me a small wave and went back to the paperwork she was doing. I never realised that paperwork would be part of the job. Damn. I always hated that aspect of work.

My desk looked tidy and there wasn't very much there. I noticed ac couple of files lying on it. There was also a hole-punch! Okay, so I shouldn't be so excited about a hole-punch but at my last workplace I'd _never _had a one. There just didn't seem to be one in the building! Anywhere I looked, there just _wasn't _a freaking hole-punch!

"Right, we're working on a case," Jack said looking round to Owen as well.

"What we got so far?" Owen wanted to know.

"Well, death at a local hotel," Tosh said from behind a screen, "Not _quite _as "normal" as it's made out to be."

"Normal?" I repeated, bewildered but nobody explained.

"She started trying to kill everyone around. Then her body exploded," Jack said with a small wince.

"What the hell?" I mumbled under my breath.

"We need to find out what's going on before anything happens again," Tosh said.

Owen nodded, "'Kay," he said, "So, what d'you want me to do?"

"Well…" Jack said lamely.

"Jack?" Owen probed.

"I dunno," he admitted, "We've done every scan imaginable and we haven't picked anything up."

"So, we go to the hotel and ask around?" I suggested.

"I thought of that," Jack agreed then turned to me again, "We need an undercover agent."

"Bloody hell, I've been here like," I checked my watch, "Five minutes?"

"Yup," Jack smiled, "Strange how things come up like that."

"Give me twenty minutes and I'll have a story for you, Kayla," Tosh said.

"You sure it's safe to let her go alone?" Owen asked slowly, "Like she said, she's only been here five minutes." I looked at Owen suspiciously. I was perfectly capable of going undercover by myself if I had to.

"You offering your company?" Jack asked with a small smirk in my direction. I looked at the ground, trying not to laugh.

"Well…" Owen said shrugging as though he didn't really mind. I could tell at once that that was exactly what he'd been offering.

"Right then. You're probably right. You go with her," Jack said, "You guys live together anyways. There's… chemistry between you."

I blushed and Owen kissed my cheek lightly and went hurrying off to his workstation to look for something. It was then that I noticed the look Toshiko was giving me; jealously - almost resentful. As soon as she saw me looking she turned away and went back to typing. I felt slightly hurt then; had I done something wrong? Was me being with Owen upsetting her? I didn't want to annoy anyone when I'd only been in the place for less than ten minutes properly.

I sat down behind my desk and sighed. I pulled one of the folders, found lists of all the Torchwood protocols and groaned. Owen looked at me, noticing that. He trotted over and looked over my shoulder.

"Oh!" he said laughing, "I remember that folder. Light bedtime reading."

"I have better things to do at bedtime," I said without looking up at him.

"I know you do," he replied as he headed back to his desk. Gwen caught my eye and raised her eyebrows. I smiled.

Not long later, Tosh announced she had a cover story for Owen and I. We all crowded round to listen.

"So…you're a married couple on holiday from a town in Scotland. That way anyone looking isn't gonna try tracing you to Cardiff."

"Married?" Owen asked with a laugh.

"Yes," Tosh replied curtly. Jack pressed a ring into each of our hands.

"Gotta look the part," he winked as we stared at him.

"You're both doctors so that puts you in a position where they might go to you if they need any immediate medical help," Tosh carried on. Owen nodded and I looked slightly bewildered.

"So when we going?" Owen asked curiously.

"Tonight," Jack said firmly, "We need this sorted out soon as."


	38. The Hotel

**Author's Note: Sorry L.C this isn't quite as M-rated as I'd planned but I have ideas for later chapters... Maybe.**

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The next few hours were full of preparations. Gwen took me to a private room where she kitted me out with a vast quantity of gadgets. It strongly reminded me of scenes in those spy novels I sometimes read. Gwen handed me a communications device; you know, the really cool blue-tooth sort of thing. I'd had one before for my old job but never one as cool as the Torchwood one.

"You're going to need this but you can't use this openly. For any important events you should wear it but keep your hair down and keep this covered – that's something you can do but Owen can't," she explained with a smile before showing me how to use it.

"Nice," I breathed as she fitted the thing around my ear.

"That's what I thought when I got one," she replied cheerfully. Then she handed me a thing that looked like a watch and I looked at her in confusion and excitement.

"So what's this do?" I asked.

"Tracker," she said quietly, "So we can follow you wherever you go." She flipped the watch face open and showed me a small panel of buttons inside, "Press the red one it you're in trouble. The yellow one if you've got information to tell us."

"Got it," I said nodding. This was all very exciting.

"Good," Gwen said, "Jack will kit you out with weapons and stuff. But one more thing, you know your shape shifting ability?"

"Yep."

"How good are you at controlling it now? Could you resist it if you needed and could you sustain a form if you had to?" Gwen asked seriously. I bit my lip.

"I dunno. I'll try my best but to be honest, I'm getting better," I said.

"So you could do without a restriction pendant thing like you had earlier?"

"I'd manage. If an alien pops up or something, I could always, you know, get Owen to hold my hand," I said with a small grin and a blush. Gwen giggled slightly.

"So you and Owen. How you getting on?" she asked excitedly. I grinned happily.

"Brilliantly," I said honestly, "I really… I love him," I admitted. Gwen hugged me tightly and sighed contentedly.

"He deserves someone like you," she said letting go of me, "He's a good guy and he's been a hell of a lot happier with you around."

"Really? All I've done is cause him pain by nearly dying all the time!" I said, half-laughing.

"Not all the time! But the times when we're not fighting for our lives, he's so much brighter than usual. You brought that to him Kayla."

I glowed inside. I was so glad that I'd made a difference to someone's life and caused happiness rather than hurt. I knew he loved me but now I had proof. Well, more proof from someone else's point of view.

"Gwen?" I asked suddenly, "Is Toshiko upset with me?"

Gwen stared, slightly surprised at the randomness of my question.

"What? Oh…" she said frowning slightly, "Maybe a bit."

"Why?"

"She's… I dunno how to say this," Gwen sighed, "It's… I think she has a bit of a thing for Owen."

"Oh," I said, lost for words. Gwen put a sympathetic arm around my shoulders.

"She doesn't hate you or anything. She's probably just a bit hurt because you got Owen before she did and she's been here longer."

"Right," I nodded, "Thanks Gwen… I was just wondering…"

"It's okay," Gwen assured me. I smiled and hugged her again.

"Thanks."

* * *

I was in a state of nervous excitement later on. Owen and I had been sent home to pack our bags ready for a holiday. I felt like I was _always _packing my bags. Before we knew it were sitting in a bus shelter waiting for the five o' clock bus to come along. The bus was the safest way to get there because travelling in our own cars would mean we could be traced by the registration if anyone wanted to. Taking the SUV would potentially mean being captured on CCTV and our cover would be blown.

"You ready?" Owen asked as the bus trundled down the street.

"Yep," I nodded, "You?"

"As always," Owen smiled as the bus ground to a halt. It wasn't a pleasant bus ride. It was obviously an old bus as it rattled and rocked the whole way to the hotel on the edge of the city. My first impression was that it was the sort of hotel that only rich people could afford and I was suddenly glad the Torchwood was paying for this. I doubted very much I'd have enough money.

It was a big Victorian style building but was clearly built recently. It was impressive and didn't seem the sort of place to be a crime scene. There were well-trimmed bushes lining a gravel pathway up to the front door. It was called the "Cardiff Royal Hotel" and I could see why. The cars in the car park were all expensive looking vehicles and I suddenly felt like such a lowlife compared to all this glamour.

"Bloody hell," Owen breathed.

"Nice place," I said thoughtfully, "Let's go check in."

"Yeah."

The reception was stunning. There were chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the systems at the desk were very hi-tech. The computers were the sort of thing I could never have imagined. Owen seemed to have picked up on that.

"Fancy machines you got there," he said casually to the man in the suit behind the desk. The man was a tight-lipped sort of guy and I didn't quite like him.

"Hmm. Latest technology," he said briskly, "And you would be Leon and Marian Hunter?"

"Yes, yes we would," Owen said with a nod. The man tapped a button on his computer and smiled.

"Yes, I'll show you to your room," he said sweeping out from behind the desk and ushering us up a grand set of stairs. I dragged my suitcase along behind me and looked around curiously. I'd never been in a hotel quite like this one. It was very different to the little "bed and breakfast" places that Charlie and I sometimes crashed in.

We were in room two hundred and nine and the man handed Owen the key to the room, gave a low bow and walked away from us.

"Well he was a bundle of laughs," Owen said under his breath.

"Tell me about it!" I said, rolling my eyes. We walked into the room and were at once overcome by the impressiveness. There was a large double bed in the centre of the room with elaborate sheets. The wallpaper was cream and lightly patterned.

"This place is just _too _clean," Owen muttered as he looked around. I nodded.

"I know…" I agreed. There was a subtle hint of bleach in the air that was disguised by some sort of air freshener. Suspicious.

I dumped my bag at the end of the bed and sat down and grinned slightly as I sank into the mattress. Owen unzipped his own bag and pulled out the laptop. He set it up on the unit beside the television. He opened it up and turned it on.

"What you doing?" I asked.

"Telling Jack we're here," he replied as he typed in a password. Two minutes later the web-cam was loaded up and Jack was grinning at us.

"Hey Jack," I called from the end of the bed.

"Hi!" Jack said brightly.

"Just saying we got here okay," Owen said, "Strange sort of place though. Bit too much of the forced politeness…"

"Be careful what you're saying," Jack warned, "They could be watching your room."

"Right," Owen nodded.

"Hang on a sec," Jack said suddenly before vanishing off the screen.

Owen flopped down on his front beside me. He kicked off his trainers and sighed. "What the hell are we even looking for?" he asked as I lay down on my back beside him.

"Dunno. Odd things?" I said with a small laugh.

"Guess so," Owen agreed, "But I suppose…there's a lot you can do in a hotel…" I smirked at the grin on his face.

"Oh?" I said trying to hold back the giggles as he climbed on top of me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I felt my mind go all fuzzy as his hands scrabbled at my t-shirt. He was already sending shivers down my spine and I felt like I was going to explain.

My hands were entwined in his hair, preventing him from moving. His hands were in a place that anyone but Owen could have been slapped for touching; and boy did he know it. My hands trailed down his back and he shivered slightly against me and shut his eyes contentedly for a moment.

Suddenly he had my t-shirt over my head and I was momentarily startled. Then he pulled his own off to save me the bother and I noticed the excited sparkle in his eyes. I loved that look and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear as trailed kisses down my neck.

"Oi!" came a sudden bark from the laptop. I sat up, alarmed. Owen cried out, looking around to the offending machine on the desk and in doing so, lost balance and fell on the floor. He grabbed my arm and dragged me down with him. I squeaked in surprise and then started laughing helplessly. Owen looked at me for a moment before collapsing into laughter too.

"Hey! You two!" came Jack's voice from the laptop again. I suddenly realised I'd forgotten that the web-cam was on… Oops.

"Oh…" Owen said, trying to keep a straight face as he scrambled to his feet wearing nothing other than his jeans. I pulled on the nearest t-shirt – which happened to be Owen's – and jumped up on the bed again to talk to Jack.

"How long were you watching," I demanded at once, trying to keep my eyes from wandering towards Owen. Jack smirked and didn't answer my question.

"I just thought I would stop you before you upset the children," he said with a small smile gesturing towards Ianto, whom had just appeared on screen beside the Captain.


	39. Men

**Author's Note: This is the penultimate chapter for this story! And I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit odd. I was in a really weird mood today. **

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It turned out Jack had found out more information on the hotel owner; her name was Bertha Buchan, wife of Martin and with three kids in primary school. She was involved in an interview with the news and had said "I can't close the hotel; it's the only thing keeping my family supported. And whatever it was that killed that woman - epidemic or whatever, it's over now, right?"

I wasn't so sure it was over. Neither was Owen. We went down to the hotel restaurant to get our dinner and there was a horribly tense atmosphere about the place. That was only to be expected but it was all very awkward. Nobody seemed to want to talk to the staff for fear of what had happened.

"Good food," Owen said, as he loaded his fork with lasagne. I nodded and carried on eating. There was nothing out of the ordinary to be seen then. I hadn't thought murderers would be obvious but still…

Two weeks later we hadn't been able to find anything. Another woman had been murdered in the hotel in the same way as the first. We'd been in contact with the Hub regularly and they didn't have anything new either. It was decided that Owen and I should bide our time in the hotel for a while to come in case we found something. It was frustrating to know that we couldn't do anything until we found out some information and nothing made any sense.

"You know, I just don't get this," Owen moaned for the umpteenth time and once again I agreed with him.

"Me neither," I said pulling the quilt tighter around me one Monday morning.

"You okay?" Owen asked, looking concerned when I buried my head in a pillow.

"Feeling a bit sick," I mumbled into the pillow.

"Oh…" Owen said lamely.

"I'll be fine," I insisted, "You go get some breakfast."

"Right… You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes!" I confirmed. I heard him leave the room after promising to bring me something to eat. I wasn't quite sure why I was feeling so off colour that morning at the time. I guessed I'd maybe eaten something the night before.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I groaned. I couldn't be bothered getting up but I did. As soon as I was on my feet, the world spun and I had to make a dash to the bathroom to throw up. The knock at the door came again.

Wiping my mouth on a cloth and still wearing my nightdress, I clicked open the door and smiled weakly at the person standing there. It was a tall, thin lady with big brown eyes. She had long blonde hair and a smile that, for some reason, made my skin crawl.

"Hello," I said, "Who are you?"

She gave a small laugh, "That's not relevant. I don't even need to know _your _name."

"I'm assuming you do though?"

"No. I just know you're in here alone for the moment. Yet you're not alone…" she had a gentle voice that made me feel quite sleepy.

"What d'you mean?" I asked, wide-eyed with confusion. I never liked riddles in the morning.

"I'm here for the person you're carrying," she said with a small laugh.

"Sorry, what the hell?" I asked, baffled. I didn't mean to be rude really but I was getting pissed off with this random stranger.

"You don't know do you?" she said with a laugh of realisation.

"What?" I demanded, irritated.

"You're pregnant," she said casually, "And I want the baby."

"You what?" I asked incredulously. Me? Pregnant? No bloody way. But… But… No! What would Owen say? Would he still want to be with me if we were gonna have a kid? I paled. This couldn't be happening… But then again, I was feeling sick and I heard that pregnant woman got like that in the mornings.

"You heard me," the woman said. She walked slowly towards me. I backed off, scared. Where the hell was Owen? I really wanted him to come back.

"Get out!" I snapped furiously. She had no right to be in here.

"Not till I get what I want," she said coolly, "Don't worry though, you won't feel a thing!" Then she pulled out a small machine, no bigger than a matchbox. It was a dark silved metal and looked slightly sinister.

"But… But if I _am_ pregnant the baby's not old enough to be born!" I said in sudden defence.

"I can speed up the process," she said lazily and threw me down on the bed. I tried to get up but she had the device pressed to my forehead.

"Fucking hell!" I cried out as pain exploded inside me.

"Can you feel it growing?" the woman asked as she placed a hand on my stomach. I struggled and in so doing, grabbed hold of my watch. I took a moment to realise what I could do. I flipped it open and pressed the buttons – both of them.

"Was it you that killed the other two?" I demanded, playing for time.

"Yes it was. The experiment went wrong…" she said with a small snarl, "The baby was lost…"

"Why d'you want people's babies?" I asked, confused. This was all some sort of sick game and I was scared. My heart was skipping beats randomly and my breathing was quickening. Where the _hell _was Owen?

"Oh they're not for me!" she laughed, "My masters want them to rebuild their colonies! Their people were wiped out by war and now they need people to rebuild the world. They need people that nobody will know…"

"You're a disgusting little bitch!" I breathed. She smirked.

"And you're going to die after this is over."

"What?" I squeaked.

"That box that I used to speed up growth… It's toxic to the mother. It also means the birth process won't be long and won't be typical of a normal human birth," she explained. I looked blankly at her.

"I don't understand."

"No… I didn't think you would. What's there not to understand though?"

"Why…?"

"Why?"

"I don't fucking know! Just get the hell out of here and go die somewhere!" I yelled, losing my temper.

"Hush now," she said, "We can't have you shouting and drawing attention to us."

"Oh, we bloody well can. My friends will be here soon and-."

"And by then you will be dying," she said simply. Bollocks.

"_Owen…_" I whimpered feebly. I wanted him here so badly.

Pain shot through me again and the woman started laughing madly.

"It's time!" she announced.

"Bugger off! Get away from me!" I sobbed.

"Get the hell away from her!" came another voice from the doorway. I recognised it at once and felt a dim sense of hope wash over me.

"Jack!" I cried.

"But-," the woman said. I screamed in pain again Jack didn't warn the woman again. There was an explosion before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell away from me. Jack as by my side in an instant.

"What's going on?" he asked, wide-eyed and confused.

"I'm having a fucking baby!" I exclaimed hysterically. Jack paled at once. If I hadn't been so stressed out I would have found it quite comical.

"Just stay calm," Jack urged.

"How the hell can I stay calm?" I wailed, "I'm gonna fucking die! That's what the woman said! She did some alien thing meaning the baby is ready to be – oh crap – What the hell do I do?"

Jack blinked. Confusion didn't suit him and it didn't make me feel much better either. He was usually so confident about everything.

"Bloody hell!" I exclaimed loudly as pain washed through me again. Jack looked nearly as terrified I felt.

Gwen came running in closely followed by Owen.

"Owen!" I cried out in dazed relief.

"Kayla?" Owen said looking confused.

"She's having a baby Owen," Jack stated bluntly.

"What?" Owen cried, "What… _mine_?"

"I'm… I'm guessing so!" I said.

"I'll… Um… Well, Owen, you're the doctor here," Jack said shiftily. Owen's eyes widened.

"Yeah, but I'm not a bloody midwife!" he said.

"Shouldn't we phone an ambulance?" Gwen asked tentatively, pulling out her mobile.

"Yeah…" Jack said, "Yeah."

Gwen threw the phone at Jack and then went to hold my hand. Owen seemed to have gone into some sort of shock.

"Men…" Gwen muttered, rolling her eyes.


	40. Steps Into The Unknown

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, added to favourites, added to alerts and just read this. You all make me feel so happy! Thank you! And this story was one of the most challenging things I've ever written and I loved writing it. I feel a bit weird without it actually. Thanks again to everyone and my all your lives bring happiness to you for being such wonderful people!**

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So now I'm lying here dying slowly. Every atom of my body feels like it's on fire and I'm so fucking scared. The last half an hour had all passed in a confusing blur. I'm dimly aware of a baby screaming and crying in Gwen's arms - a little girl apparently. The ambulance hasn't arrived yet and I'm slipping away.

Up until now I've always managed to escape being killed, maybe I can do it again? No, now it's real. I'm really gonna die. I can't die! No!

Jack's still here holding my hand. He's muttering words of comfort in my ear in an attempt to comfort me. Yeah, sure I trust him but I can't quite understand what he's saying to me. He's trying to make this easier but I know there's no way he can.

"I… I… I can't-," I hear myself mutter breathlessly. He takes my shoulder and pulls me into a hug. I gasp in pain but he tries to smile and distract me from my misery.

"It'll be all over soon," he says now. I try to nod but somehow I can't. He knows how I feel as it happened to him before too. I dunno if I want it to be over really.

"But… But… what… then?" I managed to stutter feebly.

"You'll be safe," he says firmly. I can trust him… I can believe him. He wouldn't lie to me. Not before and not now. But why am I still so afraid? It's the unknown. It's the not knowing what comes next that frightens the living daylights out of me. Ironic that. Usually I'd laugh but now here. Not now. I have so much else to worry about.

I've seen so much. I've done so much and now it's gonna end. Everything comes to an end eventually but it shouldn't be this way. It shouldn't be now.

"Safe," I repeat, managing a weak smile. He smiles too.

"It's been a long time since any of us have felt safe," he says. He's right.

"Owen…?" I mutter, "Where's Owen…?" I want him here now. Toshiko and Ianto appeared and Ianto are here and Ianto had to take Owen out for a bit. They've gone to wait in the street for the ambulance.

"He's okay…" Jack says, "He'll be here soon."

"I'm gonna die…" I mutter. I'm feeling drowsy and I can't really focus on anything. Suddenly the door bursts open and Owen throws himself down on the floor beside the bed where I'm lying. There are tears in his eyes and I so badly want to stop him hurting.

"Owen… Owen…" I whisper quietly and he takes my hand. His eyes are wider than usual and I can see in his eyes that I'm gonna die. He's a doctor but he can't help me now. It's alien stuff that's killing me and he can't work anything out.

"Kayla I'm here," he says quietly, "Kayla I'm sorry, I dunno what to do… Kayla don't die… Don't."

"Owen, calm down," Jack says trying to keep the tremble out of his voice.

"Owen… I love you…" I whisper slowly. Owen opens his mouth to say something but his voice dies in his throat and the first tears start to fall.

Then I'm crying too. I'm going to die and there's nothing anyone can do.

"Owen…" I cry, "Owen…" I dunno why I'm repeating his name over and over but I just want to feel him near me.

"I'm still here," he replies desperately.

"You'll look after her?" I say. He knows exactly whom I'm talking about – our daughter – and he nods quickly.

"Course I will!" he says firmly. I smile weakly and he brings my hand up to his lips and kisses it, "You're gorgeous, you know that?"

"And you're the most handsome man I've ever met…" I whisper softly.

Then it's all going. Colours are blurring into darkness. Lights are dimming to nothing. Sounds were fading to silence.

"Kayla!"

The end… It's all going to stop… Any minute…

"Please Kayla!"

Was that Owen…?

"Kayla!"

"Kayla!"

"Kayla!"

"_Kayla!"_

"_Kayla!"_

"No!" I suddenly yell, trying to sitting up and looking around frantically. I feel steady hands on my shoulders holding me down and I panic. I could here an incesent beeping beside me and know at once I'm in a hospital. Dammit. Heaven has hospitals? Or maybe I'm not in heaven. I try to move but someone's telling me not to. My head spins and I can't see anything for a moment. Everything is blurred and I think I'm going to throw up. I shut my eyes again and wait for the feeling to subside.

"You're… Oh, Kayla!" and next thing I know someone is crying on top of me, holding me close. Bloody hell, is this my funeral? Have I been sent back as a ghost or something? That's ridiculous though. Nothing makes sense in my head right now and everything seems somewhat amplified. "I thought… Oh Kayla I thought you were never gonna wake up! I thought I was going to lose you! I, oh fuck, I…"

So I'm not dead? What the hell...? I'm so confused.

"Now Mr Harper, give her some space," another voice says firmly and but the man hugging me doesn't listen. He's still hugging me tightly. I'm guessing the person who spoke was a nurse. Something suddenly clicks into place in my head and I figure out three thing: A) I'm not dead. B) I'm in a freaking hospital. C) The person hugging me is none other than Owen Harper. Owen... I smile dazedly. It's good to have him back.

"What's going on…?" I mumble. My mouth feels like it's full of gravel and I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller. I'm inexplicably tired and I want to go back to sleep.

"Honey, you were in coma," the nurse says gently, "Mr Harper _please_."

Owen lets go of me reluctantly but keeps hold of my hand. He's kneeling down beside my bed now. His eyes are glazed over with tears and he looks like he hasn't slept in days.

"What…?"

"You've been here for two weeks, honey," the nurse says softly.

"Seriously?" I ask incredulously, "I'm meant to be dead though…" All the memories are starting to flood back into me and I winced. Owen gives a hiccoughing sob and looks on the verge of breakdown.

"You've got yourself a good one here," the nurse says nodding towards Owen, "He's been here nearly all the time. And baby too."

"Baby? Oh. Yeah," I say, remembering.

Owen looks at me for a moment with a helpless expression. "I… Kayla they were gonna turn off the life support." Then he's in tears again. I'm a bit freaked out because he's not one for crying. Also it seems I just woke up in time. How dare the hospital make the choice of whether I live or die? It's not right!

"I'll give you two a minute then," the nurse smiles before shuffling out of the room. I'm infinitly glad she's gone and make an attempt at a small smile.

"Owen?" I whisper.

"Hmm?"

"How did you save me?"

"You sorta saved yourself," he says and I look confused. I was in no position to save myself.

"Remember that… that thing in your brain? The bit that makes you able to change?" he says watching me with big, brown eyes.

"Uh huh," I nod.

"Well, something to do with that. It meant that the alien growth chemical was eliminated by that bit in your brain…" Owen explains lamely. It's not the best explanation he's ever given but I don't care – and he's upset so I'll let him off. Before I know it he's literally thrown himself at me again. I feel his lips on mine and my body goes tingly and warm.

"I love you," I breathe. I've never meant anything more in my life than I meant that. Of all the things that happened over the last few weeks, Owen is the best thing that had came my way. It's hard to believe you could love some you've only known for a matter of weeks but I do. This is my life now; Torchwood, Owen, my daughter... To be honest with you, I wouldn't want it any other way.

So much has changed in my world recently and I'm just glad there is a person to hold my hand and that I have someone who needs to hold my hand too. Where would I be without Torchwood? I'd be hiding behind a name that wasn't my own. I wouldn't be feeling the buzzing rush of excitement every time Owen says my name. I wouldn't even have Owen in my life.

So maybe you think taking steps into the unknown is a bad thing but I don't. I most certainly do not. Okay, sometimes things go wrong if you run blindly into the darkness but not always. Sometimes you find the light brighter on the other side. Sometimes the grass is greener and sometimes, just sometimes, there's that someone special who will love you as you are.


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